The Gods and Titans Read PJO Series
by KronosTitanlord
Summary: The Titans frm the Golden Age are sent forward in time to a time where everything is different and they find a few suprises of their own. Disclaimer: I dont own the PJO or HOO Series, all publishing rights belong to Rick Riordan. This man is a Genious story writer
1. Chapter 1

Millenia before the Present day Era.

Kronos: HYPERION!

Hyperion: yes lord Kronos * bows Respectively*

Kronos: is the Army ready to march?

Hyperion: yes…..yes it is my lord

Kronos: Excellent my wife will enjoy watching her little children be wiped off this earth by me *smirks evily*

*Crius and Coeus enter*

Crius: My Lord *Bows* we have….

Just then a bright light came and swooped the Titans off of Mt Othrys* time Jump*

PRESENT DAY

Zeus: HERA FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME STOP PESTERING ME ABOUT INFIDELITY!

Hera: WELL MAYBE IF YOU WOULD ACTUALLY BE FAITHFUL TO ME INSTEAD OF RUNNING AROUND BEING A MALE GOD WHORE I WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE LECTURING YOU ABOUT INFIDELITY AND HOW ITS WRONG!

*All the Olympians watch in silence as the King and Queen Argue, Meanwhile the Throne Room is filled with a bright light and 6 Titans ( ,Hyperion,Iapetus,Crius,and Coeus) come out of it*

Zeus: OLYMPIANS ASSEMBLE!

Kronos:*looks up at Zeus and Sneers* its you, TITANS TO ARMS!

*The Titans rally their armour and Weapons and go battle stance*

Poseidon: What are you doing here Father?

*Kronos turns to Poseidon with a smirk*

Kronos:I don't know sea slug but what I do know is that your gonna die at the hands of your father!

Hestia: Please, let us find a rational state of mind and figure out why we are gathered.

Zeus:Hestia is right Father

*Kronos was about to attack when a note appeared in front of him*

Kronos,

King Of the Ancient Kingdom of Othrys Mountain, we have brought you forward in time to read about your second War and Manipulations you caused between the Gods and their Off-Springs ( Demigods) so we Will have you the Titans and Gods all read together.

Sincerely The Fates

P.S: Don't Disobey us Kronos or you will Suffer a lot more than you know.

P.S.S: Olympians your mother Rhea will be Joining in Later In Books so be on your best behavior for her.

Kronos: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! MY REIGN,MY KINGDOM, MY….*Glares at Zeus* You guys Win the WAR!

*Zeus,Poseidon & Hades Look at him Bewildered*

Hades:umm Dad… That was Thousands upon Thousands of years ago

Poseidon: yeah and then we split up the World to each of us, like I got the Ocean *Oceanus Glared*, Hades got the Underworld, and Zeus got the Sky *All Titans Glared at him*

Zeus: so shall we get started then *gulped in fear*


	2. Chapter 2

Kronos: so what are these damn books we have to read

*Athena notices a package in the middle of the room*

Athena:I think the books are in that box over there

Ares: well go on go get the fucking thing Theen Theen

*Snickers from The Titans and Hermes and Apollo are heard while Athena glared murderously at Ares*

Athena: . .ME THEEN THEEN! * the room shook*

Zeus: Alright Alright enough of this bickering open the damn package and see what we will be wasting….i mean Spending time reading (noting his wife glaring at him)

Hyperion whispering Oceanus: somebodies whipped *snickers* * unfortunetly Zeus Heard and shot a bolt of lightning at their feet , and being taken by surprise they jump and glare at the king of the gods who likewise glared back*

Athena: it says Percy Jackson & The Olympians : The Lightning Thief, Sea of Monsters,The Titans Curse, Battle of The Labrinyth,The Last Olympian *The Titans Eyes lit up on that one*

Athena: well I guess we…. ( she was cut off by Kronos)

Kronos: Last Olympian you say *evily Smirking while Athena Rolled her eyes*

Zeus:who will read first?

Hermes:I Believe I will inaugurate this fine ceremony * winked at the ladies who rolled their eyes, while Apollo snickered*

I accidently vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher

The titans bust out laughing

Kronos:this should be interesting*smirking like a killer*

Look I Didn't Want to be a Half Blood

If your reading this because you think you might be one, my Advice is close this book Immediately, and believe whatever lie your mom or dad tells you about birth,and try to lead a normal life.

Being a Half-Blood is dangerous

Kronos: HA! Try being a Titan boy!

Zeus: I think King of the Gods is much more Harder

Kronos: I disagree Son ( he said through gritted teeth)

Zeus: DON' . . !

Kronos:I JUST DID!

*before the Kings of the Titans & Gods started a whole new War in the Throne room Hermes wisely decided to read*

Its scary

Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways

If you're a normal kid reading this because you think its fiction,great I envy you to keep believing that none of this ever happened.

But if you recognize yourself in these Pages-if you feel something stirring inside of you-stop reading immediately-you might be one of us, and once you know that it wont be long before they come for you.

*Ares yawned*

Ares: Booooooooooooring this book needs some action

Athena: were only in the first few paragraphs genious * rolls her eyes*

Apollo: * gasps* did Athena just say ares was a genious….IT MUST BE SNOWING IN HADES, it…

*he was cut off by hades who was glaring deathly at him*

Or snowing in a place it doesn't normally snow *he gulped nervously*

*Artemis whacked him in the head*

Don't say I didn't warn you

Kronos: we are the most powerful race of being in the universe, I don't have anything to fear!

Zeus: except me

Hades:and me

Poseidon; and me…

*he was cut off by the Titans Laughter at their remarks, but little do they know what will happen when the Titans return to their time….*

My name is Percy Jackson

Im twelve years a few months ago,I was at a boarding school called Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.

Am I a troubled kid?

Yeah,you could say that

*snickers were heard around the room*

I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last may, when our sixth grade class went on a field trip to Manhattan-twenty eight-mental cased kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at Ancient Greek and Roman stuff.

Athena: that sounds very interesting

Poseidon: yeah of course you'd think so

*cue snicking from some gods and some Titans*

Athena: ill have you know Poseidon that I can throw a knive faster than you can say….AHHHHHHH

*a barge of water was thrown her way *

Athena:POSEIDON!

Poseidon: that wasn't me *looks accusingly at Oceanus*

Oceanus: hehehehe what cant Titans have a little fun hahahahaha

All Olympians shouted: NO!

Oceanus: bunch buzz kills * he whispered*

I know it sounds like torture. Most Yancy field trips were. But our Latin teacher, was leading this trip,so I had hopes.

Zeus: sounds familiar

Apollo: oh yeah just like the night you were drunk and went galavanting with a couple Nymphs after the Winter Solstice...*cue lightning strike* OUCH *he squeaked out*

Hera: oh really? And uh where was I when this little ''Galavantation'' was going on?

*Hera glared at Zeus*

Zeus: Well…uh…you see…..

*trying to make up a cover story*

Hera: RHETORICAL! I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHERE I WAS YOU WERE OUT WITH MORE WOMEN YET AGAIN!

*Zeus shrunk down into his throne and muttered some words that sounded like; mommy …need you here ….. protect me*

Mr Brunner was this middle aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee.

Hermes and Apollo shouted:ITS CHIRON!

Kronos: my other son?

Zeus: *sighs* yes dad your other son, you one you bored with another woman besides mom

Hera: oh please, although I had no love for dad cause he ate us, compared to you dad was a Loyal Husband to our mom.  
Zeus: . * his eyes glowed*

*Hera walked up to him and got in his face*

Hera: I SAID DAD HAS A BETTER GRASP OF LOYALTY THAN YOU DO! *Hera screamed at him*

*Zeus was outraged, so he grabbed Hera by the throat , made chains appear and wrap around her arms and legs and tie her to the ceiling*

Hera:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LET ME DOWN LET ME DOWN!

Zeus:*Screaming to her* MAYBE NEXT TIME YOUR CHOOSE YOUR WORDS MORE FUCKING WISELY!*

Iapetus to the other Titans: like father like son

*they snickered together until Kronos turned around and gathered at them*

You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class/he also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.

Athena:tsk tsk tsk should not sleep in class, for shame percy Jackson, for shame!

Demeter: maybe he needs some Cereal? Frosted flakes?

Hades: damn it woman! I thought you had gotten off that crap!

Demeter: no any as long as you have my precious baby Persephone I will keep bringing it up *she snarked at Hades who just rolled his eyes*

I hoped the trip would be least, I hoped for once I wouldn't get in trouble.

Boy,was I wrong.

See,bad things happen to me on field my fifth-grade school,when we went to the Saratoga battlefield,I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon.I wasn't aiming for the school bus,but of course I got expelled anyway.

Everyone in the Olympian throne room was laughing including Titans

Hermes: this kid is the coolest ive ever heard about

Apollo:but certainly not the brightest

*badum tsee*

Everyone looked at him

Apollo: no…nothing….not even a chuckle* he looked around and then he got an expression of anger* Screw you that was funny.

*Artemis rolled her eyes at her brother*

And before that,at my fourth-grade school,when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our whole class took an unplanned swim.

More laughter erupted

Hermes: okay this kid is Primed to be the Master of Dieaster

Apollo: Hades yeah * cue glare form you-know-who*

Everyone laughed even harder at Apollo's expression except Dionysus who was sleeping, and this didn't go unnoticed by Zeus

Zeus: Dionysus wake your Godly butt up!

No Response

Zeus kept doing this for several minutes until he made a loaf of wonder bread appear so he threw it at him, knocking Dionysus out of his throne and at the feet of Kronos, who smirked down at him while he groaned

And the time before that… well you get the idea.

This trip, was determined to be good

All the way into the city,I put up with Nancy Bobofit,the freckly,redheaded kleptomaniac girl,hitting my best friend grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.

Aphrodite,Demeter,Hera and Artemis all looked green,while the rest didn't look much better either.

Grover was an easy was cried when he got must've been held back several grades,because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his top of all that,he was crippled.

He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his walked funny,like every step hurt him,but don't let that fool should of seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.

Dionysus: SATYR! *Dionysus screamed*

Starling everyone then glared at him

Zeus: why did you scream like that Dionysus *glaring hardest*

Dionysus:its fun taking you guys by surprise * he said chuckling at the faces he was getting from the other gods*

Anyway,Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair,and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on headmaster threatened me with death by in-school suspension if anything bad,embarrassing or even mildy entertaining happened on this trip.

''Im going to Kill her, I mumbled

Ares: YEAH DO IT! BLOODSHED BLOODSHED BLODSHE….

Hera:ARES! SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP

Ares: someones on her period today *he mumbled but hera heard him and glared*

Grover tried to calm me down.''its okay I like peanut butter.''

Aphrodite: but not in your hair BLEH! *aphrosite shrieked*

Artemis:for once I agree with thousand year old Barbie

Aphrodite: aww see artemis sees…..hey wait a minute you insulted me

Artemis: gee Aphrodite what gave you that idea

Aphrodite glared at her until Hepheastus comforted her, while Ares glared at him

He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.

''That's it.'' I started to get up,but grover pulled me back to my seat

Ares: Damn it Satyr let him kick her ass!

Aphrodite looked appalled

Aphrodite: you would actually incourage him to hit a girl

Ares: hey she is picking on him, and throwing crap at him and she is the one who started the controversy so technically in his defense he would be showing self defense against her so there wouldn't be any wrong being done.

Kronos: are you sure you're a war god?

The Titans bursted out laughing along with a few Olympian gods, but Ares looked enraged

Ares: YES IM A FUCKING WAR GOD AND A DAMN GOOD ONE TOO AND AT LEAST I WASN'T CUT TO PIECES BY MY OWN SCYTHE BY MY OWN SON!

The Titans stopped laughing and stared glaring at Ares

Kronos looking like he was ready to murder him but not even Kronos could defy them at least not without paying the consequences.

Kronos: thank your lucky stars the fates forbade me from hurting any of you, other wise I would be ripping open your innerds, carving out your eyeballs, chopping off your toes and fingers, drilling a hole slowly across your brain, and then ripping out your tongue then grinding them up into meat and force feeding it to you. *he said still glaring at Ares for a low blow remark*

All of the Olympians Gulped, and Kronos noticed this and smirked

''Your already on probation,''he reminded me.''You know who'll get blamed if anything happens.''

Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.

Mr. Brunner led the museum tour

He rode up front in his wheel chair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries,past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.

It blew my mind that this stuff has survived for two thousand , three thousand years.

''HA! Way longer than that boy'' * Kronos and Zeus said at the same time and just stared at eachother*

He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top,and started telling us how it was a grave marker,a stele,for a girl about our told us about the carvings on the sides.I was trying to listen to what he had to say,because it was kind of interesting,but everybody around me was talking,and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone,Mrs Doodds,would give me the evil eye.

Hades: sounds like one of my…er nevermind

Zeus: one of your what Hades?

Hades: nothing ok lets just drop it

Zeus:do you know something brother? *he stared accusingly at hades*

Hades: NO NO NO AND NO!

Zeus: I will find out if you are *glaring at Hades who did the same right back*

was little little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket,even though she was fifty years looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker.

The Titans snickered

Kronos: sounds like something Atlas would do

Hyperion:Yeah or my son Helios the FIRST! Sun god * glaring at Apollo*

Iapetus: yeah my sons are wild and wreckless…that's what I love about them

Crius: excuse me but don't you think I would be more suited for…..

Hyperion:please Crius you can even open a jar of pickles by yourself with crying about how hard it is

Crius: Hey its not my fault they make them so Titans damn tight!

Kronos: somebody needs masculinity lessons*whispered to Oceanus who snickered behind his hand*

The Olympians watched in amusement as their Father and Uncles bickered and gossiped

She had come to Yancy halfway through the year when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.

From her first day, loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil would point her crooked finger at me and say, ''now,honey''real sweet,and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.

Hermes and Apollo Groaned

Hermes:ugh that sounds like torture

Apollo: you said it brother

Ares: you guys ae such Nerdy McAirheads

Hermes:oh yeah well you're a Idiot McDumbass

Ares:ooooh terrible insult im so hurt *sarcastically speaking*

Apollo: okay how about this a one eyed weasel with 3 balls, who just got a prostate exam from wolverine, and lurks in dark alleys fighting stray dogs for cold French fries because nobody likes him.

The Olympian council cracked up at that except Ares and Artemis who thought ' how is this dunce my brother'

Ares:that is so fucking funny not even insulting at all

Apollo: oh hot about this * snapped his fingers and ares seat rose to the tempture of the sun*/

Ares:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW! APOLLO! *He got up and chased Apollo out of the throne room*

Zeus waved to Hermes to continue reading

One time,after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight,I told Grover I didn't think was looked at me,real serious,and said,''You're Absolutely right''

kept talking about Greek funeral art.

Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele-

Dionysus: girls are always like that when theyre at that stage in life

Zeus looked at his son weirdly

Zeus:how would you know

Dionysus: you sent me down to earth to look after those brats

Every Olympian with kids glared at him

Dionysus sniffed

Dionysus:what?

And I turned around and said,''Will you shut up?''

It came out louder than I meant it to.

The whole group laughed. stopped his story. '' ,''he said, ''Did you have a comment?''

My face was totally red. I said, ''No, sir''

pointed to one of the pictures on the stele.''Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?''

Zeus,Poseidon,Hades,Hera and Demeter groaned knowing what it was a picture of

Kronos: hey it wasn't pleasant for me either so stop whining

They all glared at him

I looked at the carving,and felt a flush of relief,because I actually recognized it. '' That's Kronos eating his kids, right?''

Everyone involved in that incident shuddered

Poseidon:why did you eat us dad!

Kronos:I was trying to protect my reign, just like I know full well you all especially you*pointing his Scythe at Zeus* would.

Zeus: I wouldn't eat my Heirs and besides it hasn't happened and I did a much better job of preventing it than you did.

Hades: yeah I don't think eating your children resolves the matter cause I mean we were still alive when you ate us, and we were just bouncing around inside your stomach so you basically just gave us a Dark,warm place for us to get to know one another instead of killing us.

Demeter: I don't know where you guys were but I personally thought it was disgusting, I mean it was gooey everywhere* Demeter whined*

Hera: it was not cosy at all, it was dark smelly and really slimy * shudders more*

Hestia: I for one did not think that was a very smart way to preserve your throne father I think you could of made it so that we all could live but never to stage a coup, but you didn't and that's why you lost the war,your throne,your body,your power,and your reign, your didn't plan it out well enough, not saying I would of wanted you to rule but you just weren't a great dad and no child should every suffer the way we did.

Kronos stared at Hestia

Kronos: you really remind of your mother when you said that

Hestia blushed

Hestia: I am her daughter

The other children of Kronos stared at Hestia in shock, no one had ever been that way with Kronos before. I guess when your as nice as Hestia you tend to open your heart out and spread happiness.

''Yes,'' said,Obviously not satisfied.''and he did this because …''

''Well…'' I racked my brain to remember. ''Kronos was king god, and-''

Both Gods and Titans were angry at this

Kronos gritted his teeth

Kronos:DID THAT LITTLE CRETIN DARE CALL ME A GOD!

Hyperion:that is a huge mistake and he better than his lucky bucks hes not here right now

Oceanus: Like Kronos would ever sink down to the Levels of a God

Poseidon:and what is that supposed to mean Asswipe?

Oceanus turned to a glaring Poseidon and glared back

Oceanus: what I said Water Chicken

Zeus: ha! You wish you were as cool as us father

Kronos: im not in this to be cooler besides everyone knows im much more powerful than you all put together.

That's when Hades broke loose, Weapons out, Goddesses calling for peace, angry father staring down and angry son, Sun deities throwing fire balls and chasing eachother, Water fights between the water deites, until Hestia intervened

Hestia: STOP IT NOW!

Everyone stopped and looked at her

Hestia: the fates do not want you guys to fight, we are here to just read books now can we try and be calm and get through this without any problems?

Kronos and Zeus's glares softened

Zeus: I suppose we could but I doubt it will last long

Kronos: I have no doubt it wont last long

Everyone recomposed themselves

Hestia: now Hermes please continue

''God?'' asked?.

''Titan,'' I corrected myself. ''And … he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus,

Kronos' eyes when wide 'Rhea betrayed me'

Zeus smirked knowing what he was thinking

And gave Kronos a rock to eat later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad,Kronos into barfing up his brothers and sisters-''

Kronos growled and wanted to attack Zeus but his Brothers held him down,and the fates told him not to .

While The Olympians gave Zeus a silent thank you. While Zeus smirked at a struggling Kronos.

''Eeew!'' said one of the girls behind me.

Demeter,Hera and Hestia: Eww is right''

''-and so there this big fight between the gods and titans,'' I continued '' and the gods won''

The Titans looked outraged

Hyperion: How on earth can a bunch of petty pathetic nothings of deities ever win against war primed superior powered superbeings of the universe?

Oceanus: NOOOOOOOOOOO I CAN LOSE MY DOMAIN!

Zeus:Actually Oceanus you remained Neutral

Oceanus calmed down and smiled

Oceanus:oh ok

Meanwhile the other Titans glared at him

Iapetus: why don't you join the fight

Crius:yeah were your brothers

Coeus:yeah you would actually sit on the sidelines and watch your kin be demolished by Younger Generationals?

Kronos:well now that we know what will happen when we go back, I can change the course of the war *smiled evily until a noted floating to him*

Kronos,

Everything will go as planned you are not to disrupt the course of events and if you do you'll be sorry and beg to just be thrown into tartarus chopped up

Sincerely, The Fates.

Kronos Wailed in Outrage

Some snickers from the group.

Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend,''like were going to use this in real its going to say on our job applications, 'explain why Kronos ate his kids' ''

''and why Mr,Jackson,''Brunner said''to Paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question,does this matter in real life?''

''Busted.'' Grover muttered

''Shut up,'' Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.

At least Nancy got packed, .Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything had radar ears.

*Hermes:Cough*Horse ears*cough*

Zeus raised an eyebrow

I thought about his question,and I shrugged.''I don't know sir.''

''I see.'' looked disappointed.''well,half credit, .Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine,which made him disgorge his other five children,who,of course,being Immortal gods,had been been living and growing up completely undigested in the titans gods defeated their father,sliced him to pieces with his own Scythe,and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the that happy note,its time for .Dodds,would you lead us back outside?''

Demeter: umm in what Universe is that a happy note?

Athena: it is a metaphor tha-

Ares: okay we get it Athena its not what it seems,we don't need the Christmas Special (lol cause Christmas is tomorrow XD)

Athena glared at Ares

The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing eachother around and acting like doofuses.

Artemis rolled her eyes ' males'

Grover and I were about to follow when said,'' ''

I knew that was coming.

Apollo: hmmm he knew it was coming, maybe hes a legacy of me

Poseidon glared at him knowing that Percy is his son.

I told Grover to keep I turned toward . ''Sir?''

had this look that wouldn't let you go- intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything,

Athena: hes older than a thousand and he probably has seen everything….who knows *smiling cause she is fond of this Centaur*

''You must learn the answer to my question,'' told me

''About the Titans?''

''About real how your studies apply to it''

''Oh.''

''what you learn from me,'' he said ''is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson.''

I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.

''It's the best way to learn'' Ares and Athena stated at the same time, they looked at eachother and glared

I mean sure,it was kind of cool on tournament days,when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted:''What ho!'' and challenged us,sword point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who ever lived,amd their mother, and what god they worshipped.

The Olympians mouths were open

'I don't think even we could do that let alone kids' Athena thought

But expected me to be as good as everybody else,despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made about a C- in my life No-didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.

I mumbled something about trying harder,while took one long sad look at the stele,like he'd been at this girls funeral.

Demeter:probably had been

Aphrodite: its very depressing about how when we gods truly love someone of the mortal world and they love us but don't know were gods/goddesses its sad because as they die and never return to this world again while we Immortals resume life for all Eternity.

Athena:wow im inpressed Aphrodite, you actually know some big words there

Aphrodite glared at her

Aphrodite: of course I know words which words surprised you * still glaring*

Athena: lets see Immortals, Eternity,Resume,and Depressing

Aphrodite walked over and stepped on Athenas foot for mocking her

Athena: you little Bi-

Zeus: ATHENA!

Athena :sorry father *she grumbled*

He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.

The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along fifth avenue.

''BOOOOOORING!'' The Titans Chorused

Aphrodite: whats worng with fifth avenue *she glared at them

Kronos: I may not be from this time but even I know foot traffic would be boring

Dionysus: I agree

Zeus glared at his son

Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something,because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas.

We'd had massive snow storms,flooding,wildfires from lightning strikes,I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.

Oceanus: I can make those

Poseidon: really?

Oceanus:yes really you little sea dinch

Poseidon: oh you wanna know how big mine can get

Oceanus: Bring it on little god .ON!

Hurricane winds picked up in the throne room, Gusts of wind circling around both Oceanus and Poseidon making the procedures much more powerful coming from two sea Deities. Everyone was either hiding,gripping their thrones or being tossed in the air by the storn winds.

Zeus: ENOUGH!

Lightning came down on both Oceanus and Poseidon

Both:HEY!

Zeus:Continue reading * in a dangerously low voice*

Nobody else seemed to of the guys were pelting pigeons with lunchables Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse,and,of course wasn't seeing a thing.

Hades: mmmm….she really sounds familiar I cant put my finger on it

This of course didn't go unnoticed by Zeus

Zeus: anything you want to share brother

Hade: Nope *he said smirking making steam come out of Zeus' ears*

Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away form the others. We thought that maybe if we did that,everybody wouldn't know we were from that school –the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere

"Detention?'' Grover asked

"Nah" I said. "Not from Mr. Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean im not a genious."

Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said."Can I have our apple?"

Dionysus snickered

I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.

I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me,

Hera smiled then glared at her sons

Hera: any reason you two don't do that

Ares: Im the God of War,

Hephaestus: your threw me off a damn mountain

They said at the same time

Hera huffed and sat back in her throne

But she'd be disappointed too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.

The Goddesses smiled

parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ate celery while reading a paperback novel.a red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair,making it look like a motorized café table.

Hephaestus pondered about this

''Motorized café table, interesting'' then he took out a notepad and wrote the idea down smiling.

I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends- I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from tourists-and dumped her half eaten lunch in Grovers lap.

Dionysus: why that little….

Zeus: shut it Dionysus

Dionysus huffed and puffed then picked up a magazine

The Titans Laughed silently

"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange,as if somebody sprayed her face with liquid cheetos.

Aphrodite looked horrified

I tried to stay school counselor had told me a million times," count to ten, control your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A Wave roared in my ears.

Poseidon beamed with pride at his Son, though he thought 'why hadn't he talked about him earlier instead of letting everyone find out like this.'

I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew,Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"

materialized next to us.

Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see-"

"-the water-"

"-like it grabbed her-"

Zeus: POSEIDON YOU -

Poseidon: Shut up Zeus, don't you dare start lecturing me on how I broek the oath you broke it fist and you broke it twice so you have no right yelling at me over something hypercritical done by you.

Zeus and the others were speechless, while Hera fumed being reminded of the yet again infidelity of her Husband.

I didn't know what they were talking I knew what that I was in trouble again.

As soon as was sure poor Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the Museum gift shop,etc.,etc., turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eye, as if id done something she'd been waiting for all semester."Now, Honey-"

"I know," I grumbled. " A month erasing workbooks."

That wasn't the right thing to say.

Kronos snorted: No shit Sea ass

Poseidon glared at his father

.

Kronos: Never! *He snarled*

"Come with me." said.

"Wait!." Grover yelped. " It was me. I pushed her."

I stared at him,stunned.I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. scared Grover to death.

Hades mumbled: Shes not Thanatos but she can make your crap yourself * then he started chuckling*

Zeus looked over and glared 'something he isn't telling me, im gonan find out'

She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.

"I don't think so, ." she said

"But-"

"You-will-stay-here."

Grover looked at me desperately.

"its okay, man" I told him. "Thanks for trying."

"Honey," barked at me. "Now."

Nancy Bobofit smirked.

I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare.

Kronos: wow that must be scary if it came from a petty Seaman

All the Titans started laughing

Poseidon doused every Titan in water, and they started growling

Poseidon: I bet you didn't SEA that coming did you

The Olympians laughed

Then I turned to face , but she wasn't was standing at the museum entrance,way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.

How'd she get there so fast?

Hades eyes widened

Zeus noticed again and he couldn't take it anymore

Zeus: SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!

Hades: that's Alecto one of my furies

Everyone gasped

Poseidon: you…..sent…a fury…after…MY SON!

Hades: I don't know why but im sure the books will explain why

Poseidon glared at Hades

I have my moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, As if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.

I wasn't so sure.

I went after

Halfway up the steps,I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and ,like he wanted to noticed what was going on, but was absorbed in his novel.

Poseidon: Chiron needs to get his Horse ass with the program, my son is in danger and he's sitting being all driving miss daisy In the sunlight, when he should be weary of whats going on!

Hestia: patience brother, I know its hard to hear this part but lrt us find out what happens it may not be as bad as you think it is.

Poseidon grumbled something like: Better hope so…..horsy ass….stupid novels.

I looked back .Dodds had disappeared again .She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.

Okay, I thought. She's gonna make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.

Kronos: I doubt that

Hyperion:yeah if I was him I would of just like…fuck!

Iapetus: Haha Perion' cant follow through with his 'heroic response'

Crius: I would of brought a weapon with me , always….always have –

Zeus: SHUT UP!

Kronos: *his eyes flared gold* who do you think you are speaking to the king of the Titans and your Father like that BOY!

Zeus: I Zeus, The King of The Gods, and God of Thunder and lightning and the Supreme commander of the Army of Olympus are telling you to shut up * his eyes turned electric blue

Hyperion: there will be a time to settle your score but remember the fates messages Kronos

Kronos: I HATE THE FATES!

Suddenly the throne room got darker , the flames turned black and suddenly a portal opened up and three beautiful women clothed in cloth and jewels with eyes like lava lamps cane through

Zeus: who are you three

Suddenly they turned their heads toward Zeus

Annoym: . !

Suddenly every deity in the room got scared, never before have the fates paid a personal visit before

The Fate( now known) turned to Kronos and growled: you should be more careful with your words Kronos cause they may just might be your last *they gave him a glare so powerful it made even him flinch*

Kronos: argh!

The fates: you may not realize this Kronos but you are not the most powerful being in existence.

Kronos: what are talking about of course I am.

Fate #1: No your are not, you see there are being far older than you like the Master of the Universe Chaos , then Gaea your mother, then Typhon the Storm Giant,then Keto the Goddess of Sea Monsters. So do not think you are the most powerful cause if you don't watch your step you will be at the mercy of any of these Deities are we understood Kronos?

Kronos nodded his head

The Fates: ok then control yourself, consider this your first warning * they disappeared into the vortex of darkness*

Kronos: lets continue * shocked at the sudden visit by the fates*

But apparently that wasn't the plan.

I followed her deeper into the I finally caught up to her,we were back in the Greek and Roman section.

Except for us, the gallery was empty

Poseidon was chewing his fingernails and rocking back and forth ' please be alright, please be alright'

Mrs,Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.

Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. it's weird being alone with a teacher, especially . Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it…

Hades: probably knew that girl and didn't like her

Ares: No shit sherl…

*Hades immediately grabbed Ares throat and glared evily into his eyes*

Hades: go ahead Ares finish that sentence…..I DARE YOU *his voice violently calm

Ares: no no im good

Hades then realeased Ares and return to his seat, while Ares was trying to regain his posture and breathing normal.

''you've been giving us problems honey," she said

I did the safe thing. I said,"yes, Ma'am."

She tugged on her cuffs of her leather jacket."Did you really think you would get away with it?"

Demeter: Get away with what?

The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.

She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me

Hades snorted

Hades: WRONGO!

Athena: wrongo?

Hades: yeah haven't you seen that movie the Grinch, when the little girl asks him something he says wrongo, and its pretty catchy

Athena: ….ok?

I said,"I'll-I'll try harder,ma'am."

Thunder shook the building

Zeus: I must be mad about something

Poseidon: No shit

Hades: nice *fist bumps Poseidon

Zeus: hey I will have you know I can send your asses to Tartarus right now.

Hades: nuh-uh, Tartarus is in my territory so you'd have to get my permission, and my authorization

Poseidon leaned in towards Zeus

Poseidon: hey Zeus?

Zeus: what?

Poseidon:do you need some aloe vera?

Zeus: why the fuck would I need aloe vera

Poseidon: cause you just got BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNNNNED!

Apollo, Hermes, Ares, and Hephaestus laughed out loud while some goddesses gave a small chuckle,

'We are not fools Percy Jackson," said."It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."

I didn't know what she was talking about

All I could think was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room. Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on tom sawyer from the internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take my grade worse, they were going to make me read the book.

Athena: theres no harm in reading a book

Apollo: yeah well no harm ever came from opening a chest you remember how that went.

Artemis whacked him in the head

Apollo: ouch!

Artemis: that's from that movie The Mummy, you Dummy *rolling her eyes*

Athena glared at Apollo, who shunk back into his seat.

"Well?" she demanded

"Ma'am,I don't…"

"Your time is up," she hissed.

Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. she was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.

Poseidon turned into vapor and circled his throne

Demeter: is he okay?

Apollo: hmmm…*walks over and examines* hes apparently got PWI

"PWI?"

Apollo: Parent Worrying It is

"Oh"

Then things got even stranger.

,who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before,wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.

"What ho,percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.

lunged at me

With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a 's bronze sword,which he always used on tournament day.

spun towards me with a murderous look in her eyes.

My knees were hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.

Ares bursted out laughing ,but only long enough to not notice a stream of water hit his face from Poseidon

Ares: ARGGGGGGGH!

Poseidon: DON'T LAUGH AT MY SON HES NEW AT THIS WHOLE EXPERIENCE.

Ares: okay okay calm down.

She snarled, "die honey!"

And she flew straight at me.

Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.

Hera: that's not really a natural thing to do

Ares: no shit

Hera: watch your language my son

Ares sarcastically answered: Yes oh precious mommy , im sorry with all my heart

Hera didn't detect the sarcasm so she smiled, but Hephaestus did and laughed silently

The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of !

Poseidon re-formed and cheered along with everyone else including Ares

was a sand castle in a power exploded into yellow powder,Vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing eyes were still watching me.

I was alone.

There was a ballpoint pen in my hand

Dionysus:Still letting the mist affect is he, such a poor criter

Zeus: you were listening

Dionysus: warrrrre you toooking bout course ooooof I listrrrreeeeeeeen ing to rooooooooooooo!11

Zeus' was filled with rage

Zeus: DIONYSUS! YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING WINE AND I TOLD YOU SPECIFICALLY THAT WAS FORBIDDEN!

Dionysus: come on poops! Doont be slo harsh wish maaaaaaay!

Zeus:your right maybe you should be what your god of

Zeus snapped his fingers and Dionysus became a big vine of grapes

Dionysus muffled

Zeus: this is your punishment til I say OTHERWISE!

wasn't was there but me

My hands were still lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushroons or something.

Had I imagined the whole thing?

I went back outside.

It had started to rain.

Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his Bobofit was still standing there,soaked from her swim in the fountain,grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope whipped your butt."

I said, " Who?"

"Our !"

I had no teacher named .I asked Nancy what she was talking about.

She just rolling her eyes and turned away.

I asked Grover where was.

He said,"Who?"

But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.

"Not funny, man" I told him."This is serious."

Thunder boomed overhead

Zeus: wow I must be really mad

A muffled laugh came from the vine known as Dionysus, and Zeus glared at it/him

I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.

I went over to him

He looked up, a little distracted."Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."

I handed Mr. Brunner his pen.I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.

"Sir," I said, "Where's Mrs. Dodds?"

He stared at me blankly." Who ?"

" The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-Algebra teacher."

He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling alright?"

Hermes: Phew, done finally

Apollo: that was rather a long chapter, and the first no less!

Kronos: I don't why we have to read these, i mean this is ridiculous , me the King of the Titans and most Combat experienced Warrior on this Earth, being forced to be reading with my Bastard children.

Zeus: yeah well we don't like it any better than you do

Kronos: mmmhmmm sure

Athena: lets start the next chapter shall we?

Hyperion: Hold on, lets take a break im a little sore on my ass

Ares: that's cause you were sitting on it all day moron

That flared Hyperion up

Hyperion: QUIET YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A WAR GOD!

Ares stood up in full armor

Ares:WHAT DID YOU SAY!

Hyperion got in Ares face

Hyperion: I DIDN'T STUDDER I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A WAR GOD!

Zeus: SHUT UP! *The room rattled* you *Hyperion* back to your seat and you * Ares sit on your throne and stay there*. Now we will continue reading.

Hermes: who wants to read next

Athena: I will *Hermes hands her the book*


	3. Chapter 3

**Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death**

Hyperion: wow lamest title ever!

'Oceanus: be quiet brother

Poseidon: I hope he doesn't mean…..them

Zeus eyed Poseidon

Zeus:Read and lets find out

"

**Campus seemed to be playing some kind of trick on me. The students acted as if they were completely and totally convinced that Mrs. Kerr - a perky blond woman whom I'd never seen in my life until she got on our bus at the end of the field trip - had been our pre-algebra teacher since Christmas.**

Athena: still letting Mist affect him

Apollo: well how would you be if you saw what happened, and people were trying to convince you otherwise

Athena: well first of all I wouldn't know, second of all it wouldn't affect me that long.

Apollo: okay if you say so****

**Every so often I would spring a Mrs. Dodds reference on somebody, just to see if I could trip them up, but they would stare at me like I was psycho.******

**It got so I almost believed them - Mrs. Dodds had never existed.******

**Almost.**

Almost every one Groaned****

**But Grover couldn't fool me. When I mentioned the name Dodds to him, he would hesitate, then claim she didn't exist. But I knew he was lying.****  
**

Zeus: I knew that Satyr was good for nothing

Hera: sweety, give him a chance

Zeus: fine

Kronos looked at the two children King and Queen

Kronos whispered to the Titans: reminds me of me and Rhea

The Titans snickered  
**Something was going on. Something had happened at the museum.******

**I didn't have much time to think about it during the days, but at night, visions of Mrs. Dodds with talons and leathery wings would wake me up in a cold sweat.******

**The freak weather continued, which didn't help my mood. One night, a thunderstorm blew out the****windows in****my dorm room. A few days later, the biggest tornado ever spotted in the HudsonValley touched down only fifty miles from YancyAcademy. One of the current events we studied in social studies class was the unusual number of small planes that had gone down in sudden squalls in the Atlantic that year.**

"What in Hades….*said god glare* heck is going on with you two" Hermes asked

Zeus and Poseidon looked at eachother

****

**I started feeling cranky and irritable most of the time. My grades slipped from Ds to Fs. I got into more fights with Nancy Bobofit and her friends. I was sent out into the hallway in almost every class.******

**Finally, when our English teacher, Mr. Nicoll, asked me for the millionth time why I was too lazy to study for spelling tests, I snapped. I called him an old sot. I wasn't even sure what it meant, but it sounded good.******

**The headmaster sent my mom a letter the following week, making it official: I would not be invited back next year to Yancy Academy.******

**Fine, I told myself. Just fine.******

**I was homesick.**

"Awww" The Goddesses cooed

Hera: he misses his mother

'Maybe this boy isn't bad' Artemis thought

****

**I wanted to be with my mom in our little apartment on the Upper East Side, even if I had to go to public school and put up with my obnoxious stepfather and his stupid poker parties.******

**And yet... there were things I'd miss at Yancy. The view of the woods out my dorm window, the Hudson River in the distance, the smell of pine trees. I'd miss Grover, who'd been a good friend, even if he was a little strange. I worried how he'd survive next year without me.**

Zeus: stupid Satyr wouldn't be there if you weren't

Hera rolled her eyes  
**  
****I'd miss Latin class, too - Mr. Brunner's crazy tournament days and his faith that I could do well.******

**As exam week got closer, Latin was the only test I studied for. I hadn't forgotten what Mr. Brunner had told me about this subject being life-and-death for me. I wasn't sure why, but I'd started to believe him.**

"That's a good" Demeter said**  
**

Hades rolled his eyes at her**  
****The evening before my final, I got so frustrated I threw the Cambridge Guide to Greek Mythology across my dorm room. Words had started swimming off the page, circling my head, the letters doing one-eighties as if they were riding skateboards. There was no way I was going to remember the difference between Chiron and Charon, or Polydictes and Polydeuces. And conjugating those Latin verbs? Forget it.**

Athena: that's so easy I could-

Ares: yes yes you could get it , you're the freaking GODDESS OF WISDOM OF COURSE YOU'LL BE ABLE TO GET IT NOW SHUT UP!

Athena glared at Ares

While everyone was hiding their snickers

Zeus:ENOUGH! READ!  
**  
****I paced the room, feeling like ants were crawling around inside my shirt.******

**I remembered Mr. Brunner's serious expression, his thousand-year-old eyes. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson.******

**I took a deep breath. I picked up the mythology book.******

**I'd never asked a teacher for help before. Maybe if I talked to Mr. Brunner, he could give me some pointers. At least I could apologize for the big fat F I was about to score on his exam. I didn't want to leave YancyAcademy with him thinking I hadn't tried.******

**I walked downstairs to the faculty offices. Most of them were dark and empty, but Mr. Brunner's door was ajar, light from his window stretching across the hallway floor.******

**I was three steps from the door handle when I heard voices inside the office. **

Apollo:500 Drachies he eavesdrops

Hermes: I will weigh in to that

Apollo and Hermes bet putting their Wagers in a pile, waiting for the outcome.

**Mr. Brunner asked a question. A voice that was definitely Grover's said "... worried about Percy, sir."******

**I froze.******

**I'm not usually an eavesdropper, but I dare you to try not listening if you hear your best friend talking about you to an adult.****  
**

Apollo:HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! PAY UP SUCKER!

Hermes groaned as Apollo collected his money

**I inched closer.******

**"... alone this summer," Grover was saying. "I mean, a Kindly One in the school! Now that we know for sure, and they know too - "******

**"We would only make matters worse by rushing him," Mr. Brunner said. "We need the boy to mature more."******

**"But he may not have time. The summer solstice deadline - "**

"Whats gonna happen at the Solstice? Artemis asked

I don't know, let me read and we will find out"

**"Will have to be resolved without him, Grover. Let him enjoy his ignorance while he still can."******

**"Sir, he saw her... ."******

**"His imagination," Mr. Brunner insisted. "The Mist over the students and staff will be enough to convince him of that."******

**"Sir, I ... I can't fail in my duties again." Grover's voice was choked with emotion. "You know what that would mean."******

**"You haven't failed, Grover," Mr. Brunner said kindly. "I should have seen her for what she was. Now let's just worry about keeping Percy alive until next fall - "******

**The mythology book dropped out of my hand and hit the floor with a thud.**

Hermes cried out: Awwwww you never give your position away

Zeus: Shut up Hermes!**  
****Mr. Brunner went silent.******

**My heart hammering, I picked up the book and backed down the hall.******

**A shadow slid across the lighted glass of Brunner's office door, the shadow of something much taller than my wheelchair-bound teacher, holding something that looked suspiciously like an archer's bow.**

Poseidon: Why is he in his Centaur form?

No reply  
**I opened the nearest door and slipped inside.**

Hermes: good get to safety one of the most important things after giving yourself away**  
****A few seconds later I heard a slow clop-clop-clop, like muffled wood blocks, then a sound like an animal snuffling right outside my door. A large, dark shape paused in front of the glass, then moved on.******

**A bead of sweat trickled down my neck.******

**Somewhere in the hallway, Mr. Brunner spoke. "Nothing," he murmured. "My nerves haven't been right since the winter solstice."**

Athena: I wonder what happened at the Solstice?

Demeter: must have been bad

Hades: what Solstices have you been to that haven't been bad?

Demeter glared

Demeter: im just saying that maybe its different this time!****

**"Mine neither," Grover said. "But I could have sworn ..."******

**"Go back to the dorm," Mr. Brunner told him. "You've got a long day of exams tomorrow."****  
**

Coeus: Exams?

Athena: a Future thing, don't worry about it

The Olympians Snickered

******"Don't remind me."**

Everybody snorted****

**The lights went out in Mr. Brunner's office.******

**I waited in the dark for what seemed like forever.******

**Finally, I slipped out into the hallway and made my way back up to the dorm.******

**Grover was lying on his bed, studying his Latin exam notes like he'd been there all night.**

**"Hey," he said, bleary-eyed. "You going to be ready for this test?"******

**I didn't answer.******

**"You look awful." He frowned. "Is everything okay?"******

**"Just... tired."******

**I turned so he couldn't read my expression,**

Dionysus: Not gonna work, Satyrs can read expressions

Zeus: How did you get out of there!

Dionysus: im the God of Wine and The Grapevine

Zeus rolled his eyes

**and started getting ready for bed.******

**I didn't understand what I'd heard downstairs. I wanted to believe I'd imagined the whole thing.******

**But one thing was clear: Grover and Mr. Brunner were talking about me behind my back. They thought I was in some kind of danger.******

**The next afternoon, as I was leaving the three-hour Latin exam, my eyes swimming with all the Greek and Roman names I'd misspelled, Mr. Brunner called me back inside.**

******For a moment, I was worried he'd found out about my eavesdropping the night before, but that didn't seem to be the problem.******

**"Percy," he said. "Don't be discouraged about leaving Yancy. It's ... it's for the best."******

**His tone was kind, but the words still embarrassed me. Even though he was speaking quietly, the other kids finishing the test could hear. Nancy Bobofit smirked at me and made sarcastic little kissing motions with her lips.****  
**

Demeter: That Nasty little girl sickens me

Apollo: especially since she has liquid cheetos on her face ahahahahah

******I mumbled, "Okay, sir."******

**"I mean ..." Mr. Brunner wheeled his chair back and forth, like he wasn't sure what to say. "This isn't the right place for you. It was only a matter of time."**

**My eyes stung.****  
**

The Goddesses Cooed sadly and the gods were snickering sliently**  
**

**Here was my favorite teacher, in front of the class, telling me I couldn't handle it. After saying he believed in me all year, now he was telling me I was destined to get kicked out.******

**"Right," I said, trembling.******

**"No, no," Mr. Brunner said. "Oh, confound it all. What I'm trying to say ... you're not normal, Percy. That's nothing to be - "******

**"Thanks," I blurted. "Thanks a lot, sir, for reminding me."******

**"Percy - "******

**But I was already gone.****  
**

"DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN!" Apollo and Hermes shouted, scaring everyone**  
**

**On the last day of the term, I shoved my clothes into my suitcase.******

**The other guys were joking around, talking about their vacation plans. One of them was going on a hiking trip to Switzerland. Another was cruising the Caribbean for a month. They were juvenile delinquents, like me, but they were rich juvenile delinquents. Their daddies were executives, or ambassadors, or celebrities. I was a nobody, from a family of nobodies.****  
**

Everybody was offended

Zeus: WE ARE NOT NOBODIES!

Ares: I WILL CREAM THAT PUNK

Artemis: Boys!

Kronos: well were their grandfathers and Uncles so it has less affect on us

Hestia: calm down, he doesn't know about us yet

Everyone obeyed Hestia, she was truly the peacekeeper of Olympus

**They asked me what I'd be doing this summer and I told them I was going back to the city.******

**What I didn't tell them was that I'd have to get a summer job walking dogs or selling magazine subscriptions, and spend my free time worrying about where I'd go to school in the fall.******

**"Oh," one of the guys said. "That's cool."******

**They went back to their conversation as if I'd never existed.**

**Aphrodite: Rude! …..RUDE!**

******The only person I dreaded saying good-bye to was Grover, but as it turned out, I didn't have to. He'd booked a ticket to Manhattan on the same Greyhound as I had, so there we were, together again, heading into the city.****  
**

Dionysus: Coincedence much

Zeus glared just because Dionysus got out of his Prison vine**  
****During the whole bus ride, Grover kept glancing nervously down the aisle, watching the other passengers. It occurred to me that he'd always acted nervous and fidgety when we left Yancy, as if he expected something bad to happen. Before, I'd always assumed he was worried about getting teased. But there was nobody to tease him on the Greyhound.******

**Finally I couldn't stand it anymore.******

**I said, "Looking for Kindly Ones?"****  
**

Hyperion said :Probably scared the crap out him 

**Grover nearly jumped out of his seat. "Wha - what do you mean?"**

Hyperion: Boosh! Told you suckers!* he said smiling victoriously:

Kronos:No one disagreed with you

**I confessed about eavesdropping on him and Mr. Brunner the night before the exam.******

**Grover's eye twitched. "How much did you hear?"******

**"Oh ... not much. What's the summer solstice dead-line?"******

**He winced. "Look, Percy ... I was just worried for you, see? I mean, hallucinating about demon math teachers ..."******

**"Grover - "******

**"And I was telling Mr. Brunner that maybe you were overstressed or something, because there was no such person as Mrs. Dodds, and ..."******

**"Grover, you're a really, really bad liar."****  
**

Zeus: ill say

Hera whacked him in the back of his head, Kronos snickered

******His ears turned pink.******

**From his shirt pocket, he fished out a grubby business card. "Just take this, okay? In case you need me this summer.******

**The card was in fancy script, which was murder on my dyslexic eyes, but I finally made out something like:******

**Grover Underwood******

**Keeper******

**Half-Blood Hill******

**Long Island, New York******

**(800) 009-0009**

Zeus: You better change those Dionysus

Dionysus: fine I will

Zeus eyed Dionysus suspiciously****

**"What's Half - "******

**"Don't say it aloud!" he yelped. "That's my, um ... summer address."******

**My heart sank. Grover had a summer home. I'd never considered that his family might be as rich as the others at Yancy.**

******"Okay," I said glumly. "So, like, if I want to come visit your mansion."******

**He nodded. "Or ... or if you need me."******

**"Why would I need you?"**

Hermes: OUCH! HAHAHAHHA

Athena smacked his head and then glared  
**  
****It came out harsher than I meant it to.******

**Grover blushed right down to his Adam's apple. "Look, Percy, the truth is, I - I kind of have to protect you."******

**I stared at him.******

**All year long, I'd gotten in fights, keeping bullies away from him. I'd lost sleep worrying that he'd get beaten up next year without me. And here he was acting like he was the one who defended me.******

**"Grover," I said, "what exactly are you protecting me from?"**

Zeus:Every living thing that was around before us

Kronos: Me,Hyperion,Atlas,Crius,Coeus,Oceanus* if he gets his lazy ass out of bed* Epimetheus-

Coeus:wait what about Prometheus

Kronos growled

Kronos: that man is the worst fucking excuse for a titan I have ever seen!

Everybody sat quietly and scared except for Zeus and the other big three gods.

Kronos: now as I was saying, Hellhounds, Dracaenae, My large Colassal Serpent * hermes and Apollo snickered at that* that my brother Oceanus locked away Millenia ago waiting to fight the enemy.

Oceanus: also Keto, Pontus, Hydros,Aigios-

Kronos: so this boy has a huge wave of hurt coming his way if he thinks were gonna back down

All the Titans laughed, until thunder boomed in the Throne room

Zeus: LETS CONTINUE!

**There was a huge grinding noise under our feet. Black smoke poured from the dashboard and the whole bus filled with a smell like rotten eggs.**

Everyone of the Deities in the room frowned in disgust, except the Titans who didn't know what Rotten Eggs were

**The driver cursed and limped the Greyhound over to the side of the highway.******

**After a few minutes clanking around in the engine compartment, the driver announced that we'd all have to get off. Grover and I filed outside with everybody else.******

**We were on a stretch of country road - no place you'd notice if you didn't break down there. On our side of the highway was nothing but maple trees and litter from passing cars. On the other side, across four lanes of asphalt shimmering with afternoon heat, was an old-fashioned fruit stand.**

Demeter yelped with glee, while Hades rolled his eyes****

**The stuff on sale looked really good: heaping boxes of bloodred cherries and apples, walnuts and apricots, jugs of cider in a claw-foot tub full of ice. There were no customers, just three old ladies sitting in rocking chairs in the shade of a maple tree, knitting the biggest pair of socks I'd ever seen.**

Everyone's eye were widened

"how is he still alive" many people said stunned like everyone else

Kronos:The fates , that boy saw the fates, well so much for living

He laughed, until a huge icicle hit his face, in which he bellowed in anger looking toward Poseidon who's body was glowing blueish green as a warning.

****

**I mean these socks were the size of sweaters, but they were clearly socks. The lady on the right knitted one of them. The lady on the left knitted the other. The lady in the middle held an enormous basket of electric-blue yarn.**

Gasps were heard all around the room****

**All three women looked ancient, with pale faces wrinkled like fruit leather, silver hair tied back in white bandannas, bony arms sticking out of bleached cotton dresses.**

The Titans looked confused 'That's not what the fates look like'****

**The weirdest thing was, they seemed to be looking right at me.******

**I looked over at Grover to say something about this and saw that the blood had drained from his face. His nose was twitching.******

**"Grover?" I said. "Hey, man - "******

**"Tell me they're not looking at you. They are, aren't they?"******

**"Yeah. Weird, huh? You think those socks would fit me?"******

**"Not funny, Percy. Not funny at all."******

**The old lady in the middle took out a huge pair of scissors - gold and silver, long-bladed, like shears. I heard Grover catch his breath.******

**"We're getting on the bus," he told me. "Come on."******

**"What?" I said. "It's a thousand degrees in there."****  
**

Kronos" as much as I hate to say this, and by barely knowing this boy, he should listen to the friend.

The Olympians were shocked

While the Titans who knew him, knew he had a soft spot depending on the gravity and mettle of the situation, while The Olympians just looked at him

Zeus: since when did this helpful side come to you father?

Hades: yeah, as long as weve know you, you've been totally Aggressive,power hungry, and selfish.

The Titans just smirked

Hyperion: Aggressive you say *smirking

Coeus: Power hungry huh? *smiling evily*

Iapetus: Selfish our we? *almost bursting out laughing

The Olympians: YES!

Kronos: well then it seems that whatever the Olympians say goes…Oh wait No it doesn't

Kronos and the Titans laughed hysterically

The Olympians rolled their eyes  
**"Come on!'" He pried open the door and climbed inside, but I stayed back.******

**Across the road, the old ladies were still watching me. The middle one cut the yarn, and I swear I could hear that snip across four lanes of traffic. Her two friends balled up the electric-blue socks, leaving me wondering who they could possibly be for - Sasquatch or Godzilla.******

**At the rear of the bus, the driver wrenched a big chunk of smoking metal out of the engine compartment. The bus shuddered, and the engine roared back to life.**

Everyone let out breaths, especially Poseidon****

**The passengers cheered.******

**"Darn right!" yelled the driver. He slapped the bus with his hat. "Everybody back on board!"******

**Once we got going, I started feeling feverish, as if I'd caught the flu.******

**Grover didn't look much better. He was shivering and his teeth were chattering.******

**"Grover?"******

**"Yeah?"******

**"What are you not telling me?"**

Hyperion: EVERYTHING!

Poseidon: SHUT IT!

**He dabbed his forehead with his shirt sleeve. "Percy, what did you see back at the fruit stand?"******

**"You mean the old ladies? What is it about them, man? They're not like ... Mrs. Dodds, are they?"**

Kronos" oh no they are far worse, believe me I know

Hyperion: I thought it was funny**  
**

Kronos glared at his brother**  
**

**His expression was hard to read, but I got the feeling that the fruit-stand ladies were something much, much worse than Mrs. Dodds. He said, "Just tell me what you saw."******

**"The middle one took out her scissors, and she cut the yarn."**

Poseidon took a deep breath for 12 seconds then released it, please let him be okay.  
**  
****He closed his eyes and made a gesture with his fingers that might've been crossing himself, but it wasn't. It was something else, something almost - older.******

**He said, "You saw her snip the cord."******

**"Yeah. So?" But even as I said it, I knew it was a big deal.****  
**Kronos: it's a HUGE DEAL!

Zeus glared at his father

Kronos: tell me im wrong boy!

Zeus signaled to read, while Kronos smirked triumphant

******"This is not happening," Grover mumbled. He started chewing at his thumb. "I don't want this to be like the last time."******

**"What last time?"******

**"Always sixth grade. They never get past sixth."******

**"Grover," I said, because he was really starting to scare me. "What are you talking about?"******

**"Let me walk you home from the bus station. Promise me."******

**This seemed like a strange****request****to me, but I promised he could.******

**"Is this like a superstition or something?" I asked.******

**No answer.******

**"Grover - that snipping of the yarn. Does that mean somebody is going to die?"******

**He looked at me mournfully, like he was already picking the kind of flowers I'd like best on my coffin.**

Done whos next

Demeter: ME ME ME ME GIMME GIMME GIMME * she snatched the booked

And read.


	4. Chapter 4

**Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Pants**

Before Demeter could read there were 2 flashes of light and 2 more Titans appeared

Prometheus and Epimetheus

Kronos growled at Prometheus

Epimetheus: what….what are we doing here

Prometheus: we are here to read books about a hero from far beyond our time in the future…..Correct?

The Olympians nodded

A note came down to Kronos

_Remember what we said about your temper Kronos_

_The fates_

Kronos: ugh!

Hades, Poseidon and Zeus laughed

Demeter cleared her throat

Demeter: can I read now

Everyone nodded, while the two sons of Iapetus sat on either side of their father

**Confession time: I ditched Grover as soon as we got to the****bus terminal******

**I know, I know. It was rude. But Grover was freaking me out, looking at me like I was a dead man, muttering "Why does this always happen?" and "Why does it always have to he****sixth grade****?"******

**Whenever he got upset, Grover's bladder acted up, so I wasn't surprised when, as soon as we got off the bus, he made me promise to wait for him, then made a beeline for the restroom. Instead of waiting, I got my suitcase, slipped outside, and caught the first taxi uptown.******

**"East One-hundred-and-fourth and First," I told the driver.******

**A word about my mother, before you meet her.**

Poseidon day dreamed or looked like it while everyone else looked at him like a kid In a toy store laughing out loud**  
**

Poseidon: Sally is wonderful, truly a blessing and a Queen among mortals

******Her name is Sally Jackson and she's the best person in the world, which just proves my theory that the best people have the rottenest luck. Her own parents died in a ****plane crash ****when she was five, and she was raised by an uncle who didn't care much about her. She wanted to be a novelist, so she spent high school working to save enough money for a ****college****with a good creative-writing program. Then her uncle got cancer, and she had to quit school her**** senior****year to take care of him. After he died, she was left with no money, no family, and no diploma.**

Athena:poor woman, I will help her get her career path on track and see to that she gets an education and the proper teaching of the field of craft she desires.

Poseidon looked at Athena flabbergasted but was grateful all together****

**The only good break she ever got was meeting my dad.**

Aphrodite squealed

Kronos: say do I know you?

Aphrodite: unlikely i-

Kronos: I do know you! Your that Creature that spawned from what was left of my father Uranus when I castrated him!

Aphrodite: yes yes that is me but how would you know, I wasn't even around you guys when the Titans still ruled, and fyi I am not a creature im a Beautiful being the only Goddess to be born without a mother.

Kronos: you were off the coast of Cyprus, near those weird looking rock cliffs, I knew about you

Aphrodite was about to respond when Demeter chucked a rock at Kronos and Aphrodite who both glared at her

Demeter: if you two are done I'D LIKE TO KEEP READING!  
**  
****I don't have any memories of him, just this sort of warm glow, maybe the barest trace of his smile. My mom doesn't like to talk about him because it makes her sad. She has no pictures.******

**See, they weren't married. She told me he was rich and important, and their relationship was a secret. Then one day, he set sail across the Atlantic on some important journey, and he never came back.******

**Lost at sea, my mom told me. Not dead. Lost at sea.**

Hermes: impressive, not a lie but not truth either

****

**She worked odd jobs, took****night classes****to get her****high school diploma****, and raised me on her own. She never complained or got mad. Not even once. But I knew I wasn't an easy kid.******

**Finally, she married Gabe Ugliano, who was nice the first thirty seconds we knew him, then showed his true colors as a world-class jerk. When I was young, I nicknamed him Smelly Gabe. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. The guy reeked like moldy garlic pizza wrapped in gym shorts.**

Cue foghorn sound

Everyone scrunched their noses

**Between the two of us, we made my mom's life pretty hard. The way Smelly Gabe treated her, the way he and I got along ... well, when I came home is a good example.******

**I walked into our little apartment, hoping my mom would be home from work. Instead, Smelly Gabe was in the**** living room****, playing poker with his buddies. The television blared ESPN. Chips and beer cans were strewn all over the carpet.****  
**

Hera: WHAT A PIG!

Artemis: Don't insult pigs

Athena: that man is a lazy ass garbage ransacor

Everyone snickered

******Hardly looking up, he said around his cigar, "So, you're home."******

**"Where's my mom?"******

**"Working," he said. "You got any cash?"**

Prometheus: that mortal man just asked his son-

Poseidon: step son

Prometheus: step son for…..cash? whats cash?

Athena: the human version of Drachmas

Epimetheus: ugh why on earth would he ask a little kid for cash drachmas thingies?

Artemis: cause hes a man and that's what they do

All the male Titans and Gods glared at her

Kronos: I beg your pardon?

Artemis: you heard me

Kronos got up and walked up to artemis

Kronos: no I didn't, say it again

Apollo: get away from my sister Kronos

Kronos snapped at him, Apollo sneered back

Kronos: SHUT IT SUN DWEEB!

Hyperion:Hey! You do know im a Sun deity too.

Kronos: okay Sun god dweeb

Artemis: get away from me, sit back down so we can read

Kronos: if you ever put me In the same category as all the males you think are inferior again, I will strip you of your skin, gut you, scale you, and have a happy Goddess BBQ feast in my Throne room on Othrys!

And with that Kronos made his way back to his seat.**  
****That was it. No Welcome back. Good to see you. How has your life been the last six months?******

**Gabe had put on weight. He looked like a tuskless walrus in thrift-store clothes. He had about three hairs on his head, all combed over his bald scalp, as if that made him handsome or something.**

Aphrodite: not even I could fix that, and im the love goddess

Iapetus whispered: do you want a prize or something

But unfortunetly the goddess heard him and glared

**He managed the Electronics Mega-Mart in Queens, but he stayed home most of the time. I don't know why he hadn't been fired long before. He just kept on collecting paychecks, spending the money on cigars that made me nauseous, and on beer, of course. Always beer. Whenever I was home, he expected me to provide his gambling funds. He called that our "guy secret." Meaning, if I told my mom, he would punch my lights out.******

**"I don't have any cash," I told him.******

**He raised a greasy eyebrow.******

**Gabe could sniff out money like a bloodhound, which was surprising, since his own smell should've covered up everything else.******

**"You took a taxi from the bus station," he said. Probably paid with a twenty. Got six, seven bucks in change. Somebody expects to live under this roof, he ought to carry his own weight. Am I right, Eddie?"******

**Eddie, the super of the apartment building, looked at me with a twinge of sympathy. "Come on, Gabe," he said. "The kid just got here."**

Hera: at least someone is decently behaved there****

**"Am I right?" Gabe repeated.******

**Eddie scowled into his bowl of pretzels. The other two guys passed gas in harmony.**

Apollo and Hermes laughed

Whiles the Goddesses looked sickly green 

Hera: those two men need manners and eticquet ( idk how to spell it so, I hope I spelled it right)**  
****"Fine," I said. I dug a wad of dollars out of my pocket and threw the money on the table. "I hope you lose."******

**"Your report card came, brain boy!" he shouted after me. "I wouldn't act so snooty!"**

Poseidon: shut up! You big fat tuskless walrus filthy McNasty!****

**I slammed the door to my room, which really wasn't my room. During school months, it was Gabe's "study." He didn't study anything in there except old car magazines, but he loved shoving my stuff in the closet, leaving his muddy boots on my windowsill, and doing his best to make the place smell like his nasty cologne and cigars and stale beer.**

The goddesses gagged

The gods cringed

The Titans watched on amused by their reactions

**I dropped my suitcase on the bed. Home sweet home.******

**Gabe's smell was almost worse than the nightmares about Mrs. Dodds, or the sound of that old fruit lady's shears snipping the yarn.**

Demeter: he must be filthy, if those things seem less bad than the man

Hera, Aphrodite and Athena Agreed, Artemis stayed silent grumbling about men being dirty scum

**But as soon as I thought that, my legs felt weak. I remembered Grover's look of panic - how he'd made me promise I wouldn't go home without him. A sudden chill rolled through me. I felt like someone - something - was looking for me right now, maybe pounding its way up the stairs, growing long, horrible talons.******

**Then I heard my mom's voice. "Percy?"**

Poseidon let out a breath, and sighed in relief****

**She opened the bedroom door, and my fears melted.******

**My mother can make me feel good just by walking into the room. Her eyes sparkle and change color in the light. Her smile is as warm as a quilt. She's got a few gray streaks mixed in with her long brown hair, but I never think of her as old. When she looks at me, it's like she's seeing all the good things about me, none of the bad. I've never heard her raise her voice or say an unkind word to anyone, not even me or Gabe.******

**"Oh, Percy." She hugged me tight. "I can't believe it. You've grown since Christmas!"******

**Her red-white-and-blue Sweet on America uniform smelled like the best things in the world: chocolate, licorice, and all the other stuff she sold at the candy shop in Grand Central. She'd brought me a huge bag of "free samples," the way she always did when I came home.******

**We sat together on the edge of the bed. While I attacked the blueberry sour strings, she ran her hand through my hair and demanded to know everything I hadn't put in my letters. She didn't mention anything about my getting expelled. She didn't seem to care about that. But was I okay? Was her little boy doing all right?**

Ares snickered ' mama's boy' he thought****

**I told her she was smothering me, and to lay off and all that, but secretly, I was really, really glad to see her.******

**From the other room, Gabe yelled, "Hey, Sally - how about some bean dip, huh?"****  
**

Everyone except the Titans gritted their teeth

******I gritted my teeth.**

The Titans laughed so hard some fell out of their seats****

**My mom is the nicest lady in the world. She should've been married to a millionaire, not to some jerk like Gabe.******

**For her sake, I tried to sound upbeat about my last days at YancyAcademy. I told her I wasn't too down about the expulsion. I'd lasted almost the whole year this time. I'd made some new friends. I'd done pretty well in Latin. And honestly, the fights hadn't been as bad as the headmaster said. I liked YancyAcademy. I really did. I put such a good spin on the year, I almost convinced myself. I started choking up, thinking about Grover and Mr. Brunner. Even Nancy Bobofit suddenly didn't seem so bad.******

**Until that trip to the museum ...******

**"What?" my mom asked. Her eyes tugged at my conscience, trying to pull out the secrets. "Did something scare you?"******

**"No, Mom."**

Hera: don't lie to your mother *glaring at the book*****

**I felt bad lying. I wanted to tell her about Mrs. Dodds and the three old ladies with the yarn, but I thought it would sound stupid.**

Poseidon: no it wouldn't son, she would understand

Hestia: I don't think he knows that she knows about who the Gods and the camp brother.

Some people jumped, she was so silent for so long people thought she wasn't there

**She pursed her lips. She knew I was holding back, but she didn't push me.**

"I have a surprise for you," she said. "We're going to the beach."

My eyes widened. "Montauk?"

"Three nights - same cabin."

"When?"

She smiled. "As soon as I get changed."

I couldn't believe it. My mom and I hadn't been to Montauk the last two summers, because Gabe said there wasn't enough money.

Poseidon growled****

Gabe appeared in the doorway and growled, "Bean dip, Sally? Didn't you hear me?"  


Poseidon: SCREW YOUR F**KING BEAN DIP FAT ASS WALRUS BOY!

Zeus: POSEIDON! SIT DOWN!

Poseidon obeyed his younger brother, while he didn't noticed his father smirking at him.

**I wanted to punch him, but I met my mom's eyes and I understood she was offering me a deal: be nice to Gabe for a little while. Just until she was ready to leave for Montauk. Then we would get out of here.**

"I was on my way, honey," she told Gabe. "We were just talking about the trip."

Gabe's eyes got small. "The trip? You mean you were serious about that?"

"I knew it," I muttered. "He won't let us go."

"Of course he will," my mom said evenly. "Your stepfather is just worried about money. That's all. Besides," she added, "Gabriel won't have to settle for bean dip. I'll make him enough seven-layer dip for the whole weekend. Guacamole. Sour cream. The works."

Gabe softened a bit. "So this money for your trip ... it comes out of your clothes budget, right?"  


Aphrodite: WHAT! SHE HAS A CLOTHES BUDGET *she screamed m then she fainted

Zeus: put her back in her seat guys

Apollo and Ares grabbed her and sat her back In her throne**  
**

**"Yes, honey," my mother said.**

"And you won't take my car anywhere but there and back."

"We'll be very careful."

Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with that seven-layer dip ... And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."

Prometheus: you talked to him first, hence you interrupted your own poker game ,Jack.

Epimetheus: Who's Jack?

Prometheus: I don't know, mortals say it down below, I had visions of conversations and thought I would use a phrase.

Epimetheus: okay?  
**  
Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing soprano for a week.**

But my mom's eyes warned me not to make him mad.

Why did she put up with this guy? I wanted to scream. Why did she care what he thought?

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I'm really sorry I interrupted your incredibly important poker game. Please go back to it right now."

Gabe's eyes narrowed. His tiny brain was probably trying to detect sarcasm in my statement.

"Yeah, whatever," he decided.

He went back to his game.

"Thank you, Percy," my mom said. "Once we get to Montauk, we'll talk more about... whatever you've forgotten to tell me, okay?"

For a moment, I thought I saw anxiety in her eyes - the same fear I'd seen in Grover during the bus ride - as if my mom too felt an odd chill in the air.

But then her smile returned, and I figured I must have been mistaken. She ruffled my hair and went to make Gabe his seven-layer dip.

An hour later we were ready to leave.

Gabe took a break from his **poker game**** long enough to watch me lug my mom's bags to the car. He kept griping and groaning about losing her cooking - and more important, his '78 Camaro - for the whole weekend.**

"Not a scratch on this car, brain boy," he warned me as I loaded the last bag. "Not one little scratch."

Like I'd be the one driving. I was twelve. But that didn't matter to Gabe. If a seagull so much as pooped on his paint job, he'd find a way to blame me.

Watching him lumber back toward the apartment building, I got so mad I did something I can't explain. As Gabe reached the doorway, I made the hand gesture I'd seen Grover make on the bus, a sort of warding-off-evil gesture, a clawed hand over my heart, then a shoving movement toward Gabe. The screen door slammed shut so hard it whacked him in the butt and sent him flying up the staircase as if he'd been shot from a cannon.

Everyones mouths opened

Ares: that's one powerful Demigod

Dionysus: yeah, im sure he's the coolest chip in the bag, but im sure this could just be by coincidence.

After he spoke, he slowly started to snore into sleeping, until he was hit with something soft, and when he looked down it was another loaf of Wonder bread.

Zeus: don't fall asleep boy!

Dionysus: but dad!-

Zeus: NO BUTS, WHAT I SAY GOES!

Kronos smiled evily at his son, he has much of his traits like father like son

**Maybe it was just the wind, or some freak accident with the hinges, but I didn't stay long enough to find out.**

I got in the Camaro and told my mom to step on it.

Our rental cabin was on the south shore, way out at the tip of Long Island. It was a little pastel box with faded curtains, half sunken into the dunes. There was always sand in the sheets and spiders in the cabinets, and most of the time the sea was too cold to swim in.

I loved the place.

We'd been going there since I was a baby. My mom had been going even longer. She never exactly said, but I knew why the beach was special to her. It was the place where she'd met my dad.

As we got closer to Montauk, she seemed to grow younger, years of worry and work disappearing from her face. Her eyes turned the color of the sea.

We got there at sunset, opened all the cabin's windows, and went through our usual cleaning routine. We walked on the beach, fed blue corn chips to the seagulls, and munched on blue jelly beans, blue saltwater taffy, and all the other free samples my mom had brought from work.

I guess I should explain the blue food.

See, Gabe had once told my mom there was no such thing. They had this fight, which seemed like a really small thing at the time. But ever since, my mom went out of her way to eat blue. She baked blue birthday cakes. She mixed blueberry smoothies. She bought blue-corn tortilla chips and brought home blue candy from the shop. This - along with keeping her maiden name, Jackson, rather than calling herself Mrs. Ugliano - was proof that she wasn't totally suckered by Gabe. She did have a rebellious streak, like me.

When it got dark, we made a fire. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. Mom told me stories about when she was a kid, back before her parents died in the plane crash. She told me about the books she wanted to write someday, when she had enough money to quit the candy shop.

Eventually, I got up the nerve to ask about what was always on my mind whenever we came to Montauk - my father. Mom's eyes went all misty. I figured she would tell me the same things she always did, but I never got tired of hearing them.

"He was kind, Percy," she said. "Tall, handsome, and powerful. But gentle, too. You have his black hair, you know, and his green eyes."

Mom fished a blue jelly bean out of her candy bag. "I wish he could see you, Percy. He would be so proud."

I wondered how she could say that. What was so great about me? A dyslexic, hyperactive boy with a D+ report card, kicked out of school for the sixth time in six years.

"How old was I?" I asked. "I mean ... when he left?"

**She watched the flames. "He was only with me for one summer, Percy. Right here at this beach. This cabin."**

"But... he knew me as a baby."

"No, honey. He knew I was expecting a baby, but he never saw you. He had to leave before you were born."

I tried to square that with the fact that I seemed to remember ... something about my father. A warm glow. A smile.

Poseidon: that's right, I remember visiting you when you a little sprout

He smiled, unfortunetly Zeus was angry

Zeus: POSEIDON! YOU BROKE AN ANCIENT LA-

Poseidon: Shut up Zeus, we've been over this before

He said glaring at Zeus and vise versa  
**  
I had always assumed he knew me as a baby. My mom had never said it outright, but still, I'd felt it must be true. Now, to be told that he'd never even seen me ...**

I felt angry at my father. Maybe it was stupid, but I resented him for going on that ocean voyage, for not having the guts to marry my mom. He'd left us, and now we were stuck with Smelly Gabe.

"Are you going to send me away again?" I asked her. "To another boarding school?"

She pulled a marshmallow from the fire.

"I don't know, honey." Her voice was heavy. "I think ... I think we'll have to do something."

"Because you don't want me around?" I regretted the words as soon as they were out.

Artemis: at least he admitted to his mistake****

My mom's eyes welled with tears. She took my hand, squeezed it tight. "Oh, Percy, no. I - I have to, honey. For your own good. I have to send you away."

Her words reminded me of what Mr. Brunner had said - that it was best for me to leave Yancy.

"Because I'm not normal," I said.

"You say that as if it's a bad thing, Percy. But you don't realize how important you are. I thought YancyAcademy would be far enough away. I thought you'd finally be safe."

"Safe from what?"

The Titans: US!

Then they all bursted out laughing, because they all said it at the same time  
**  
She met my eyes, and a flood of memories came back to me - all the weird, scary things that had ever happened to me, some of which I'd tried to forget.**

During third grade, a man in a black trench coat had stalked me on the playground. When the teachers threatened to call the police, he went away growling, but no one believed me when I told them that under his broad-brimmed hat, the man only had one eye, right in the middle of his head.

Before that - a really early memory. I was in preschool, and a teacher accidentally put me down for a nap in a cot that a snake had slithered into. My mom screamed when she came to pick me up and found me playing with a limp, scaly rope I'd somehow managed to strangle to death with my meaty toddler hands.

Prometheus: Like Heracles right?

Zeus looked at Prometheus

Zeus: yes, that's exactly right

Prometheus: okay then.

Kronos looked at Hera

Kronos: im guessing you had something to do with that Daughter

Hera cringed when he called her Daughter

Hera: Yes, I did I couldn't take him cheating on me again, so I finally decided to act and take it out on someone whom is weak and defenseless to stop it, cause I tried to Overthrow Zeus once, but that plan failed, so I did this one discretely and it failed yet again.

Kronos bellow laughed

Zeus: how do you know who Heracles is Prometheus? He is thousands of years after your time.

Prometheus: since I am in the present, I can gain knowledge of all that has lead up to this point, and I can also predict what can happen. So I know who Heracles is, you and a Woman named Alcmene mated and concieved. Right?

Zeus was stunned, perhaps Prometheus could be of use to him, hopefully his past self will realize that instead of doing what he did and punished him.

Zeus: yes, right on the dot  
**  
In every single school, something creepy had happened, something unsafe, and I was forced to move.**

I knew I should tell my mom about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds at the art museum, about my weird hallucination that I had sliced my math teacher into dust with a sword. But I couldn't make myself tell her. I had a strange feeling the news would end our trip to Montauk, and I didn't want that.

"I've tried to keep you as close to me as I could," my mom said. "They told me that was a mistake. But there's only one other option, Percy - the place your father wanted to send you. And I just... I just can't stand to do it."

"My father wanted me to go to a special school?"

"Not a school," she said softly. "A summer camp."

Dionysus grumbled something like ' more like Camp Punishment for me'

Zeus: Do you want another 100 years Dionysus!

Dionysus:no sir

Zeus: then stupid being a pity party for yourself

**My head was spinning. Why would my dad - who hadn't even stayed around long enough to see me born - talk to my mom about a summer camp? And if it was so important, why hadn't she ever mentioned it before?**

"I'm sorry, Percy," she said, seeing the look in my eyes. "But I can't talk about it. I - I couldn't send you to that place. It might mean saying good-bye to you for good."

"For good? But if it's only a summer camp ..."

She turned toward the fire, and I knew from her expression that if I asked her any more questions she would start to cry.

That night I had a vivid dream.

It was storming on the beach, and two beautiful animals, a white horse and a golden eagle, were trying to kill each other at the edge of the surf. The eagle swooped down and slashed the horse's muzzle with its huge talons. The horse reared up and kicked at the eagles wings. As they fought, the ground rumbled, and a monstrous voice chuckled somewhere beneath the earth, goading the animals to fight harder.

Everyone looked at Kronos

Kronos smiled evily

Kronos: so I am in this story huh? This will be interesting

Hades: oh yeah "Interesting" *putting up quote marks*

Kronos: Quiet you little petty marmet!  
**  
I ran toward them, knowing I had to stop them from killing each other, but I was running in slow motion. I knew I would be too late. I saw the eagle dive down, its beak aimed at the horse's wide eyes, and I screamed, No!**

I woke with a start.

Outside, it really was storming, the kind of storm that cracks trees and blows down houses. There was no horse or eagle on the beach, just lightning making false daylight, and twenty-foot waves pounding the dunes like artillery.

With the next thunderclap, my mom woke. She sat up, eyes wide, and said, "Hurricane."

I knew that was crazy. Long Island never sees hurricanes this early in the summer. But the ocean seemed to have forgotten. Over the roar of the wind, I heard a distant bellow, an angry, tortured sound that made my hair stand on end.

Then a much closer noise, like mallets in the sand. A desperate voice - someone yelling, pounding on our cabin door.

My mother sprang out of bed in her nightgown and threw open the lock.

Grover stood framed in the doorway against a backdrop of pouring rain. But he wasn't... he wasn't exactly Grover.

"Searching all night," he gasped. "What were you thinking?"

My mother looked at me in terror - not scared of Grover, but of why he'd come.

"Percy," she said, shouting to be heard over the rain. "What happened at school? What didn't you tell me?"

Prometheus and Epimetheus: A lot

**  
I was frozen, looking at Grover. I couldn't understand what I was seeing.**

"O Zeu kai alloi theoi!" he yelled. "It's right behind me! Didn't you tell her?"

I was too shocked to register that he'd just cursed in Ancient Greek, and I'd understood him perfectly. I was too shocked to wonder how Grover had gotten here by himself in the middle of the night. Because Grover didn't have his pants on - and where his legs should be ... where his legs should be ...

My mom looked at me sternly and talked in a tone she'd never used before: "Percy. Tell me now!"

Poseidon: Yes son tell her, she'll understand****

I stammered something about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds, and my mom stared at me, her face deathly pale in the flashes of lightning.

She grabbed her purse, tossed me my rain jacket, and said, "Get to the car. Both of you. Go!"

Grover ran for the Camaro - but he wasn't running, exactly. He was trotting, shaking his shaggy hindquarters, and suddenly his story about a muscular disorder in his legs made sense to me. I understood how he could run so fast and still limp when he walked.

Because where his feet should be, there were no feet. There were cloven hooves.

Demeter: and end of he chapter,who wants to read next?

Hera: I will

She snapped her fingers and the book flew into her hands.

Just before she started reading another Bright light appeared this time 4 Titans appeared.


	5. Chapter 5

**MY MOTHER TEACHES ME BULLFIGHTING**

4 Blinding flashes appeared and when they were gone 4 Titans were there

Zeus stood up with his lightning bolt ready

Zeus: INTRODUCE YOURSELVES!

They looked at him surprised

''I am Perses Titan of Destruction''

Another one stepped forward

''I am Helios Titan of the Sun''

Hyperion smiled with pride at his Son, and Heir

Then a female came forward

''I am Mnemosyne Titaness of Memory''

Then the last one and this one shocked the Olympians most

''I am Atlas Titan of Strength and Endurance''

Iapetus smiled with Pride this time

Zeus: one….one question Atlas? What or who holds up the sky in your time

Atlas looked at him like he'd gone crazy

Atlas: the great pillars of course, they have been keeping Grandpa Uranus from mating with Mother Gaea.

Atlas turned around and saw hs uncles,Father, and Siblings and smiles

Atlas: BROTHERS!

He ran over to them and gave them hugs, while the Olympians were shocked at his behavior, because the Atlas they knew was Vicious and Dangerous.

Zeus: so um shall we continue then.

Helios: what are we reading?

Zeus: how do you know were reading something

Helios: one the fates told us and two that woman over there * pointing at Hera* is holding a book.

Most people snickered

Zeus: okay on with the book!

**We tore through the night along dark country roads. Wind slammed against the Camaro. Rain lashed the windshield. I didn't know how my mom could see anything, but she kept her foot on the gas.  
**

Ares: yeah! Keep it nice and fast, that's the way of the road

Hephaestus: and the ticket for, damages Vehicles of yours making their way into my shop every time you go joy riding, speeds unknown

Apollo: and you keep messing up your body when you get into crashes, so it takes time out of my-

Zeus cut him off to resume reading

Zeus: continue Hera 

**Every time there was a flash of lightning, I looked at Grover sitting next to me in the backseat and I wondered if I'd gone insane, or if he was wearing some kind of shag-carpet pants. But, no, the smell was one I remembered from kindergarten field trips to the petting zoo - lanolin, like from wool. The smell of a wet barnyard animal.**

All I could think to say was, "So, you and my mom... know each other?"

Graver's eyes flitted to the rearview mirror, though there were no cars behind us. "Not exactly," he said. "I mean, we've never met in person. But she knew I was watching you."  


Apollo: stalker goat

Hermes snickered

**"Watching me?"**

"Keeping tabs on you. Making sure you were okay. But I wasn't faking being your friend," he added hastily. "I am your friend."

"Urn ... what are you, exactly?"

"That doesn't matter right now."

"It doesn't matter? From the waist down, my best friend is a donkey - "

Grover let out a sharp, throaty "Blaa-ha-ha!"

I'd heard him make that sound before, but I'd always assumed it was a nervous laugh. Now I realized it was more of an irritated bleat.

"Goat!" he cried.

"What?"

"I'm a goat from the waist down."

"You just said it didn't matter."

"Blaa-ha-ha! There are satyrs who would trample you underhoof for such an insult!"

"Whoa. Wait. Satyrs. You mean like ... Mr. Brunner's myths?"

"Were those old ladies at the fruit stand a myth, Percy? Was Mrs. Dodds a myth?"

"So you admit there was a Mrs. Dodds!"

"Of course."

"Then why - "

"The less you knew, the fewer monsters you'd attract," Grover said, like that should be perfectly obvious. "We put Mist over the humans' eyes. We hoped you'd think the Kindly One was a hallucination. But it was no good. You started to realize who you are."

"Who I - wait a minute, what do you mean?"

The weird bellowing noise rose up again somewhere behind us, closer than before. Whatever was chasing us was still on our trail.

"Percy," my mom said, "there's too much to explain and not enough time. We have to get you to safety."

"Safety from what? Who's after me?"

Before Kronos and the other Titans could open their mouths to state they are the ones sfter him Zeus interrupted

Zeus: yes we know, we know you guys are the most powerful beings I nthe World

'except that we beat you and took over' Zeus said quietly

**"Oh, nobody much," Grover said, obviously still miffed about the donkey comment. "Just the Lord of the Dead and a few of his blood-thirstiest minions."**

"Grover!"

"Sorry, Mrs. Jackson. Could you drive faster, please?"

I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening, but I couldn't do it. I knew this wasn't a dream. I had no imagination. I could never dream up something this weird.

My mom made a hard left. We swerved onto a narrower road, racing past darkened farmhouses and wooded hills and PICK YOUR OWN STRAWBERRIES signs on white picket fences.

'Almost there' Poseidon thought and smirked

**"Where are we going?" I asked.**

"The summer camp I told you about." My mother's voice was tight; she was trying for my sake not to be scared. "The place your father wanted to send you."

"The place you didn't want me to go."

"Please, dear," my mother begged. "This is hard enough. Try to understand. You're in danger."

"Because some old ladies cut yarn."

Everyone except the new Titans snorted

Crius: those Old Ladies, had your life, in the palm of their hands, so I would be cautious of what you say about them boy

'cause you're an expert on being cautious' Hyperion thought rolling his eyes  
**  
"Those weren't old ladies," Grover said. "Those were the Fates. Do you know what it means - the fact they appeared in front of you? They only do that when you're about to ... when someone's about to die."**

"Whoa. You said 'you.'"

"No I didn't. I said 'someone.'"

"You meant 'you.' As in me."

"I meant you, like 'someone.' Not you, you."

"Boys!" my mom said.

She pulled the wheel hard to the right, and I got a glimpse of a figure she'd swerved to avoid - a dark fluttering shape now lost behind us in the storm.

"What was that?" I asked.

"We're almost there," my mother said, ignoring my question. "Another mile. Please. Please. Please."

I didn't know where there was, but I found myself leaning forward in the car, anticipating, wanting us to arrive.

Outside, nothing but rain and darkness - the kind of empty countryside you get way out on the tip of Long Island. I thought about Mrs. Dodds and the moment when she'd changed into the thing with pointed teeth and leathery wings. My limbs went numb from delayed shock. She really hadn't been human. She'd meant to kill me.

Kronos: he just now figured that out *snorts*

Poseidon: shut up, he didn't know he was a demigod yet

Hestia: please, can we have a chapter without a flick of argument or conflict?

Poseidon: sorry sister

Hestia smiled at him 

**Then I thought about Mr. Brunner ... and the sword he had thrown me. Before I could ask Grover about that, the hair rose on the back of my neck. There was a blinding flash, a jaw-rattling boom!, and our car exploded.**

I remember feeling weightless, like I was being crushed, fried, and hosed down all at the same time.

I peeled my forehead off the back of the driver's seat and said, "Ow."

"Percy!" my mom shouted.

"I'm okay... ."

I tried to shake off the daze. I wasn't dead. The car hadn't really exploded. We'd swerved into a ditch. Our driver's-side doors were wedged in the mud. The roof had cracked open like an eggshell and rain was pouring in.

Lightning.

Poseidon looked outraged

Poseidon: ZEEEEEEEEEUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

He ran to Zeus' throne and choked him bringing him ot the floor,while everyone looked on in amusment, before Ares, Apollo. And Hephaestus got him off Zeus

Poseidon: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU THREW LIGHTNING AT MY SON!

Zeus: sorry?

Poseidon glared

**That was the only explanation. We'd been blasted right off the road. Next to me in the backseat was a big motionless lump. "Grover!"**

He was slumped over, blood trickling from the side of his mouth. I shook his furry hip, thinking, No! Even if you are half barnyard animal, you're my best friend and I don't want you to die!

Then he groaned "Food," and I knew there was hope.

"Percy," my mother said, "we have to ..." Her voice faltered.

I looked back. In a flash of lightning, through the mud-spattered rear windshield, I saw a figure lumbering toward us on the shoulder of the road. The sight of it made my skin crawl. It was a dark silhouette of a huge guy, like a football player. He seemed to be holding a blanket over his head. His top half was bulky and fuzzy. His upraised hands made it look like he had horns.

I swallowed hard. "Who is - "  


Prometheus: if im not Mistaken, it sounds like a Bull like creature

Hephaestus: yes, exactly like that

Helios: so what is it?

Hera: if you people would let me read you'll find out! Hera exploded to everyone  
**"Percy," my mother said, deadly serious. "Get out of the car."**

My mother threw herself against the driver's-side door. It was jammed shut in the mud. I tried mine. Stuck too. I looked up desperately at the hole in the roof. It might've been an exit, but the edges were sizzling and smoking.

"Climb out the passenger's side!" my mother told me. "Percy - you have to run. Do you see that big tree?"

"What?"

Another flash of lightning, and through the smoking hole in the roof I saw the tree she meant: a huge, White House Christmas tree-sized pine at the crest of the nearest hill.

"That's the property line," my mom said. "Get over that hill and you'll see a big farmhouse down in the valley. Run and don't look back. Yell for help. Don't stop until you reach the door."

"Mom, you're coming too."

All the goddesses cooed****

Her face was pale, her eyes as sad as when she looked at the ocean.

"No!" I shouted. "You are coming with me. Help me carry Grover."

"Food!" Grover moaned, a little louder.

The man with the blanket on his head kept coming toward us, making his grunting, snorting noises. As he got closer, I realized he couldn't be holding a blanket over his head, because his hands - huge meaty hands - were swinging at his sides. There was no blanket. Meaning the bulky, fuzzy mass that was too big to be his head ... was his head. And the points that looked like horns ...

"He doesn't want us," my mother told me. "He wants you. Besides, I can't cross the property line."

"But..."

"We don't have time, Percy. Go. Please."

I got mad, then - mad at my mother, at Grover the goat, at the thing with horns that was lumbering toward us slowly and deliberately like, like a bull.  


Athena: its half bull

She said quietly not spoiling it for the Titans

**I climbed across Grover and pushed the door open into the rain. "We're going together. Come on, Mom."**

"I told you - "

"Mom! I am not leaving you. Help me with Grover."

Hera: such a Loyal boy

She smiled

Demeter: indeed****

I didn't wait for her answer. I scrambled outside, dragging Grover from the car. He was surprisingly light, but I couldn't have carried him very far if my mom hadn't come to my aid.

Together, we draped Grover's arms over our shoulders and started stumbling uphill through wet waist-high grass.

Glancing back, I got my first clear look at the monster. He was seven feet tall, easy, his arms and legs like something from the cover of Muscle Man magazine - bulging biceps and triceps and a bunch of other 'ceps, all stuffed like baseballs under vein-webbed skin. He wore no clothes except underwear - I mean, bright white Fruit of the Looms - which would've looked funny, except that the top half of his body was so scary. Coarse brown hair started at about his belly button and got thicker as it reached his shoulders.

Kronos: sounds like something our Army could use

Hyperion: yeah!

Helios: dad?

Hyperion: yeah son?

Helios: what exactly is that thing called

Hyperion: I don't know son

The Olympians sat back and watched as the sun dad and son were trying to figure out what the Minotaur was  
**  
His neck was a mass of muscle and fur leading up to his enormous head, which had a snout as long as my arm, snotty nostrils with a gleaming brass ring, cruel black eyes, and horns - enormous black-and-white horns with points you just couldn't get from an electric sharpener.**

I recognized the monster, all right. He had been in one of the first stories Mr. Brunner told us. But he couldn't be real.

I blinked the rain out of my eyes. "That's - "

"Pasiphae's son," my mother said. "I wish I'd known how badly they want to kill you."  


Perses: whos Paisephae?

Zeus: someone you will never meet

Perses studied Zeus as if he were a painting

**"But he's the Min - "**

"Don't say his name," she warned. "Names have power."

The pine tree was still way too far - a hundred yards uphill at least.

I glanced behind me again.

The bull-man hunched over our car, looking in the windows - or not looking, exactly. More like snuffling, nuzzling. I wasn't sure why he bothered, since we were only about fifty feet away.

"Food?" Grover moaned.

"Shhh," I told him. "Mom, what's he doing? Doesn't he see us?"

"His sight and hearing are terrible," she said. "He goes by smell. But he'll figure out where we are soon enough."  


Mnemosyne: oh if that thing goes by smell, then Crius you better hope it doesn't find you cause yuck! Your odor stinks up Hallways

Both Titans and Gods laughed out loud at that

Crius: SHUT UP! Im not half as bad as Atlas on Thursdays

Atlas: no you got me beat, plus you hog up the water and don't ever wash your ass

Crius: why you…..

Crius attacked Atlas and they were fighting on the floor, Atlas was obviously winning, until Kronos bellowed

Kronos: THAT'S ENOUGH, SIT DOWN I NYOUR CHAIRS BOTH OF YOU!

**As if on cue, the bull-man bellowed in rage. He picked up Gabe's Camaro by the torn roof, the chassis creaking and groaning. He raised the car over his head and threw it down the road. It slammed into the wet asphalt and skidded in a shower of sparks for about half a mile before coming to a stop. The gas tank exploded.**

Not a scratch, I remembered Gabe saying.

**Oops.  
**

The Gods laughed

**"Percy," my mom said. "When he sees us, he'll charge. Wait until the last second, then jump out of the way - directly sideways. He can't change directions very well once he's charging. Do you understand?"**

"How do you know all this?"

"I've been worried about an attack for a long time. I should have expected this. I was selfish, keeping you near me."

"Keeping me near you? But - "

Another bellow of rage, and the bull-man started tromping uphill.

He'd smelled us.

The pine tree was only a few more yards, but the hill was getting steeper and slicker, and Grover wasn't getting any lighter.

The bull-man closed in. Another few seconds and he'd be on top of us.

My mother must've been exhausted, but she shouldered Grover. "Go, Percy! Separate! Remember what I said."

I didn't want to split up, but I had the feeling she was right - it was our only chance. I sprinted to the left, turned, and saw the creature bearing down on me. His black eyes glowed with hate. He reeked like rotten meat.

He lowered his head and charged, those razor-sharp horns aimed straight at my chest.

The fear in my stomach made me want to bolt, but that wouldn't work. I could never outrun this thing. So I held my ground, and at the last moment, I jumped to the side.

The bull-man stormed past like a freight train, then bellowed with frustration and turned, but not toward me this time, toward my mother, who was setting Grover down in the grass.

We'd reached the crest of the hill. Down the other side I could see a valley, just as my mother had said, and the lights of a farmhouse glowing yellow through the rain. But that was half a mile away. We'd never make it.

The bull-man grunted, pawing the ground. He kept eyeing my mother, who was now retreating slowly downhill, back toward the road, trying to lead the monster away from Grover.

"Run, Percy!" she told me. "I can't go any farther. Run!"

Poseidon: no no no no****

But I just stood there, frozen in fear, as the monster charged her. She tried to sidestep, as she'd told me to do, but the monster had learned his lesson. His hand shot out and grabbed her by the neck as she tried to get away. He lifted her as she struggled, kicking and pummeling the air.

"Mom!"

She caught my eyes, managed to choke out one last word: "Go!"

Then, with an angry roar, the monster closed his fists around my mother's neck, and she dissolved before my eyes, melting into light, a shimmering golden form, as if she were a holographic projection. A blinding flash, and she was simply ... gone.  


Poseidon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Apollo: you sounds like Darth Vader uncle

Poseidon glared at him

Poseidon doused him with water so deep it borders the top of the Underworld

Apollo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT'S FREAKING COLD!

Poseidon: did you expect it to be hot *rolls eyes*

Apollo: Hot…hot…hot wo…wou….would….of….of.. …..been…bette…better 

**"No!"**

Anger replaced my fear. Newfound strength burned in my limbs - the same rush of energy I'd gotten when Mrs. Dodds grew talons.

The bull-man bore down on Grover, who lay helpless in the grass. The monster hunched over, snuffling my best friend, as if he were about to lift Grover up and make him dissolve too.

I couldn't allow that.

**I stripped off my red rain jacket.**

"Hey!" I screamed, waving the jacket, running to one side of the monster. "Hey, stupid! Ground beef!"

"Raaaarrrrr!" The monster turned toward me, shaking his meaty fists.

I had an idea - a stupid idea, but better than no idea at all. I put my back to the big pine tree and waved my red jacket in front of the bull-man, thinking I'd jump out of the way at the last moment.

But it didn't happen like that.

The bull-man charged too fast, his arms out to grab me whichever way I tried to dodge.

Time slowed down.

Everyone looked at Kronos, who was smirking

Kronos: I guess I do play a big part in this boy life, if time is involved

Athena: time doesn't necessarily mean you Kro-

Kronos: WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE!

Athena: The original Deity of time, Chronos the one of your name origin.

Kronos: he doesn't do anything, but sit on his ass and judge people

Apollo and Hermes snickered at that

Apollo: like Santa does

Then they bursted out laughing, everyone looked at them curiously  
**  
My legs tensed. I couldn't jump sideways, so I leaped straight up, kicking off from the creature's head, using it as a springboard, turning in midair, and landing on his neck.**

How did I do that? I didn't have time to figure it out. A millisecond later, the monster's head slammed into the tree and the impact nearly knocked my teeth out.

The bull-man staggered around, trying to shake me. I locked my arms around his horns to keep from being thrown. Thunder and lightning were still going strong. The rain was in my eyes. The smell of rotten meat burned my nostrils.

The monster shook himself around and bucked like a rodeo bull. He should have just backed up into the tree and smashed me flat, but I was starting to realize that this thing had only one gear: forward.

Meanwhile, Grover started groaning in the grass. I wanted to yell at him to shut up, but the way I was getting tossed around, if I opened my mouth I'd bite my own tongue off.

"Food!" Grover moaned.

Zeus: shut up Satyr!

Kronos: wait! Satyr as those goats that are half breeds!

Zeus: yes

Kronos: ugh! They are useless!

Zeus: on that we agree

Everyone gasped, Kronos and Zeus agreed on something

**The bull-man wheeled toward him, pawed the ground again, and got ready to charge. I thought about how he had squeezed the life out of my mother, made her disappear in a flash of light, and rage filled me like high-octane fuel. I got both hands around one horn and I pulled backward with all my might. The monster tensed, gave a surprised grunt, then - snap!**

The bull-man screamed and flung me through the air. I landed flat on my back in the grass. My head smacked against a rock. When I sat up, my vision was blurry, but I had a horn in my hands, a ragged bone weapon the size of a knife.  


Ares: alright, now get its ass! Show it whos boss!

Ares said stand up with a machine gun in hand, like he was going into battle

Zeus: SIT DOWN!

Lightning struck where Ares was standing before he cowered in his seat

**The monster charged.**

Atlas: I wouldn't be scared of it, I would pick the biggest rock I could find and when it came within 10 feet on me, smash it on its head repeatedly until it died

Hyperion: I would flash fry that fucker!

Helios smiled at his dad, who returned it

Mnemosyne: I would make it lose its memory and forget why it was attacking me.

Everyone stared at her

Mnemosyne: what, its just an idea

Ares mumbled: not a good one

Unfortunetly Mnemosyne heard him and glared at him.  
**  
Without thinking, I rolled to one side and came up kneeling. As the monster barreled past, I drove the broken horn straight into his side, right up under his furry rib cage.**

The bull-man roared in agony. He flailed, clawing at his chest, then began to disintegrate - not like my mother, in a flash of golden light, 

Athena: That is different from glowing golden dust

Apollo: maybe the boys mother wasn't killed, just kidnapped

Athena: a definite possibility

Poseidon looked like a drunk person about to pass out

**but like crumbling sand, blown away in chunks by the wind, the same way Mrs. Dodds had burst apart.**

The monster was gone.

Everyone cheered

Helios: wow he must be powerful to defeat a monster of that proportion

Hyperion: please went I was a lad, I used to kill things worse than that

Kronos: oh, you can kill other things, but If I recall correctly, you didn't have the guts to castrate father. None of you did

All the Titans started yelling in protest of what he said

Kronos: YOU ALL KNOW ITS TRUE NOT SHUT YOUR MOUTHS BEFORE I CUT THEM OFF WITH MY SCYTHE! 

Prometheus: your always so scary, why are you like that

Kronos turned to face his Nephew

Kronos: im only like that when Dumbasses like you PROMETHEUS! Don't follow promises like they say they would.

Perses: HEY! I scoped out the enemy territory like you asked.

Kronos: your point Perses

Perses: YOU NEVER GAVE ME ANY FUCKING RECOGNITION!CAUSE APPERENTLY IM NOT ''IMPORTANT ENOUGH"

Kronos: Fine! You want recognition, *in a baby voice* hey everyone wittle perses, scouted enemy position,* then turned back to his regular voice* Happy

Perses: wasn't much but ill take it  
**The rain had stopped. The storm still rumbled, but only in the distance. I smelled like livestock and my knees were shaking. My head felt like it was splitting open. I was weak and scared and trembling with grief I'd just seen my mother vanish. I wanted to lie down and cry, but there was Grover, needing my help, so I managed to haul him up and stagger down into the valley, toward the lights of the farmhouse. I was crying, calling for my mother, but I held on to Grover - I wasn't going to let him go.**

Demeter and Hestia smiled, their Nephew was quite Loyal and caring

Poseidon worried about his son and about his mother being gone , taken by somebody.

As if reading Poseidons mind Hades slowly inched away, because he had a good idea of who took her.  
**  
The last thing I remember is collapsing on a wooden porch, looking up at a ceiling fan circling above me, moths flying around a yellow light, and the stern faces of a familiar-looking bearded man and a pretty girl, her blond hair curled like a princess's. They both looked down at me, and the girl said, "He's the one. He must be."**

"Silence, Annabeth," the man said. "He's still conscious. Bring him inside."

Athena" Annabeth? My daughter? Whats she doing in this story

Hera: I don't know nor do I care, who wants to read next

Helios: I will

Hera threw the book at him, he caught it


	6. Chapter 6

**I PLAY PINOCHLE WITH A HORSE**

Helios started to read until another bright light hit the throne room

Zeus: who are you

He said in a demanding voice

"why are you being so aggressive to me"

She said in a scared voice

Hestia: who are you young one

" oh im not as young as I appear" she smiled at Hestia and she returned one right back

" Im Phoebe, Titaness of the Moon"

Artemis was shocked

' this is the original Moon Deity' she thought as she saw Phoebe sit next to Mnemosyne

Helios: okay shall we continue

Everyone nodded

**I had weird dreams full of barnyard animals. Most of them wanted to kill me. The rest wanted food.**

I must've woken up several times, but what I heard and saw made no sense, so I just passed out again. I remember lying in a soft bed, being spoon-fed something that tasted like **buttered popcorn****, only it was pudding. The girl with curly blond hair hovered over me, smirking as she scraped drips off my chin with the spoon.**

Aphrodite: oooooh somebody is in love

Athena: shes just helping him recover Aphrodite

Aphrodite: oh, Athena, how little you know about love

Athena grumbled something about how insignicant Love is to Wisdom

**When she saw my eyes open, she asked, "What will happen at the summer solstice?"**

I managed to croak, "What?"

She looked around, as if afraid someone would overhear. "What's going on? What was stolen? We've only got a few weeks!"

Hermes: she really thought he would know?

****

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, "I don't..."

Somebody knocked on the door, and the girl quickly filled my mouth with pudding.

Artemis: that's a good way of shutting a guy up

The girls agreed

Apollo: yes it is and a delicious one at that

All the guys agreed and thought about pudding

Artemis rolled her eyes  
**  
The next time I woke up, the girl was gone.**

A husky blond dude, like a surfer, stood in the corner of the bedroom keeping watch over me. He had blue eyes - at least a dozen of them - on his cheeks, his forehead, the backs of his hands.

Hera: Argus

She smiled at his mention  
**  
When I finally came around for good, there was nothing weird about my surroundings, except that they were nicer than I was used to. I was sitting in a ****deck chair on a huge porch, gazing across a meadow at green hills in the distance. The breeze smelled like strawberries. There was a blanket over my legs, a pillow behind my neck. All that was great, but my mouth felt like a scorpion had been using it for a nest. My tongue was dry and nasty and every one of my teeth hurt.**

On the table next to me was a tall drink. It looked like iced apple juice, with a green straw and a paper parasol stuck through a maraschino cherry.

'Nectar' most of the people in the room said dribbling drool or maybe that was just Apollo.

Hermes: can we have som-

Zeus: NO!

Hermes: okay

He hid a smirk

**My hand was so weak I almost dropped the glass once I got my fingers around it.**

"Careful," a familiar voice said.

Grover was leaning against the porch railing, looking like he hadn't** slept in a week. Under one arm, he cradled a shoe box. He was wearing blue jeans, Converse hi-tops and a bright orange T-shirt that said CAMPHALF-BLOOD. Just plain old Grover, Not the goat boy.**

So maybe I'd had a nightmare. Maybe my mom was okay. We were still on vacation, and we'd stopped here at this big house for some reason. And ...

"You saved my life," Grover said. "I... well, the least I could do ... I went back to the hill. I thought you might want this."

Reverently, he placed the shoe box in my lap.

Inside was a black-and-white bull's horn, the base jagged from being broken off, the tip splattered with dried blood. It hadn't been a nightmare.

"The Minotaur," I said.

"Urn, Percy, it isn't a good idea - "

"That's what they call him in the Greek myths, isn't it?" I demanded. "The Minotaur. Half man, half bull."

Grover shifted uncomfortably. "You've been out for two days. How much do you remember?"

"My mom. Is she really ..."

He looked down.

I stared across the meadow. There were groves of trees, a winding stream, acres of strawberries spread out under the blue sky. The valley was surrounded by **rolling hills****, and the tallest one, directly in front of us, was the one with the huge pine tree on top. Even that looked beautiful in the sunlight.**

My mother was gone. The whole world should be black and cold. Nothing should look beautiful.  


All the Goddeses/ Titanesses looked sad 

**"I'm sorry," Grover sniffled. "I'm a failure. I'm - I'm the worst satyr in the world."**

He moaned, stomping his foot so hard it came off. I mean, the Converse hi-top came off. The inside was filled with Styrofoam, except for a hoof-shaped hole.

"Oh, Styx!" he mumbled.

Athena: Lady Styx hates it when people swear in her name you know 

Ares: .know

Athena glared at him

**Thunder rolled across the clear sky.**

As he struggled to get his hoof back in the fake foot, I thought, Well, that settles it.

Grover was a satyr. I was ready to bet that if I shaved his curly brown hair, I'd find tiny horns on his head. But I was too miserable to care that satyrs existed, or even minotaurs. All that meant was my mom really had been squeezed into nothingness, dissolved into yellow light.

I was alone. An orphan. I would have to live with ... Smelly Gabe? No. That would never happen. I would live on the streets first. I would pretend I was seventeen and join the army. I'd do something.

Grover was still sniffling. The poor kid - poor goat, satyr, whatever - looked as if he expected to be hit.

I said, "It wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was. I was supposed to protect you."

"Did my mother ask you to protect me?"

"No. But that's my job. I'm a keeper. At least... I was."

Zeus: he shouldn't of gotten a second chance, after he failed with my Daughter!

Hera: Honey buns, calm down

Apollo and Hermes snickered

Apollo: yes Honey buns, calm down so we can-

He was zapped with 100,000 Volts of electricity straight from his bolt

Hermes: will he be okay?

No response  
**  
"But why ..." I suddenly felt dizzy, my vision swimming.**

"Don't strain yourself," Grover said. "Here." He helped me hold my glass and put the straw to my lips.

I recoiled at the taste, because I was expecting apple juice. It wasn't that at all. It was chocolate-chip cookies. Liquid cookies. And not just any cookies - my mom's homemade blue chocolate-chip cookies, buttery and hot, with the chips still melting. Drinking it, my whole body felt warm and good, full of energy. My grief didn't go away, but I felt as if my mom had just brushed her hand against my cheek, given me a cookie the way she used to when I was small, and told me everything was going to be okay.

Before I knew it, I'd drained the glass. I stared into it, sure I'd just had a warm drink, but the ice cubes hadn't even melted.

"Was it good?" Grover asked.

I nodded.

"What did it taste like?" He sounded so wistful, I felt guilty.

"Sorry," I said. "I should've let you taste."

Zeus: yes, let him taste it, so he could spontaneously combust and I never have to see his SORRY ASS AGAIN!

Hera: CALM YOURSELF HUSBAND!

She glared at him till he did so

Hera: that's better

**His eyes got wide. "No! That's not what I meant. I just... wondered."**

"Chocolate-chip cookies," I said. "My mom's. Homemade."

He sighed. "And how do you feel?"

"Like I could throw Nancy Bobofit a hundred yards."

"That's good," he said. "That's good. I don't think you could risk drinking any more of that stuff."

"What do you mean?"

He took the empty glass from me gingerly, as if it were dynamite, and set it back on the table. "Come on. Chiron and Mr. D are waiting."

The porch wrapped all the way around the farmhouse.

My legs felt wobbly, trying to walk that far. Grover offered to carry the Minotaur horn, but I held on to it. I'd paid for that souvenir the hard way. I wasn't going to let it go.

As we came around the opposite end of the house, I caught my breath.

We must've been on the north shore of Long Island, because on this side of the house, the valley marched all the way up to the water, which glittered about a mile in the distance. Between here and there, I simply couldn't process everything I was seeing. The landscape was dotted with buildings that looked like ancient Greek architecture - an open-air pavilion, an amphitheater, a circular arena - except that they all looked brand new, their white marble columns sparkling in the sun. In a nearby sandpit, a dozen high school-age kids and satyrs played volleyball. Canoes glided across a small lake. Kids in bright orange T-shirts like Grover's were chasing each other around a cluster of cabins nestled in the woods. Some shot targets at an archery range. Others rode horses down a wooded trail, and, unless I was hallucinating, some of their horses had wings.

The Titans looked shocked, 'All that stuff for them. Lucky' they all thought****

Down at the end of the porch, two men sat across from each other at a card table. The blond-haired girl who'd spoon-fed me popcorn-flavored pudding was leaning on the porch rail next to them.

The man facing me was small, but porky. He had a red nose, big watery eyes, and curly hair so black it was almost purple. He looked like those paintings of baby angels - what do you call them, hubbubs? No, cherubs. That's it. He looked like a cherub who'd turned middle-aged in a trailer park. He wore a tiger-pattern Hawaiian shirt, and he would've fit right in at one of Gabe's poker parties, except I got the feeling this guy could've out-gambled even my stepfather.

Dionysus' eyes flared

Dionysus: .NOT. IN A FREAKING TRAILER PARK!

**"That's Mr. D," Grover murmured to me. "He's the camp director. Be polite. The girl, that's Annabeth Chase. She's just a camper, but she's been here longer than just about anybody. And you already know Chiron... ."**

He pointed at the guy whose back was to me.

First, I realized he was sitting in the wheelchair. Then I recognized the tweed jacket, the thinning brown hair, the scraggly beard.

"Mr. Brunner!" I cried.

The Latin teacher turned and smiled at me. His eyes had that mischievous glint they sometimes got in class when he pulled a pop quiz and made all the multiple choice answers B.

"Ah, good, Percy," he said. "Now we have four for pinochle."

He offered me a chair to the right of Mr. D, who looked at me with bloodshot eyes and heaved a great sigh. "Oh, I suppose I must say it. Welcome to CampHalf-Blood. There. Now, don't expect me to be glad to see you."

"Uh, thanks." I scooted a little farther away from him because, if there was one thing I had learned from living with Gabe, it was how to tell when an adult has been hitting the happy juice. If Mr. D was a stranger to alcohol, I was a satyr.

"Annabeth?" Mr. Brunner called to the blond girl.

She came forward and Mr. Brunner introduced us. "This young lady nursed you back to health, Percy. Annabeth, my dear, why don't you go check on Percy's bunk? We'll be putting him in cabin eleven for now."

Annabeth said, "Sure, Chiron."

She was probably my age, maybe a couple of inches taller, and a whole lot more athletic looking. With her deep tan and her curly blond hair, she was almost exactly what I thought a stereotypical California girl would look like, except her eyes ruined the image. They were startling gray, like storm clouds; pretty, but intimidating, too, as if she were analyzing the best way to take me down in a fight.

She glanced at the minotaur horn in my hands, then back at me. I imagined she was going to say, You killed a minotaur! or Wow, you're so awesome! or something like that.

Instead she said, "You drool when you sleep."  


Apollo and Hermes: WOW!

Then bursted into laughter**  
**

**Then she sprinted off down the lawn, her blond hair flying behind her.**

"So," I said, anxious to change the subject. "You, uh, work here, Mr. Brunner?"

"Not Mr. Brunner," the ex - Mr. Brunner said. "I'm afraid that was a pseudonym. You may call me Chiron."

"Okay." Totally confused, I looked at the director. "And Mr. D ... does that stand for something?"

Mr. D stopped shuffling the cards. He looked at me like I'd just belched loudly. "Young man, names are powerful things. You don't just go around using them for no reason."

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

"I must say, Percy," Chiron-Brunner broke in, "I'm glad to see you alive. It's been a long time since I've made a house call to a potential camper. I'd hate to think I've wasted my time."

"House call?"

"My year at YancyAcademy, to instruct you. We have satyrs at most schools, of course, keeping a lookout. But Grover alerted me as soon as he met you. He sensed you were something special, so I decided to come upstate. I convinced the other Latin teacher to ... ah, take a leave of absence."

I tried to remember the beginning of the school year. It seemed like so long ago, but I did have a fuzzy memory of there being another Latin teacher my first week at Yancy. Then, without explanation, he had disappeared and Mr. Brunner had taken the class.

"You came to Yancy just to teach me?" I asked.

Ares: and Egomania begins….

Everyone looked at him weirdly****

Chiron nodded. "Honestly, I wasn't sure about you at first. We contacted your mother, let her know we were keeping an eye on you in case you were ready for CampHalf-Blood. But you still had so much to learn. Nevertheless, you made it here alive, and that's always the first test."

"Grover," Mr. D said impatiently, "are you playing or not?"

"Yes, sir!" Grover trembled as he took the fourth chair, though I didn't know why he should be so afraid of a pudgy little man in a tiger-print Hawaiian shirt.

"I'm afraid not," I said.

"I'm afraid not, sir," he said.

"Sir," I repeated. I was liking the camp director less and less.

Hermes:Your not the only one

Everyone snickered as Dionysus glared at the Thief God

****

"Well," he told me, "it is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the greatest games ever invented by humans. I would expect all civilized young men to know the rules."

"I'm sure the boy can learn," Chiron said.

"Please," I said, "what is this place? What am I doing here? Mr. Brun - Chiron - why would you go to Yancy Academy just to teach me?"

Mr. D snorted. "I asked the same question."

The camp director dealt the cards. Grover flinched every time one landed in his pile.

Chiron smiled at me sympathetically, the way he used to in Latin class, as if to let me know that no matter what my average was, I was his star student. He expected me to have the right answer.

"Percy," he said. "Did your mother tell you nothing?'

"She said ..." I remembered her sad eyes, looking out over the sea. "She told me she was afraid to send me here, even though my father had wanted her to. She said that once I was here, I probably couldn't leave. She wanted to keep me close to her."

"Typical," Mr. D said. "That's how they usually get killed. Young man, are you bidding or not?"

Hera threw her show at him

Dionysus: owww

Hera: that's not very subtle Dionysus

He glared at the Queen of the Gods  
**  
"What?" I asked.**

He explained, impatiently, how you bid in pinochle, and so I did.

"I'm afraid there's too much to tell," Chiron said. "I'm afraid our usual orientation film won't be sufficient."

"Orientation film?" I asked.

"No," Chiron decided. "Well, Percy. You know your friend Grover is a satyr. You know" - he pointed to the horn in the shoe box - "that you have killed the Minotaur. No small feat, either, lad. What you may not know is that great powers are at work in your life. Gods - the forces you call the Greek gods - are very much alive."

I stared at the others around the table.

I waited for somebody to yell, Not! But all I got was Mr. D yelling, "Oh, a royal marriage. Trick! Trick!" He cackled as he tallied up his points.

"Mr. D," Grover asked timidly, "if you're not going to eat it, could I have your Diet Coke can?"

"Eh? Oh, all right."

Grover bit a huge shard out of the empty aluminum can and chewed it mournfully.

"Wait," I told Chiron. "You're telling me there's such a thing as God."

"Well, now," Chiron said. "God - capital G, God. That's a different matter altogether. We shan't deal with the metaphysical."

"Metaphysical? But you were just talking about - "

"Ah, gods, plural, as in, great beings that control the forces of nature and human endeavors: the immortal gods of Olympus. That's a smaller matter."  


Olympians minus Hestia: Excuse me!

Hestia: calm down everyone im sure he was just trying to get his point across

**"Smaller?"**

"Yes, quite. The gods we discussed in Latin class."

"Zeus," I said. "Hera. Apollo. You mean them."

Said Olympians Smirked

Poseidon: I wonder why he didn't mention me

Athena: because he probably has read more stories about the most obvious gods being them *pointing to Zeus, Hera, and Apollo*

Poseidon: mmm I see 

Athena rolled her eyes  
**  
And there it was again - distant thunder on a cloudless day.**

**"Young man," said Mr. D, "I would really be less casual about throwing those names around, if I were you."**

Zeus; why because you weren't mentioned

Dionysus: maybe….

Zeus kept a close watch on Dionysus

**"But they're stories," I said. "They're - myths, to explain lightning and the seasons and stuff. They're what people believed before there was science."**

"Science!" Mr. D scoffed. "And tell me, Perseus Jackson" - I flinched when he said my real name, which I never told anybody - "what will people think of your 'science' two thousand years from now?" Mr. D continued. "Hmm? They will call it primitive mumbo jumbo. That's what. Oh, I love mortals - they have absolutely no sense of perspective. They think they've come so-o-o far. And have they, Chiron? Look at this boy and tell me."

I wasn't liking Mr. D much, but there was something about the way he called me mortal, as if... he wasn't. It was enough to put a lump in my throat, to suggest why Grover was dutifully minding his cards, chewing his soda can, and keeping his mouth shut.

"Percy," Chiron said, "you may choose to believe or not, but the fact is that immortal means immortal. Can you imagine that for a moment, never dying? Never fading? Existing, just as you are, for all time?"

I was about to answer, off the top of my head, that it sounded like a pretty good deal, but the tone of Chiron's voice made me hesitate.

"You mean, whether people believed in you or not," I said.

"Exactly," Chiron agreed. "If you were a god, how would you like being called a myth, an old story to explain lightning? What if I told you, Perseus Jackson, that someday people would call you a myth, just created to explain how little boys can get over losing their mothers?"  


Poseidon: that was a little far there Chrion

**My heart pounded. He was trying to make me angry for some reason, but I wasn't going to let him. I said, "I wouldn't like it. But I don't believe in gods."**

"Oh, you'd better," Mr. D murmured. "Before one of them incinerates you."

Poseidon: and then id incinerate you

Dionysus laughed

Dionysus: you cant im a god!

Zeus: then ill turn you back into a Demigod then vaporize you

Dionysus gulped in fear while Zeus smirked triumphantly yet again  
**  
Grover said, "P-please, sir. He's just lost his mother. He's in shock."**

"A lucky thing, too," Mr. D grumbled, playing a card. "Bad enough I'm confined to this miserable job, working with boys who don't even believe.'"

He waved his hand and a goblet appeared on the table, as if the sunlight had bent, momentarily, and woven the air into glass. The goblet filled itself with red wine.

Zeus: have you learned nothing boy!

Dionysus: I might be showing him tha I am a god

Athena: well that's a first, Dionysus being logical

Dionysus was about to glare but knew better than to do it toward to the Goddess of War

Zeus: okay as long as that's ALL your doing, im okay with it  
**  
My jaw dropped, but Chiron hardly looked up.**

"Mr. D," he warned, "your restrictions."

Mr. D looked at the wine and feigned surprise.

"Dear me." He looked at the sky and yelled, "Old habits! Sorry!"

Zeus: old habits my ass

Hera smacked him

Everyone laughed  
**  
More thunder.**

Mr. D waved his hand again, and the wineglass changed into a fresh can of Diet Coke. He sighed unhappily, popped the top of the soda, and went back to his card game.

Chiron winked at me. "Mr. D offended his father a while back, took a fancy to a wood nymph who had been declared off-limits."

"A wood nymph," I repeated, still staring at the Diet Coke can like it was from outer space.

"Yes," Mr. D confessed. "Father loves to punish me. The first time, Prohibition. Ghastly! Absolutely horrid ten years! The second time - well, she really was pretty, and I couldn't stay away - the second time, he sent me here. Half-Blood Hill. Summer camp for brats like you. 'Be a better influence,' he told me. 'Work with youths rather than tearing them down.' Ha.' Absolutely unfair."

Mr. D sounded about six years old, like a pouting little kid.

"And ..." I stammered, "your father is ..."

"Di immortales, Chiron," Mr. D said. "I thought you taught this boy the basics. My father is Zeus, of course."

I ran through D names from Greek mythology. Wine. The skin of a tiger. The satyrs that all seemed to work here. The way Grover cringed, as if Mr. D were his master.

"You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine."

Dionysus: well give the boy a prize, he finally figure me out

Zeus: watch yourself boy

Dionysus rolled his eyes when his father wasn't looking  
**  
Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say, these days, Grover? Do the children say, 'Well, duh!'?"**

"Y-yes, Mr. D."

"Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?"

Aphrodite: Excuse me!

Aphrodite shrieked

Dionysus: what I was just setting an Example

Aphrodite: you wish you were like me, Dino Crisis

Dionysus: its DIONYSUS!

Aphrodite: I don't care, that is the biggest insult ive ever heard, comparing me with a fat, out-of-shape cherub, who looks like a middle aged farmer from Kansas

Everyone was shocked at the outburst of Aphrodite

Dionysus: you know what

Dionysus snapped his fingers and Aphrodite was covered in red wine

Aphrodite: OH MY US! DIONYSUS, YOU ARE SO DEAD

And with that Dionysus ran out of the room with Aphrodite on his tail, with Hermes and Apollo following to capture the moment

Zeus: what a show, continue reading

**"You're a god."**

"Yes, child."

"A god. You."

**He turned to look at me straight on, and I saw a kind of purplish fire in his eyes, a hint that this whiny, plump little man was only showing me the tiniest bit of his true nature. I saw visions of grape vines choking unbelievers to death, drunken warriors insane with battle lust, sailors screaming as their hands turned to flippers, their faces elongating into dolphin snouts. I knew that if I pushed him, Mr. D would show me worse things. He would plant a disease in my brain that would leave me wearing a strait-jacket in a rubber room for the rest of my life.**

"Would you like to test me, child?" he said quietly.

"No. No, sir."

The fire died a little. He turned back to his card game. "I believe I win."

"Not quite, Mr. D," Chiron said. He set down a straight, tallied the points, and said, "The game goes to me."

I thought Mr. D was going to vaporize Chiron right out of his wheelchair, but he just sighed through his nose, as if he were used to being beaten by the Latin teacher. He got up, and Grover rose, too.

"I'm tired," Mr. D said. "I believe I'll take a nap before the sing-along tonight. But first, Grover, we need to talk, again, about your less-than-perfect performance on this assignment."

Grover's face beaded with sweat. "Y-yes, sir."

Mr. D turned to me. "Cabin eleven, Percy Jackson. And mind your manners."

He swept into the farmhouse, Grover following miserably.

"Will Grover be okay?" I asked Chiron.

Chiron nodded, though he looked a bit troubled. "Old Dionysus isn't really mad. He just hates his job. He's been ... ah, grounded, I guess you would say, and he can't stand waiting another century before he's allowed to go back to Olympus."

"MountOlympus," I said. "You're telling me there really is a palace there?"  


Athena: used to be, until the flame moved to different locations throughout time, and yes Mt Olympus is still there….the Mountain I mean

**"Well now, there's MountOlympus in Greece. And then there's the home of the gods, the convergence point of their powers, which did indeed used to be on MountOlympus. It's still called MountOlympus, out of respect to the old ways, but the palace moves, Percy, just as the gods do."**

"You mean the Greek gods are here? Like ... in America?"  


Ares: no were on planet Dumbshit and we are all Prostitutes for King Crapface

Everyone laughed hysterically at that

Who knew Ares had a sense of humor

**"Well, certainly. The gods move with the heart of the West."**

"The what?"

"Come now, Percy. What you call 'Western civilization.' Do you think it's just an abstract concept? No, it's a living force. A collective consciousness that has burned bright for thousands of years. The gods are part of it. You might even say they are the source of it, or at least, they are tied so tightly to it that they couldn't possibly fade, not unless all of Western civilization were obliterated. The fire started in Greece. Then, as you well know - or as I hope you know, since you passed my course - the heart of the fire moved to Rome, and so did the gods. Oh, different names, perhaps - Jupiter for Zeus, Venus for Aphrodite, and so on - but the same forces, the same gods."

"And then they died."

Zeus: DO WE LOOK DEAD!

Poseidon: you know he can hear you

Zeus snapped his finger and percy of the present came , he stared at all the deities until zeus spoke out

Zeus: DO WE LOOK DEAD TO YOU IDIOT!

Percy was so scared he wet himself

Percy: no…no. sir

Zeus: good

He snapped his fingers and he was gone

Poseidon glared at Zeus****

"Died? No. Did the West die? The gods simply moved, to Germany, to France, to Spain, for a while. Wherever the flame was brightest, the gods were there. They spent several centuries in England. All you need to do is look at the architecture. People do not forget the gods. Every place they've ruled, for the last three thousand years, you can see them in paintings, in statues, on the most important buildings. And yes, Percy, of course they are now in your United States. Look at your symbol, the eagle of Zeus. Look at the statue of Prometheus in RockefellerCenter, the Greek facades of your government buildings in Washington. I defy you to find any American city where the Olympians are not prominently displayed in multiple places. Like it or not - and believe me, plenty of people weren't very fond of Rome, either - America is now the heart of the flame. It is the great power of the West. And so Olympus is here. And we are here."  


Prometheus: ahhh they got a statue of me in a Building, that's Grand

Zeus: whatever, im just glad they have my Symbol for their National Bird

**It was all too much, especially the fact that I seemed to be included in Chiron's we, as if I were part of some club.**

"Who are you, Chiron? Who ... who am I?"

Chiron smiled. He shifted his weight as if he were going to get up out of his wheelchair, but I knew that was impossible. He was paralyzed from the waist down.

"Who are you?" he mused. "Well, that's the question we all want answered, isn't it? But for now, we should get you a bunk in cabin eleven. There will be new friends to meet. And plenty of time for lessons tomorrow. Besides, there will be s'mores at the campfire tonight, and I simply adore chocolate."

And then he did rise from his wheelchair. But there was something odd about the way he did it. His blanket fell away from his legs, but the legs didn't move. His waist kept getting longer, rising above his belt. At first, I thought he was wearing very long, white velvet underwear, but as he kept rising out of the chair, taller than any man, I realized that the velvet underwear wasn't underwear; it was the front of an animal, muscle and sinew under coarse white fur. And the wheelchair wasn't a chair. It was some kind of container, an enormous box on wheels, and it must've been magic, because there's no way it could've held all of him. A leg came out, long and knobby-kneed, with a huge polished hoof. Then another front leg, then hindquarters, and then the box was empty, nothing but a metal shell with a couple of fake human legs attached.

I stared at the horse who had just sprung from the wheelchair: a huge white stallion. But where its neck should be was the upper body of my Latin teacher, smoothly grafted to the horse's trunk.

"What a relief," the centaur said. "I'd been cooped up in there so long, my fetlocks had fallen asleep. Now, come, Percy Jackson. Let's meet the other campers."

Helios: okay whos next

Dionysus and Aphrodite came in both had bruises ut Dionysus more

Aphrodite: now, do you get he message now

Dionysus: yes I get it don't compare anymore

Zeus: I will read next

Helios tossed him the book.


	7. Chapter 7

**I BECOME SUPREME LORD OF THE BATHROOM**

Zeus: ugh I just had to get this chapter

Hermes: relax dadster, it could be worse

Zeus: how so?

Hermes:You could be Dionysus

Then He and Apollo laughed while Zeus smirked and Dionysus glared

**Once I got over the fact that my Latin teacher was a horse, we had a nice tour, though I was careful not to walk behind him. I'd done pooper-scooper patrol in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade a few times, and, I'm sorry, I did not trust Chiron's back end the way I trusted his front.**

We passed the volleyball pit. Several of the campers nudged each other. One pointed to the minotaur horn I was carrying. Another said, "That's him."

Most of the campers were older than me. Their satyr friends were bigger than Grover, all of them trotting around in orange CAMPHALF-BLOOD T-shirts, with nothing else to cover their bare shaggy hindquarters. I wasn't normally shy, but the way they stared at me made me uncomfortable. I felt like they were expecting me to do a flip or something.

I looked back at the farmhouse. It was a lot bigger than I'd realized - four stories tall, sky blue with white trim, like an upscale seaside resort. I was checking out the brass eagle weather vane on top when something caught my eye, a shadow in the uppermost window of the attic gable. Something had moved the curtain, just for a second, and I got the distinct impression I was being watched.

"What's up there?" I asked Chiron.

He looked where I was pointing, and his smile faded. "Just the attic."

"Somebody lives there?"

"No," he said with finality. "Not a single living thing."

I got the feeling he was being truthful. But I was also sure something had moved that curtain.

"Come along, Percy," Chiron said, his lighthearted tone now a little forced. "Lots to see."

We walked through the strawberry fields, where campers were picking bushels of berries while a satyr played a tune on a reed pipe.

Chiron told me the camp grew a nice crop for export to New York restaurants and MountOlympus. "It pays our expenses," he explained. "And the strawberries take almost no effort."

He said Mr. D had this effect on fruit-bearing plants: they just went crazy when he was around. It worked best with wine grapes, but Mr. D was restricted from growing those, so they grew strawberries instead.

I watched the satyr playing his pipe. His music was causing lines of bugs to leave the strawberry patch in every direction, like refugees fleeing a fire. I wondered if Grover could work that kind of magic with music. I wondered if he was still inside the farmhouse, getting chewed out by Mr. D.

"Grover won't get in too much trouble, will he?" I asked Chiron. "I mean ... he was a good protector. Really."

Chiron sighed. He shed his tweed jacket and draped it over his horses back like a saddle. "Grover has big dreams, Percy. Perhaps bigger than are reasonable. To reach his goal, he must first demonstrate great courage by succeeding as a keeper, finding a new camper and bringing him safely to Half-Blood Hill."

"But he did that!"

"I might agree with you," Chiron said. "But it is not my place to judge. Dionysus and the Council of Cloven Elders must decide. I'm afraid they might not see this assignment as a success. After all, Grover lost you in New York. Then there's the unfortunate ... ah ... fate of your mother. And the fact that Grover was unconscious when you dragged him over the property line. The council might question whether this shows any courage on Grover's part."

I wanted to protest. None of what happened was Grover's fault. I also felt really, really guilty. If I hadn't given Grover the slip at the bus station, he might not have gotten in trouble.

"He'll get a second chance, won't he?"

Chiron winced. "I'm afraid that was Grover's second chance, Percy. The council was not anxious to give him another, either, after what happened the first time, five years ago. Olympus knows, I advised him to wait longer before trying again. He's still so small for his age... ."

"How old is he?"

"Oh, twenty-eight."

"What! And he's in sixth grade?"

"Satyrs mature half as fast as humans, Percy. Grover has been the equivalent of a middle school student for the past six years."

"That's horrible."

"Quite," Chiron agreed. "At any rate, Grover is a late bloomer, even by satyr standards, and not yet very accomplished at woodland magic. Alas, he was anxious to pursue his dream. Perhaps now he will find some other career... ."

"That's not fair," I said. "What happened the first time? Was it really so bad?"

Chiron looked away quickly. "Let's move along, shall we?"

But I wasn't quite ready to let the subject drop. Something had occurred to me when Chiron talked about my mother's fate, as if he were intentionally avoiding the word death. The beginnings of an idea - a tiny, hopeful fire - started forming in my mind.

"Chiron," I said. "If the gods and Olympus and all that are real ..."

"Yes, child?"

"Does that mean the Underworld is real, too?"  


Poseidon: no, hes not thinking….

Hades: I think he is, hes coming into my Domain

He said smirking  
**Chiron's expression darkened.**

"Yes, child." He paused, as if choosing his words carefully. "There is a place where spirits go after death. But for now ... until we know more ... I would urge you to put that out of your mind."

"What do you mean, 'until we know more'?"

"Come, Percy. Let's see the woods."

As we got closer, I realized how huge the forest was. It took up at least a quarter of the valley, with trees so tall and thick, you could imagine nobody had been in there since the Native Americans.

Chiron said, "The woods are stocked, if you care to try your luck, but go armed."

"Stocked with what?" I asked. "Armed with what?"

Ares: Weapons! Of course!

Athena: he wasn't gonna know that, Ares

Ares: pssh

****

"You'll see. Capture the flag is Friday night. Do you have your own sword and shield?"

"My own - ?"

"No," Chiron said. "I don't suppose you do. I think a size five will do. I'll visit the armory later."

I wanted to ask what kind of summer camp had an armory, but there was too much else to think about, so the tour continued. We saw the archery range, the canoeing lake, the stables (which Chiron didn't seem to like very much), the javelin range, the sing-along amphitheater, and the arena where Chiron said they held sword and spear fights.

"Sword and spear fights?" I asked.

Ares: greatest weapons for fighting****

"Cabin challenges and all that," he explained. "Not lethal. Usually. Oh, yes, and there's the mess hall."

Chiron pointed to an outdoor pavilion framed in white Grecian columns on a hill overlooking the sea. There were a dozen stone picnic tables. No roof. No walls.

"What do you do when it rains?" I asked.

Dionysus: nothing because it never does!

Zeus looked at him carefully

Dionysus: what Father!

Zeus: do not take that tone with me

Dionysus: what tone?

Zeus scoffed and then proceded to continue with the book****

Chiron looked at me as if I'd gone a little weird. "We still have to eat, don't we?" I decided to drop the subject.

Finally, he showed me the cabins. There were twelve of them, nestled in the woods by the lake. They were arranged in a U, with two at the base and five in a row on either side. And they were without doubt the most bizarre collection of buildings I'd ever seen.  


The Olympians agreed to some extent****

Except for the fact that each had a large brass number above the door (odds on the left side, evens on the right), they looked absolutely nothing alike. Number nine had smokestacks, like a tiny factory.

Hephaestus smirked at his cabin's mention

**Number four had tomato vines on the walls and a roof made out of real grass.**

Demeter smiled at the mention of hers

**Seven seemed to be made of solid gold, which gleamed so much in the sunlight it was almost impossible to look at.**

Apollo: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNE!

He smiled so bright it blinded everyone, until someone punched him in the stomach

Apollo: ouch! Who did that

No one answered, but he had a good idea of who did it

**They all faced a commons area about the size of a soccer field, dotted with Greek statues, fountains, flower beds, and a couple of basketball hoops (which were more my speed).**

In the center of the field was a huge stone-lined firepit. Even though it was a warm afternoon, the hearth smoldered. A girl about nine years old was tending the flames, poking the coals with a stick.

Hestia smiled warmly

Hestia: he saw me, not many do

Poseidon smiled at his sister  
**  
The pair of cabins at the head of the field, numbers one and two, looked like his-and-hers mausoleums, big white marble boxes with heavy columns in front. Cabin one was the biggest and bulkiest of the twelve. Its polished bronze doors shimmered like a hologram, so that from different angles lightning bolts seemed to streak across them. Cabin two was more graceful somehow, with slimmer columns garlanded with pomegranates and flowers. The walls were carved with images of peacocks.**

Hera smiled****

"Zeus and Hera?" I guessed.

"Correct," Chiron said.

"Their cabins look empty."

Hera: as they should be

Zeus: as they should be * Zeus mocked her quietly, but she heard him*

Hera glared at him

Zeus: sorry, you sounded pegcockatanish

Hera: what?

Zeus: you sounded pegcoc-

Hera: I know what you said but why would you say that

Zeus: cause that's what you were acting like

Hera: I don't even know what that means

She said rolling her eyes

**  
"Several of the cabins are. That's true. No one ever stays in one or two."**

Okay. So each cabin had a different god, like a mascot. Twelve cabins for the twelve Olympians. But why would some be empty?

I stopped in front of the first cabin on the left, cabin three.

Poseidon: my cabin beckens to him****

It wasn't high and mighty like cabin one, but long and low and solid. The outer walls were of rough gray stone studded with pieces of seashell and coral, as if the slabs had been hewn straight from the bottom of the ocean floor. I peeked inside the open doorway and Chiron said, "Oh, I wouldn't do that!"

Poseidon: and why not?

Athena: because you don't just go wandering into some random Gods Cabin, that would probably result in serious injurt by the kids or their parent

**Before he could pull me back, I caught the salty scent of the interior, like the wind on the shore at Montauk. The interior walls glowed like abalone. There were six empty bunk beds with silk sheets turned down. But there was no sign anyone had ever slept there. The place felt so sad and lonely, I was glad when Chiron put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Come along, Percy."**

Most of the other cabins were crowded with campers.

Number five was bright red - a real nasty paint job, as if the color had been splashed on with buckets and fists. The roof was lined with barbed wire. A stuffed wild boar's head hung over the doorway, and its eyes seemed to follow me. Inside I could see a bunch of mean-looking kids, both girls and boys, arm wrestling and arguing with each other while rock music blared. The loudest was a girl maybe thirteen or fourteen. She wore a size XXXL CAMP HALF-BLOOD T-shirt under a camouflage jacket. She zeroed in on me and gave me an evil sneer. She reminded me of Nancy Bobofit, though the camper girl was much bigger and tougher looking, and her hair was long and stringy, and brown instead of red.

Ares beamed proudly

Ares: that's my girl, that's my Clarisse!  
**  
I kept walking, trying to stay clear of Chiron's hooves. "We haven't seen any other centaurs," I observed.**

****

"No," said Chiron sadly. "My kinsmen are a wild and barbaric folk, I'm afraid. You might encounter them in the wilderness, or at major sporting events. But you won't see any here."

Apollo and Hermes: PARTY PONIES! WHOOP WHOOP!****

"You said your name was Chiron. Are you really ..."

He smiled down at me. "The Chiron from the stories? Trainer of Hercules and all that? Yes, Percy, I am."

"But, shouldn't you be dead?"

Chiron paused, as if the question intrigued him. "I honestly don't know about should be. The truth is, I can't be dead. You see, eons ago the gods granted my wish. I could continue the work I loved. I could be a teacher of heroes as long as humanity needed me. I gained much from that wish ... and I gave up much. But I'm still here, so I can only assume I'm still needed."  


Poseidon: he wont be going anywhere anytime soon

**I thought about being a teacher for three thousand years. It wouldn't have made my Top Ten Things to Wish For list.**

"Doesn't it ever get boring?"

"No, no," he said. "Horribly depressing, at times, but never boring."

"Why depressing?"

Zeus grumbled****

Chiron seemed to turn hard of hearing again.

"Oh, look," he said. "Annabeth is waiting for us."  


Athena raised an eyebrow****

The blond girl I'd met at the Big House was reading a book in front of the last cabin on the left, number eleven.

Hermes whooped at the mention of his cabin****

When we reached her, she looked me over critically, like she was still thinking about how much I drooled.

Snickered were heard around the room****

I tried to see what she was reading, but I couldn't make out the title. I thought my dyslexia was acting up. Then I realized the title wasn't even English. The letters looked Greek to me. I mean, literally Greek. There were pictures of temples and statues and different kinds of columns, like those in an architecture book.

"Annabeth," Chiron said, "I have masters' archery class at noon. Would you take Percy from here?"

"Yes, sir."

"Cabin eleven," Chiron told me, gesturing toward the doorway. "Make yourself at home."

Out of all the cabins, eleven looked the most like a regular old summer camp cabin, with the emphasis on old. The threshold was worn down, the brown paint peeling. Over the doorway was one of those doctor's symbols, a winged pole with two snakes wrapped around it. What did they call it... ? A caduceus.

Inside, it was packed with people, both boys and girls, way more than the number of bunk beds. Sleeping bags were spread all over on the floor. It looked like a gym where the Red Cross had set up an evacuation center.

Hermes then glared at the gods and goddesses who had kids

Hermes: .KIDS!

**Chiron didn't go in. The door was too low for him. But when the campers saw him they all stood and bowed respectfully.**

"Well, then," Chiron said. "Good luck, Percy. I'll see you at dinner."

He galloped away toward the archery range.

I stood in the doorway, looking at the kids. They weren't bowing anymore. They were staring at me, sizing me up. I knew this routine. I'd gone through it at enough schools.

"Well?" Annabeth prompted. "Go on."

So naturally I tripped coming in the door and made a total fool of myself. There were some snickers from the campers, but none of them said anything.

Annabeth announced, "Percy Jackson, meet cabin eleven.

"Regular or undetermined?" somebody asked.

I didn't know what to say, but Annabeth said, "Undetermined."

Everybody groaned.

Hermes stood up with an angered expression on his face

Hermes: my kids shouldn't have to have their cabin full of your children.. SO CLAIM THEM!

Zeus: Hermes! SIT DOWN *thunder rumbled

Hermes: father you know as well as I , that this is isn't acceptable,my kids should have their own cabin.

Zeus: I understand that, but sit so we can continue, and the faster we continue the sooner the gods can claim their children Right!

*Zeus looked at the gods with children *

The Olympians who had children: Right

****

A guy who was a little older than the rest came forward. "Now, now, campers. That's what we're here for. Welcome, Percy. You can have that spot on the floor, right over there."

Hermes smiled 'Luke' he thought****

The guy was about nineteen, and he looked pretty cool. He was tall and muscular, with short-cropped sandy hair and a friendly smile. He wore an orange tank top, cutoffs, sandals, and a leather necklace with five different-colored clay beads. The only thing unsettling about his appearance was a thick white scar that ran from just beneath his right eye to his jaw, like an old knife slash.  


Hermes grimaced ' Garden of Hesperides' he thought

**"This is Luke," Annabeth said, and her voice sounded different somehow. I glanced over and could've sworn she was blushing. She saw me looking, and her expression hardened again. "He's your counselor for now."**

"For now?" I asked.

"You're undetermined," Luke explained patiently. "They don't know what cabin to put you in, so you're here. Cabin eleven takes all newcomers, all visitors. Naturally, we would. Hermes, our patron, is the god of travelers."

I looked at the tiny section of floor they'd given me. I had nothing to put there to mark it as my own, no luggage, no clothes, no sleeping bag. Just the Minotaur's horn. I thought about setting that down, but then I remembered that Hermes was also the god of thieves.

Hermes: awww *he complained*

Poseidon: my son paid for that spoil the hard way Hermes!

Hermes: I mean…I…uh..umm….. well my children are theivets and take after me, and plus I don't think we knew that he lost his mother at the time.

Poseidon: nice save captain Crunch *he grumbled*****

I looked around at the campers' faces, some sullen and suspicious, some grinning stupidly, some eyeing me as if they were waiting for a chance to pick my pockets.

"How long will I be here?" I asked.

"Good question," Luke said. "Until you're determined."

"How long will that take?"

The campers all laughed.  


The Gods looked down

Athena: poor kids

Aphrodite: I cant imagine how they feel

Apollo: yeah, you know what how about after this Book we claim our kids

Athena and Aphrodite smiled

Demeter: that's a wonderful idea

Helios cleared his throat

Helios: I don't mean to pry, but where and who are these kids of yours?

Ares sneered at him

Ares: none of your business Sun fucker!

Hyperion got angry

Hyperion: DO NOT DARE INSULT MY SON YOU COWARDESS WAR BASTARD!

Ares: you want to see power?

Hyperion: I can burn you slowly so you feel yourself being cooked like a rotisery animal on a fire!

Kronos and Zeus: That's enough Ares/Hyperion sit down before I punish you with sky bearing!

Kronos and Zeus looked at eachother weirdly

Kronos: what do you mean Sky bearing? Someone holds the sky in this time?

Zeus: yes father someone does

He said looking at Atlas**  
**

**"Come on," Annabeth told me. "I'll show you the volleyball court."**

"I've already seen it."

"Come on." She grabbed my wrist and dragged me outside. I could hear the kids of cabin eleven laughing behind me.

When we were a few feet away, Annabeth said, "Jackson, you have to do better than that."

"What?"

She rolled her eyes and mumbled under her breath, "I can't believe I thought you were the one."

"What's your problem?" I was getting angry now. "All I know is, I kill some bull guy - "

"Don't talk like that!" Annabeth told me. "You know how many kids at this camp wish they'd had your chance?"

"To get killed?"

"To fight the Minotaur! What do you think we train for?"

Phoebe: well isn't she a bushel of roses

Athena was about to retort something about bushels not being rose territory but decided against it****

I shook my head. "Look, if the thing I fought really was the Minotaur, the same one in the stories ..."

"Yes."

"Then there's only one."

"Yes."

"And he died, like, a gajillion years ago, right? Theseus killed him in the labyrinth. So ..."

"Monsters don't die, Percy. They can be killed. But they don't die."  


Apollo: like that clears it up

**"Oh, thanks. That clears it up."  
**

Apollo blushed

**"They don't have souls, like you and me. You can dispel them for a while, maybe even for a whole lifetime if you're lucky. But they are primal forces. Chiron calls them archetypes. Eventually, they re-form."**

I thought about Mrs. Dodds. "You mean if I killed one, accidentally, with a sword - "

"The Fur ... I mean, your math teacher. That's right. She's still out there. You just made her very, very mad."

"How did you know about Mrs. Dodds?"

"You talk in your sleep."

****

"You almost called her something. A Fury? They're Hades' torturers, right?"

Annabeth glanced nervously at the ground, as if she expected it to open up and swallow her. "You shouldn't call them by name, even here. We call them the Kindly Ones, if we have to speak of them at all."

"Look, is there anything we can say without it thundering?" I sounded whiny, even to myself, but right then I didn't care. "Why do I have to stay in cabin eleven, anyway? Why is everybody so crowded together? There are plenty of empty bunks right over there."

I pointed to the first few cabins, and Annabeth turned pale. "You don't just choose a cabin, Percy. It depends on who your parents are. Or ... your parent."  


Titans looked confused

Mnemosyne: so you guys have individual cabins for your children, and yet you don't claim them?

Demeter: we are going to after this book

Phoebe smiled at Mnemosyne, who smiled back

**She stared at me, waiting for me to get it.**

"My mom is Sally Jackson," I said. "She works at the candy store in Grand Central Station. At least, she used to."

Poseidon looked upset, sad, and angry at the same time****

"I'm sorry about your mom, Percy. But that's not what I mean. I'm talking about your other parent. Your dad."

"He's dead. I never knew him."

Everyone snorted****

Annabeth sighed. Clearly, she'd had this conversation before with other kids. "Your father's not dead, Percy."

"How can you say that? You know him?"

Poseidon: in a way yeah

Athena: at the Winter Solstice you mean

Poseidon: yes

Oceanus: wait, you guys carry on the Solstice meetings like us?

Zeus: yes, we meet and discuss important matters then-

Apollo: HAVE CRAZY ASS PARTIES!

Apollo got out of his throne, flickered the lights and played 'Surfin Bird' and danced like he had crabs in his pants, until Zeus struck him with his bolt

Apollo: Ouch?

he limped back to his throne, while the Titans were laughing at him, the Olympians just shooked their heads except Hermes and Ares

**"No, of course not."**

"Then how can you say - "

"Because I know you. You wouldn't be here if you weren't one of us."

"You don't know anything about me."

"No?" She raised an eyebrow. "I bet you moved around from school to school. I bet you were kicked out of a lot of them."

"How - "

"Diagnosed with dyslexia. Probably ADHD, too."

Hermes: oh boy that's gonna get to him****

I tried to swallow my embarrassment. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Taken together, it's almost a sure sign. The letters float off the page when you read, right? That's because your mind is hardwired for ancient Greek. And the ADHD - you're impulsive, can't sit still in the classroom. That's your battlefield reflexes. In a real fight, they'd keep you alive. As for the attention problems, that's because you see too much, Percy, not too little. Your senses are better than a regular mortal's. Of course the teachers want you medicated. Most of them are monsters. They don't want you seeing them for what they are."

"You sound like ... you went through the same thing?"

"Most of the kids here did. If you weren't like us, you couldn't have survived the Minotaur, much less the ambrosia and nectar."

"Ambrosia and nectar."

"The food and drink we were giving you to make you better. That stuff would've killed a normal kid. It would've turned your blood to fire and your bones to sand and you'd be dead. Face it. You're a half-blood."

A half-blood.

I was reeling with so many questions I didn't know where to start.

Then a husky voice yelled, "Well! A newbie!"

Ares beamed ****

I looked over. The big girl from the ugly red cabin was sauntering toward us. She had three other girls behind her, all big and ugly and mean looking like her, all wearing camo jackets.

"Clarisse," Annabeth sighed. "Why don't you go polish your spear or something?"

"Sure, Miss Princess," the big girl said. "So I can run you through with it Friday night."

Ares: YEAH! TELL HER OFF!

Hera: Sit down Son****

''Erre es korakas!" Annabeth said, which I somehow understood was Greek for 'Go to the crows!' though I had a feeling it was a worse curse than it sounded. "You don't stand a chance."

"We'll pulverize you," Clarisse said, but her eye twitched. Perhaps she wasn't sure she could follow through on the threat. She turned toward me. "Who's this little runt?"

"Percy Jackson," Annabeth said, "meet Clarisse, Daughter of Ares."

I blinked. "Like ... the war god?"

Clarisse sneered. "You got a problem with that?"

"No," I said, recovering my wits. "It explains the bad smell."

Ares Growled  
**  
Clarisse growled. "We got an initiation ceremony for newbies, Prissy."**

"Percy."  
Ares: What the Hell ever**  
"Whatever. Come on, I'll show you."**

"Clarisse - " Annabeth tried to say.

"Stay out of it, wise girl."

Annabeth looked pained, but she did stay out of it, and I didn't really want her help. I was the new kid. I had to earn my own rep.  


Everyone agreed

**I handed Annabeth my minotaur horn and got ready to fight, but before I knew it, Clarisse had me by the neck and was dragging me toward a cinder-block building that I knew immediately was the bathroom.  
**

Apollo and Hermes snickered

**I was kicking and punching. I'd been in plenty of fights before, but this big girl Clarisse had hands like iron. She dragged me into the girls' bathroom. There was a line of toilets on one side and a line of shower stalls down the other. It smelled just like any public bathroom, and I was thinking - as much as I could think with Clarisse ripping my hair out - that if this place belonged to the gods, they should've been able to afford classier johns.  
**

Zeus: Dionysus you rea….

He realized Dionysus fell asleep yet again

Zeus stomped over with a loaf of Wonder bread and started hitting him with it and cursing at him for not following the one thing he asked him to do

Dionysus: you didn't *Yawn* have to be so violent

Zeus threw the Wonder bread loaf at his face and then Scowled as he walked back to his throne.

Zeus: you will get new furnished bathroom fixtures for the camp, is that clear Dionysus?

Dionysus looked blankly at him

Dionysus: what? I wasn't liste-

Zeus: OF COURSE YOU WERENT! I SAID YOU WILL REFURNISH THOSE BATHROOMS AT CAMP AND I WILL BE WATCHING AS YOU DO IT!

Dionysus gulped

Dionysus: yes sir 

**Clarisse's friends were all laughing, and I was trying to find the strength I'd used to fight the Minotaur, but it just wasn't there.**

"Like he's 'Big Three' material," Clarisse said as she pushed me toward one of the toilets. "Yeah, right. Minotaur probably fell over laughing, he was so stupid looking."

Ares snickered****

Her friends snickered.

Annabeth stood in the corner, watching through her fingers.

Clarisse bent me over on my knees and started pushing my head toward the toilet bowl. It reeked like rusted pipes and, well, like what goes into toilets. I strained to keep my head up. I was looking at the scummy water, thinking, I will not go into that. I won't.

Then something happened. I felt a tug in the pit of my stomach. I heard the plumbing rumble, the pipes shudder. Clarisse's grip on my hair loosened. Water shot out of the toilet, making an arc straight over my head, and the next thing I knew, I was sprawled on the bathroom tiles with Clarisse screaming behind me.

Ares growled

Ares: noo! Finish him Clarisse!

Poseidon: SHUT UP ARES!

**I turned just as water blasted out of the toilet again, hitting Clarisse straight in the face so hard it pushed her down onto her butt. The water stayed on her like the spray from a fire hose, pushing her backward into a shower stall.**

She struggled, gasping, and her friends started coming toward her. But then the other toilets exploded, too, and six more streams of toilet water blasted them back. The showers acted up, too, and together all the fixtures sprayed the camouflage girls right out of the bathroom, spinning them around like pieces of garbage being washed away.

As soon as they were out the door, I felt the tug in my gut lessen, and the water shut off as quickly as it had started.

The entire bathroom was flooded. Annabeth hadn't been spared.

Athena crossed her arms and glared at Poseidon

**She was dripping wet, but she hadn't been pushed out the door. She was standing in exactly the same place, staring at me in shock.**

I looked down and realized I was sitting in the only dry spot in the whole room. There was a circle of dry floor around me. I didn't have one drop of water on my clothes. Nothing.

Hermes: that should be one clue as to who his Godly Parent is****

I stood up, my legs shaky.

Annabeth said, "How did you ..."

"I don't know."

We walked to the door. Outside, Clarisse and her friends were sprawled in the mud, and a bunch of other campers had gathered around to gawk. Clarisse's hair was flattened across her face. Her camouflage jacket was sopping and she smelled like sewage. She gave me a look of absolute hatred. "You are dead, new boy. You are totally dead."

Ares: Yes you are punk!

Poseidon doused him with water from the lowest point of the ocean and the highest point of the underworld  
**  
I probably should have let it go, but I said, "You want to gargle with toilet water again, Clarisse? Close your mouth."**

Hermes and Apollo: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHE GOT TOLD!

Ares: SHUT UP YOU SHIT FOR BRAINS

Apollo: aww his Ares getting fwustwated with what happened

Ares took out his sword and ran at Apollo who started to get out of the Throne room with Ares closing in behind.

Apollo:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!

Ares: THAT'S WHAT YOI GET PUNKASS GOD

Ares then returned to his seat 

Hermes: psst Ares, have a snickers, your not you when your hungry

Athena: Hermes he is the God of War, he is being him

Hermes: oh nevermind then

Atlas: are these people always like this

Kronos: I have no idea

Mnemosyne: its amusing to see how the Gods act like, perhaps we could learn from them

All Titans looked at her

Mnemosyne put her hands up

Mnemosyne: just a suggestion

**Her friends had to hold her back. They dragged her toward cabin five, while the other campers made way to avoid her flailing feet.**

Annabeth stared at me. I couldn't tell whether she was just grossed out or angry at me for dousing her.

"What?" I demanded. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking," she said, "that I want you on my team for capture the flag."

Zeus: who wants to read next?

Phoebe: I will

Zeus tossed her the book


	8. Chapter 8

**MY DINNER GOES UP IN SMOKE**

Phoebe read

**Word of the bathroom incident spread immediately. Wherever I went, campers pointed at me and murmured something about toilet water. Or maybe they were just staring at Annabeth, who was still pretty much dripping wet.  
**

Athena wasn't too happy about that

**She showed me a few more places: the metal shop (where kids were forging their own swords), the arts-and-crafts room (where satyrs were sandblasting a giant marble statue of a goat-man), and the climbing wall, which actually consisted of two facing walls that shook violently, dropped boulders, sprayed lava, and clashed together if you didn't get to the top fast enough.**

Dionysus: I loved watching them do that

Zeus: and why is that my dear son

He said it daring him to say he likes watching them get hurt

Dionysus: because the kids get quality training for war?

He chuckled, while Zeus didn't believe that's what he was gonna say****

Finally we returned to the canoeing lake, where the trail led back to the cabins.

"I've got training to do," Annabeth said flatly. "Dinner's at seven-thirty. Just follow your cabin to the mess hall."

"Annabeth, I'm sorry about the toilets."

"Whatever."

"It wasn't my fault."

Hermes: yes it was 

**She looked at me skeptically, and I realized it was my fault. I'd made water shoot out of the bathroom fixtures. I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing.**

"You need to talk to the Oracle," Annabeth said.

"Who?"

"Not who. What. The Oracle. I'll ask Chiron."

I stared into the lake, wishing somebody would give me a straight answer for once.

I wasn't expecting anybody to be looking back at me from the bottom, so my heart skipped a beat when I noticed two teenage girls sitting cross-legged at the base of the pier, about twenty feet below. They wore blue jeans and shimmering green T-shirts, and their brown hair floated loose around their shoulders as minnows darted in and out. They smiled and waved as if I were a long-lost friend.  


Hera: that's because he is or at least they know who he is

**I didn't know what else to do. I waved back.**

"Don't encourage them," Annabeth warned. "Naiads are terrible flirts."

"Naiads," I repeated, feeling completely overwhelmed. "That's it. I want to go home now."

All the Olympians Laughed along with the Titans

Helios: so he fights a Minotaur

Oceanus: eeh wait, before the Minotaur, he fought a fury

Hermes: then Pulls his water stunt which show of been obvious hes a son of Poseidon.

Apollo: and now because he saw a couple Naiads he wants to go home, its laughable

He said laughing

Artemis: just like you

Everyone laughed at that

Apollo: hey!

Ares: well Artemis isn't that different from Apollo so they both share that bonded statement

Said Olympians glared at him  
**  
Annabeth frowned. "Don't you get it, Percy? You are home. This is the only safe place on earth for kids like us."**

"You mean, mentally disturbed kids?"

"I mean not human. Not totally human, anyway. Half-human."

"Half-human and half-what?"  


Everyone shouted minus the Titans: God! 

**"I think you know."**

I didn't want to admit it, but I was afraid I did. I felt a tingling in my limbs, a sensation I sometimes felt when my mom talked about my dad.

"God," I said. "Half-god."

Annabeth nodded. "Your father isn't dead, Percy. He's one of the Olympians."

"That's ... crazy."

"Is it? What's the most common thing gods did in the old stories? They ran around falling in love with humans and having kids with them. Do you think they've changed their habits in the last few millennia?"

"But those are just - " I almost said myths again. Then I remembered Chiron's warning that in two thousand years, I might be considered a myth. "But if all the kids here are half-gods - "

"Demigods," Annabeth said. "That's the official term. Or half-bloods."

"Then who's your dad?"

Her hands tightened around the pier railing. I got the feeling I'd just trespassed on a sensitive subject.

"My dad is a professor at West Point," she said. "I haven't seen him since I was very small. He teaches American history."

"He's human."

"What? You assume it has to be a male god who finds a human female attractive? How sexist is that?"

All Goddesses:Very Sexist****

"Who's your mom, then?"

"Cabin six."

"Meaning?"

Annabeth straightened. "Athena. Goddess of wisdom and battle."

Okay, I thought. Why not?  


Athena: what is that supposed to mean?

Poseidon: that he figured she could be your daughter, considering the fact that she knew, what he was, his dyslexia and so forth

Athena: mmm I see, it's a wonder hwo you could figure that out Poseidon

Poseidon: it shouldn't be, your not the only smart Olympian

**"And my dad?"**

"Undetermined," Annabeth said, "like I told you before. Nobody knows."

"Except my mother. She knew."

"Maybe not, Percy. Gods don't always reveal their identities."

"My dad would have. He loved her."

Aphrodite squealed

Aphrodite: so precious!

**Annabeth gave me a cautious look. She didn't want to burst my bubble. "Maybe you're right. Maybe he'll send a sign. That's the only way to know for sure: your father has to send you a sign claiming you as his son. Sometimes it happens.**

"You mean sometimes it doesn't?"

Annabeth ran her palm along the rail. "The gods are busy. They have a lot of kids and they don't always ... Well, sometimes they don't care about us, Percy. They ignore us."

The Gods looked down, because they knew it was true****

I thought about some of the kids I'd seen in the Hermes cabin, teenagers who looked sullen and depressed, as if they were waiting for a call that would never come. I'd known kids like that at YancyAcademy, shuffled off to boarding school by rich parents who didn't have the time to deal with them. But gods should behave better.

Hera snorted

Hera: like that will happen

Zeus: you say that like you don't have problems

Hera: not as many as you

Zeus: au contrier ( idk if I spelled that right) you have just as many as me

Hera: name one

Zeus: Your Attitude

Hera: I guess that's a valid one

Zeus smirked in Triumph  
**  
"So I'm stuck here," I said. "That's it? For the rest of my life?"**

"It depends," Annabeth said. "Some campers only stay the summer. If you're a child of Aphrodite or Demeter, you're probably not a real powerful force.

Demeter and Aphrodite looked Offended

Demeter: EXCUSE ME! I AM ONE OF THE SIX CHILDREN OF KRONOS AND RHEA *cue smirk from kronos* I AM MORE POWERFUL THAN MORE THAN HALF OF THE INHABITANTS OF THE OLYMPIAN COUNCIL!

Aphrodite: yeah, and plus im a child of a Primordial God, far beyond the powers of any God or Titan Alike, and just because I smile and am caring doesn't mean im Weak!

**The monsters might ignore you, so you can get by with a few months of summer training and live in the mortal world the rest of the year. But for some of us, it's too dangerous to leave. We're year-rounders. In the mortal world, we attract monsters. They sense us. They come to challenge us. Most of the time, they'll ignore us until we're old enough to cause trouble - about ten or eleven years old, but after that, most demigods either make their way here, or they get killed off. A few manage to survive in the outside world and become famous. Believe me, if I told you the names, you'd know them. Some don't even realize they're demigods. But very, very few are like that."**

**Some gods smiled at how those children who aren't troubled with demigod issues live ordinary lives.**

Poseidon ' My boy Michael, is an all star Olympian swimmer' he beamed with pride

Apollo ' my boys are the greatest singers and artists ever to hit the musical world: MJ , John, Paul, George & Ringo'

Ares' my boy was the toughest pirate there ever was ,Blackbeard. But I wonder, where the hell did he go?'

Aphrodite ' my beautiful babies made everyone fall in love them all of them, Marilyn Monroe & Elizabeth Taylor im proud to be their Mother' she smiled with joy

****

"So monsters can't get in here?"

**Annabeth shook her head. "Not unless they're intentionally stocked in the woods or specially summoned by somebody on the inside."**

"Why would anybody want to summon a monster?"

"Practice fights. Practical jokes."

"Practical jokes?"

Hermes beamed with pride at his childrens pranks****

"The point is, the borders are sealed to keep mortals and monsters out. From the outside, mortals look into the valley and see nothing unusual, just a strawberry farm."

"So ... you're a year-rounder?"

Annabeth nodded. From under the collar of her T-shirt she pulled a leather necklace with five clay beads of different colors. It was just like Luke's, except Annabeth's also had a big gold ring strung on it, like a college ring.

"I've been here since I was seven," she said. "Every August, on the last day of summer session, you get a bead for surviving another year. I've been here longer than most of the counselors, and they're all in college."

"Why did you come so young?"

She twisted the ring on her necklace. "None of your business."

"Oh." I stood there for a minute in uncomfortable silence. "So ... I could just walk out of here right now if I wanted to?"

"It would be suicide, but you could, with Mr. D's or Chiron's permission. But they wouldn't give permission until the end of the summer session unless ..."

"Unless?"

"You were granted a quest. But that hardly ever happens. The last time ..."

Her voice trailed off. I could tell from her tone that the last time hadn't gone well.

"Back in the sick room," I said, "when you were feeding me that stuff - "

"Ambrosia."

"Yeah. You asked me something about the summer solstice."

Annabeth's shoulders tensed. "So you do know something?"

"Well... no. Back at my old school, I overheard Grover and Chiron talking about it. Grover mentioned the summer solstice. He said something like we didn't have much time, because of the deadline. What did that mean?"

She clenched her fists. "I wish I knew. Chiron and the satyrs, they know, but they won't tell me. Something is wrong in Olympus, something pretty major. Last time I was there, everything seemed so normal."

"You've been to Olympus?"

"Some of us year-rounders - Luke and Clarisse and I and a few others - we took a field trip during winter solstice. That's when the gods have their big annual council."

"But... how did you get there?"

"The Long Island Railroad, of course. You get off at Penn Station. EmpireStateBuilding, special elevator to the six hundredth floor." She looked at me like she was sure I must know this already. "You are a New Yorker, right?"  


Poseidon: no im not sure he did considering he didn't know about us then

**"Oh, sure." As far as I knew, there were only a hundred and two floors in the EmpireStateBuilding, but I decided not to point that out.**

"Right after we visited," Annabeth continued, "the weather got weird, as if the gods had started fighting. A couple of times since, I've overheard satyrs talking. The best I can figure out is that something important was stolen. And if it isn't returned by summer solstice, there's going to be trouble. When you came, I was hoping ... I mean - Athena can get along with just about anybody, except for Ares. And of course she's got the rivalry with Poseidon. But, I mean, aside from that, I thought we could work together. I thought you might know something."

I shook my head. I wished I could help her, but I felt too hungry and tired and mentally overloaded to ask any more questions.

"I've got to get a quest," Annabeth muttered to herself. "I'm not too young. If they would just tell me the problem ..."

I could smell barbecue smoke coming from somewhere nearby. Annabeth must've heard my stomach growl. She told me to go on, she'd catch me later. I left her on the pier, tracing her finger across the rail as if drawing a battle plan.

Back at cabin eleven, everybody was talking and horsing around, waiting for dinner. For the first time, I noticed that a lot of the campers had similar features: sharp noses, upturned eyebrows, mischievous smiles. They were the kind of kids that teachers would peg as troublemakers. Thankfully, nobody paid much attention to me as I walked over to my spot on the floor and plopped down with my minotaur horn.

The counselor, Luke, came over. He had the Hermes family resemblance, too. It was marred by that scar on his right cheek, but his smile was intact.

"Found you a sleeping bag," he said. "And here, I stole you some toiletries from the camp store."

Hermes beamed again at his son

Hermes: stealing for other people is just as great and shows he cares  
**  
I couldn't tell if he was kidding about the stealing part.  
**

Hermes: oh no, my kids never joke about stealing stuff

**I said, "Thanks."**

"No prob." Luke sat next to me, pushed his back against the wall. "Tough first day?"

"I don't belong here," I said. "I don't even believe in gods."

"Yeah," he said. "That's how we all started. Once you start believing in them? It doesn't get any easier."  


The Gods looked down

**The bitterness in his voice surprised me, because Luke seemed like a pretty easygoing guy. He looked like he could handle just about anything.**

"So your dad is Hermes?" I asked.

He pulled a switchblade out of his back pocket, and for a second I thought he was going to gut me, but he just scraped the mud off the sole of his sandal. "Yeah. Hermes."

Hermes frowned****

"The wing-footed messenger guy."  


Everyone including the Titans laughed

Apollo: that's Priceless!

Hermes: gee thanks cousin, appreciate that much

**"That's him. Messengers. Medicine. Travelers, merchants, thieves. Anybody who uses the roads. That's why you're here, enjoying cabin eleven's hospitality. Hermes isn't picky about who he sponsors."**

I figured Luke didn't mean to call me a nobody. He just had a lot on his mind.

"You ever meet your dad?" I asked.

"Once."

Hermes half smiled****

I waited, thinking that if he wanted to tell me, he'd tell me. Apparently, he didn't. I wondered if the story had anything to do with how he got his scar.

Luke looked up and managed a smile. "Don't worry about it, Percy. The campers here, they're mostly good people. After all, we're extended family, right? We take care of each other."

He seemed to understand how lost I felt, and I was grateful for that, because an older guy like him - even if he was a counselor - should've steered clear of an uncool middle-schooler like me. But Luke had welcomed me into the cabin. He'd even stolen me some toiletries, which was the nicest thing anybody had done for me all day.

I decided to ask him my last big question, the one that had been bothering me all afternoon. "Clarisse, from Ares, was joking about me being 'Big Three' material. Then Annabeth ... twice, she said I might be 'the one.' She said I should talk to the Oracle. What was that all about?"

**Luke folded his knife. "I hate prophecies."**

"What do you mean?"

His face twitched around the scar. "Let's just say I messed things up for everybody else. The last two years, ever since my trip to the Garden of the Hesperides went sour, Chiron hasn't allowed any more quests. Annabeth's been dying to get out into the world. She pestered Chiron so much he finally told her he already knew her fate. He'd had a prophecy from the Oracle. He wouldn't tell her the whole thing, but he said Annabeth wasn't destined to go on a quest yet. She had to wait until... somebody special came to the camp."

"Somebody special?"

"Don't worry about it, kid," Luke said. "Annabeth wants to think every new camper who comes through here is the omen she's been waiting for. Now, come on, it's dinnertime."

The moment he said it, a horn blew in the distance. Somehow, I knew it was a conch shell, even though I'd never heard one before.

Luke yelled, "Eleven, fall in!"

The whole cabin, about twenty of us, filed into the commons yard. We lined up in order of seniority, so of course I was dead last. Campers came from the other cabins, too, except for the three empty cabins at the end, and cabin eight, which had looked normal in the daytime, but was now starting to glow silver as the sun went down.

We marched up the hill to the mess hall pavilion. Satyrs joined us from the meadow. Naiads emerged from the canoeing lake. A few other girls came out of the woods - and when I say out of the woods, I mean straight out of the woods. I saw one girl, about nine or ten years old, melt from the side of a maple tree and come skipping up the hill.

In all, there were maybe a hundred campers, a few dozen satyrs, and a dozen assorted wood nymphs and naiads.

At the pavilion, torches blazed around the marble columns. A central fire burned in a bronze brazier the size of a bathtub. Each cabin had its own table, covered in white cloth trimmed in purple. Four of the tables were empty, but cabin eleven's was way overcrowded. I had to squeeze on to the edge of a bench with half my butt hanging off.  


Aphrodite and Demeter grimaced

Aphrodite: not a pretty picture

Demeter: why doesn't he just ask them to scoot over so he may sit more in

Hermes: probably not enough room

He glared at them

**I saw Grover sitting at table twelve with Mr. D, a few satyrs, and a couple of plump blond boys who looked just like Mr. D. Chiron stood to one side, the picnic table being way too small for a centaur.**

Annabeth sat at table six with a bunch of serious-looking athletic kids, all with her gray eyes and honey-blond hair.

Athena beamed with pride

Athena: My Kids****

Clarisse sat behind me at Ares's table. She'd apparently gotten over being hosed down, because she was laughing and belching right alongside her friends.

Ares rolled his eyes

Ares: those are her siblings not friends!

Athena: your siblings could also be our friends

Ares: why would they want to be

Athena: to be more close

Ares: they are already close you nitwitted book reading cranberry!

Athena: wow just wow  
**  
Finally, Chiron pounded his hoof against the marble floor of the pavilion, and everybody fell silent. He raised a glass. "To the gods!"**

Everybody else raised their glasses. "To the gods!"

Wood nymphs came forward with platters of food: grapes, apples, strawberries, cheese, fresh bread, and yes, barbecue! My glass was empty, but Luke said,  
I said, "Cherry Coke."

The glass filled with sparkling caramel liquid.

Then I had an idea. "Blue Cherry Coke."

The soda turned a violent shade of cobalt.

I took a cautious sip. Perfect.

I drank a toast to my mother.

Poseidon smiled at that****

She's not gone, I told myself. Not permanently, anyway. She's in the Underworld. And if that's a real place, then someday...

"Here you go, Percy," Luke said, handing me a platter of smoked brisket.

I loaded my plate and was about to take a big bite when I noticed everybody getting up, carrying their plates toward the fire in the center of the pavilion. I wondered if they were going for dessert or something.

"Come on," Luke told me.

As I got closer, I saw that everyone was taking a portion of their meal and dropping it into the fire, the ripest strawberry, the juiciest slice of beef, the warmest, most buttery roll.

Apollo's mouth drooled****

Luke murmured in my ear, "Burnt offerings for the gods. They like the smell."

"You're kidding."

His look warned me not to take this lightly, but I couldn't help wondering why an immortal, all-powerful being would like the smell of burning food.

Luke approached the fire, bowed his head, and tossed in a cluster of fat red grapes. "Hermes."

I was next.

I wished I knew what god's name to say.  


Hermes and Apollo: POSEIDON!

Poseidon rolled his eyes

**Finally, I made a silent plea. Whoever you are, tell me. Please.**

I scraped a big slice of brisket into the flames.

When I caught a whiff of the smoke, I didn't gag.

It smelled nothing like burning food. It smelled of hot chocolate and fresh-baked brownies, hamburgers on the grill and wildflowers, and a hundred other good things that shouldn't have gone well together, but did. I could almost believe the gods could live off that smoke.  


Apollo: lasted 2 weeks

Ares: 4 weeks

Hermes: 5 ½ weeks

The rest of the gods were watching amused

**When everybody had returned to their seats and finished eating their meals, Chiron pounded his hoof again for our attention.**

Mr. D got up with a huge sigh. "Yes, I suppose I'd better say hello to all you brats. Well, hello. Our activities director, Chiron, says the next capture the flag is Friday. Cabin five presently holds the laurels."

A bunch of ugly cheering rose from the Ares table.  


Ares growled

**"Personally," Mr. D continued, "I couldn't care less, but congratulations. Also, I should tell you that we have a new camper today. Peter Johnson."**

Chiron murmured something.

"Er, Percy Jackson," Mr. D corrected. "That's right. Hurrah, and all that. Now run along to your silly campfire. Go on."

Everybody cheered. We all headed down toward the amphitheater, where Apollo's cabin led a sing-along. We sang camp songs about the gods and ate s'mores and joked around, and the funny thing was, I didn't feel that anyone was staring at me anymore. I felt that I was home.

Later in the evening, when the sparks from the campfire were curling into a starry sky, the conch horn blew again, and we all filed back to our cabins. I didn't realize how exhausted I was until I collapsed on my borrowed sleeping bag.

My fingers curled around the Minotaur's horn. I thought about my mom, but I had good thoughts: her smile, the bedtime stories she would read me when I was a kid, the way she would tell me not to let the bedbugs bite.

When I closed my eyes, I fell asleep instantly.

That was my first day at CampHalf-Blood.

I wish I'd known how briefly I would get to enjoy my new home.

Phoebe: and finished, who would like to read next

Coeus: I guess I will

She smiled and handed him the book


	9. Chapter 9

**WE CAPTURE A FLAG**

Coeus read

**The next few days I settled into a routine that felt almost normal, if you don't count the fact that I was getting lessons from satyrs, nymphs, and a centaur.**

Each morning I took Ancient Greek from Annabeth, and we talked about the gods and goddesses in the present tense, which was kind of weird. I discovered Annabeth was right about my dyslexia: Ancient Greek wasn't that hard for me to read. At least, no harder than English. After a couple of mornings, I could stumble through a few lines of Homer without too much headache.

The rest of the day, I'd rotate through outdoor activities, looking for something I was good at. Chiron tried to teach me archery, but we found out pretty quick I wasn't any good with a bow and arrow. He didn't complain, even when he had to desnag a stray arrow out of his tail.  


Apollo and Hermes: Nice

**Foot racing? No good either. The wood-nymph instructors left me in the dust. They told me not to worry about it. They'd had centuries of practice running away from lovesick gods. But still, it was a little humiliating to be slower than a tree.**

And wrestling? Forget it. Every time I got on the mat, Clarisse would pulverize me.  
Ares: hell yeah!

**"There's more where that came from, punk," she'd mumble in my ear.**

The only thing I really excelled at was canoeing, and that wasn't the kind of heroic skill people expected to see from the kid who had beaten the Minotaur.

I knew the senior campers and counselors were watching me, trying to decide who my dad was, but they weren't having an easy time of it. I wasn't as strong as the Ares kids, 

Ares:Damn right you aren't

**or as good at archery as the Apollo kids.**

Apollo: eh, I wouldn't mind having him as a Son *he smiled

**I didn't have Hephaestus's skill with metalwork**

Hephaestus grunted

**or - gods forbid - Dionysus's way with vine plants.**

Dionysus scoffed and then burst out laughing, then something soft hit him yet again. ' where does he get all this wonder bread?' he thought

**Luke told me I might be a child of Hermes, a kind of jack-of-all-trades, master of none. But I got the feeling he was just trying to make me feel better. He really didn't know what to make of me either.**

Despite all that, I liked camp. I got used to the morning fog over the beach, the smell of hot strawberry fields in the afternoon, even the weird noises of monsters in the woods at night. I would eat dinner with cabin eleven, scrape part of my meal into the fire, and try to feel some connection to my real dad. Nothing came. Just that warm feeling I'd always had, like the memory of his smile. I tried not to think too much about my mom, but I kept wondering: if gods and monsters were real, if all this magical stuff was possible, surely there was some way to save her, to bring her back...

Poseidon: oh son, no don't do it

Hades smirked

Hades: I don't see why not Poseidon, I mean who knows I may be merciful if he crosses into my territory

Zeus snorted

Zeus: yeah right you. Merciful

Hades glared

Hades: well I think everybody knows that im a much better bet for safety than you are Zeus

Zeus: HA! WHO IS RULER OF THE SKY, WHO DEFEATED KRONOS-

Kronos growled at that

Zeus: -Who set you all free from The Wrath of the Titans, ME ME AND ME!

Hades: whos domain isn't a solid yours!

Poseidon: whos domain cant be played with yours!

Hades and Poseidon: and WHO HAS BEEN A TERRIBLE RULER, YOU YOU AND YOU!

Zeus and his brothers argued for a weasely five minutes before their sisters intervened.

Hera: ENOUGH! ALL OF YOU

Demeter: you guys keep doing this day in and day out, and we haven't even gotten half way through the book!

Hestia: please brothers, sit back down and lets continue reading shall we

Hestia smiled at her brothers and they smiled back and obliged****

I started to understand Luke's bitterness and how he seemed to resent his father, Hermes. So okay, maybe gods had important things to do. But couldn't they call once in a while, or thunder, or something? Dionysus could make Diet Coke appear out of thin air. Why couldn't my dad, whoever he was, make a phone appear?  


Poseidon: because a certain someone made a stupid rule that bans it

Zeus and Poseidon glared at eachother

**Thursday afternoon, three days after I'd arrived at CampHalf-Blood, I had my first sword-fighting lesson. Everybody from cabin eleven gathered in the big circular arena, where Luke would be our instructor.**

We started with basic stabbing and slashing, using some straw-stuffed dummies in Greek armor. I guess I did okay. At least, I understood what I was supposed to do and my reflexes were good.

The problem was, I couldn't find a blade that felt right in my hands. Either they were too heavy, or too light, or too long. Luke tried his best to fix me up, but he agreed that none of the practice blades seemed to work for me.

We moved on to dueling in pairs. Luke announced he would be my partner, since this was my first time.

"Good luck," one of the campers told me. "Luke's the best swordsman in the last three hundred years."  


Hermes: my son will mop the floor with yours Poseidon

Poseidon: oh I hardly think so

**"Maybe he'll go easy on me," I said.  
**

Ares: he shouldn't

Aphrodite: be quiet Ares

**The camper snorted.**

Luke showed me thrusts and parries and shield blocks the hard way. With every swipe, I got a little more battered and bruised. "Keep your guard up, Percy," he'd say, then whap me in the ribs with the flat of his blade. "No, not that far up!" Whap! "Lunge!" Whap! "Now, back!" Whap!

Hermes smirked triumphantly at Poseidon

Who looked at him in annoyance

**By the time he called a break, I was soaked in sweat. Everybody swarmed the drinks cooler. Luke poured ice water on his head, which looked like such a good idea, I did the same.**

Poseidon smirked in a Victorious manner like Hermes did before

Hermes groaned

**Instantly, I felt better. Strength surged back into my arms. The sword didn't feel so awkward.**

"Okay, everybody circle up!" Luke ordered. "If Percy doesn't mind, I want to give you a little demo."

Great, I thought. Let's all watch Percy get pounded.

The Hermes guys gathered around. They were suppressing smiles. I figured they'd been in my shoes before and couldn't wait to see how Luke used me for a punching bag. He told everybody he was going to demonstrate a disarming technique: how to twist the enemy's blade with the flat of your own sword so that he had no choice but to drop his weapon.

"This is difficult," he stressed. "I've had it used against me. No laughing at Percy, now. Most swordsmen have to work years to master this technique."

He demonstrated the move on me in slow motion. Sure enough, the sword clattered out of my hand.

"Now in real time," he said, after I'd retrieved my weapon. "We keep sparring until one of us pulls it off. Ready, Percy?"

I nodded, and Luke came after me. Somehow, I kept him from getting a shot at the hilt of my sword. My senses opened up. I saw his attacks coming. I countered. I stepped forward and tried a thrust of my own. Luke deflected it easily, but I saw a change in his face. His eyes narrowed, and he started to press me with more force.

The sword grew heavy in my hand. The balance wasn't right. I knew it was only a matter of seconds before Luke took me down, so I figured, What the heck?

I tried the disarming maneuver.

My blade hit the base of Luke's and I twisted, putting my whole weight into a downward thrust.

Clang.  


All the Gods eyes widened

Athena: he is very powerful

Poseidon smiled wide and proud of his son

**Luke's sword rattled against the stones. The tip of my blade was an inch from his undefended chest.**

The other campers were silent.

I lowered my sword. "Um, sorry."

For a moment, Luke was too stunned to speak.

"Sorry?" His scarred face broke into a grin. "By the gods, Percy, why are you sorry? Show me that again!"  


Ares: hes a man of strength and can take a hit

Athena: but he has flaws too Ares

Ares sighed

Ares: leave it to you to point that out

Athena looked offended

**I didn't want to. The short burst of manic energy had completely abandoned me. But Luke insisted.**

This time, there was no contest. The moment our swords connected, Luke hit my hilt and sent my weapon skidding across the floor.

After a long pause, somebody in the audience said, "Beginner's luck?"

Poseidon bursted out laughing

Poseidon: beginners luck. HA!  
**  
Luke wiped the sweat off his brow. He appraised at me with an entirely new interest. "Maybe," he said. "But I wonder what Percy could do with a balanced sword... ."**

Friday afternoon, I was sitting with Grover at the lake, resting from a near-death experience on the climbing wall. Grover had scampered to the top like a mountain goat, but the lava had almost gotten me. My shirt had smoking holes in it. The hairs had been singed off my forearms.

We sat on the pier, watching the naiads do underwater basket-weaving, until I got up the nerve to ask Grover how his conversation had gone with Mr. D.

His face turned a sickly shade of yellow.

"Fine," he said. "Just great."

"So your career's still on track?"

He glanced at me nervously. "Chiron t-told you I want a searcher's license?"

"Well... no." I had no idea what a searcher's license was, but it didn't seem like the right time to ask. "He just said you had big plans, you know ... and that you needed credit for completing a keeper's assignment. So did you get it?"

Grover looked down at the naiads. "Mr. D suspended judgment. He said I hadn't failed or succeeded with you yet, so our fates were still tied together. If you got a quest and I went along to protect you, and we both came back alive, then maybe he'd consider the job complete."

My spirits lifted. "Well, that's not so bad, right?"

"Blaa-ha-ha! He might as well have transferred me to stable-cleaning duty. The chances of you getting a quest... and even if you did, why would you want me along?"

"Of course I'd want you along!"

Grover stared glumly into the water. "Basket-weaving ... Must be nice to have a useful skill."

I tried to reassure him that he had lots of talents, but that just made him look more miserable. We talked about canoeing and swordplay for a while, then debated the pros and cons of the different gods. Finally, I asked him about the four empty cabins.

"Number eight, the silver one, belongs to Artemis," he said. "She vowed to be a maiden forever. So of course, no kids. The cabin is, you know, honorary. If she didn't have one, she'd be mad."  


All the males snorted

Artemis: is there a problem

Ares: you don't have any friggin kids, and those hunters don't count, also Camp is made for Gods with kids and there are boys there and your hunters don't like boys, so…

Artemis: I am still a goddess, and therefore I have every right to have a cabin there

Apollo belched

Hera walked over to him and bonked him and glared at him to say excuse me

Apollo: ex…excuse me

He smiled weakly

Hera: don' . !

Then she walked back to her throne 

**"Yeah, okay. But the other three, the ones at the end. Are those the Big Three?"**

Grover tensed. We were getting close to a touchy subject. "No. One of them, number two, is Hera's," he said. "That's another honorary thing. She's the goddess of marriage, so of course she wouldn't go around having affairs with mortals.

Hera: that's Zeus' job

She glared at him

**That's her husband's job.**

Everyone laughed

Hera scowled

**When we say the Big Three, we mean the three powerful brothers, the sons of Kronos."**

"Zeus, Poseidon, Hades."

"Right. You know. After the great battle with the Titans, they took over the world from their dad and drew lots to decide who got what."

Poseidon: I got the best lot

Zeus: I actually I did

Hades was silent

Hades: I got shit on, I got the worst Domain , and with that also came the worst reputation.

Hestia: what do you mean brother? I love you regardless of what domain you got.

Hades: I know you do sister, but im talking about them * pointing to Hera and Zeus* they gave me a bad rap, they made everyone think im this Evil person who has no soul, and after that happened everyone started to think I wasn't a good person, and so people started to fear/hate me and then those two, made a law that Banished me from Olympus but once a year!. I hate it I really do, im not mean and heartless, I just don't like being misrepresented as evil, while all of you are cloaked and basked with love and admiration, think so highly of yourselves not giving me any time of day, not willing to help me in my time need, nor coming to Visit me except Demeter but that's for personal reasons, you guys don't Iris message, Tele-communicate, or do drop-bys, im lonely down in the underworld.

The Olympians looked down

Zeus: sorry brother I haddent thought of that

Hera: yeah im sorry too, I value you more than Zeus *glaring at him*, if I were to of married any of my brother you would probably have been a good choice.

Zeus glared murderously at her.

The Titans watched In awe.

Phoebe: wow they can really show emotions,like just wow its incredible

Oceanus: yeah, we can too, but a certain younger dumber brother wouldn't like that cause he considers it an act of '' going soft''

Kronos Growled

Kronos: if you want to show emotion fine! But don't look to me to give you any comfort

Crius: please you barely give us any health benefits

Kronos: I made you your Star Armour so be grateful you little brat!

Everyone was silent for a few moments,then read again****

"Zeus got the sky," I remembered. "Poseidon the sea, Hades the Underworld."

"Uh-huh."

"But Hades doesn't have a cabin here."  


Hades: I should have one

Zeus: you don't have any children

Hades gulped nervously

Hades: that's not the point I should have one, and if you refuse me that,then at least give one to Hestia, if anyone deserves one she does!

Hestia walked over to his throne and gave him a big hug

Hestia: thank you brother, but there is no need for me to have a cabin im perfectly fine, tending the hearth and being around all my Nephews and Nieces

She smiled at Hades and he smiled back

**"No. He doesn't have a throne on Olympus, either. He sort of does his own thing down in the Underworld. If he did have a cabin here ..." Grover shuddered. "Well, it wouldn't be pleasant. Let's leave it at that."**

"But Zeus and Poseidon - they both had, like, a bazillion kids in the myths. Why are their cabins empty?"  


Athena: because of the pact of course

Poseidon rolled his eyes

Mnemosyne: what pact?

Demeter: after WW2 Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades made a pact about having no more Demigod children because they were all too powerful to manage, but of course Zeus and Poseidon didn't abide by it. And ironically Hades didn't

Hades looked everywhere but at his family

**Grover shifted his hooves uncomfortably. "About sixty years ago, after World War II, the Big Three agreed they wouldn't sire any more heroes. Their children were just too powerful. They were affecting the course of human events too much, causing too much carnage. World War II, you know, that was basically a fight between the sons of Zeus and Poseidon on one side, and the sons of Hades on the other. The winning side, Zeus and Poseidon, made Hades swear an oath with them: no more affairs with mortal women. They all swore on the River Styx."  
**

Hermes: it just explained what Auntie Meat said

Demeter: Auntie Meat?

Hermes: yeah as in Demeter, take the De and the er and it sounds like Meat.

Demeter: don't call me that, cause it sounds like im a piece of Meat

Hermes: okay auntie Dem Dem

Demeter smiled

**Thunder boomed.**

**I said, "That's the most serious oath you can make."**

Grover nodded.

"And the brothers kept their word - no kids?"

Grover's face darkened. "Seventeen years ago, Zeus fell off the wagon. There was this TV starlet with a big fluffy eighties hairdo - he just couldn't help himself. When their child was born, a little girl named Thalia .. . well, the River Styx is serious about promises. Zeus himself got off easy because he's immortal, but he brought a terrible fate on his daughter."  


Hera: that little tramp got exactly what she had coming, it's a shame the monsters didn't get her sooner

Thunder and lightning crackled around Zeus and his anger rose dangerously

Zeus: DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT ABOUT MY DAUGHTER EVER AGAIN! YOU UNDERSTAND ME HERA! 

Hera: THAT TRAMP IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF YOUR INFIDELITIES TO ME AND I WOULD OF KILLED HER MYSELF HAD YOU NOT INTERVENED, I WOULD OF BROUGHT THE SAME FATE UPON HER AS LIKE I DID THE TROJANS.

Zeus Zapped her and she fell to the ground KO'd

**"But that isn't fair.' It wasn't the little girl's fault."**

Grover hesitated. "Percy, children of the Big Three have powers greater than other half-bloods. They have a strong aura, a scent that attracts monsters. When Hades found out about the girl, he wasn't too happy about Zeus breaking his oath. Hades let the worst monsters out of Tartarus to torment Thalia. A satyr was assigned to be her keeper when she was twelve, but there was nothing he could do. He tried to escort her here with a couple of other half-bloods she'd befriended. They almost made it. They got all the way to the top of that hill."  


Zeus looked down thinking about that day

**He pointed across the valley, to the pine tree where I'd fought the minotaur. "All three Kindly Ones were after them, along with a horde of hellhounds. They were about to be overrun when Thalia told her satyr to take the other two half-bloods to safety while she held off the monsters. She was wounded and tired, and she didn't want to live like a hunted animal. The satyr didn't want to leave her, but he couldn't change her mind, and he had to protect the others. So Thalia made her final stand alone, at the top of that hill. As she died, Zeus took pity on her. He turned her into that pine tree. Her spirit still helps protect the borders of the valley. That's why the hill is called Half-Blood Hill."**

I stared at the pine in the distance.

The story made me feel hollow, and guilty too. A girl my age had sacrificed herself to save her friends. She had faced a whole army of monsters. Next to that, my victory over the Minotaur didn't seem like much. I wondered, if I'd acted differently, could I have saved my mother?

"Grover," I said, "have heroes really gone on quests to the Underworld?"

"Sometimes," he said. "Orpheus. Hercules. Houdini."  


Zeus smirked at Hercules' name while Artemis growled

**"And have they ever returned somebody from the dead?"**

"No. Never. Orpheus came close... . Percy, you're not seriously thinking - "

"No," I lied. "I was just wondering. So ... a satyr is always assigned to guard a demigod?"

Grover studied me warily. I hadn't persuaded him that I'd really dropped the Underworld idea. "Not always. We go undercover to a lot of schools. We try to sniff out the half-bloods who have the makings of great heroes. If we find one with a very strong aura, like a child of the Big Three, we alert Chiron. He tries to keep an eye on them, since they could cause really huge problems."

"And you found me. Chiron said you thought I might be something special."

Grover looked as if I'd just led him into a trap. "I didn't... Oh, listen, don't think like that. If you were - you know - you'd never ever be allowed a quest, and I'd never get my license. You're probably a child of Hermes. Or maybe even one of the minor gods, like Nemesis, the god of revenge. Don't worry, okay?"  


Aphrodite: isn't Nemesis a goddess?

Athena: yes Aphrodite

Aphtodite: then why would the Satyr call her a God?

Athena: I don't know Aphrodite

**I got the idea he was reassuring himself more than me.**

That night after dinner, there was a lot more excitement than usual.

At last, it was time for capture the flag.

When the plates were cleared away, the conch horn sounded and we all stood at our tables.

Campers yelled and cheered as Annabeth and two of her siblings ran into the pavilion carrying a silk banner. It was about ten feet long, glistening gray, with a painting of a barn owl above an olive tree. 

Athena smiled with pride

**From the opposite side of the pavilion, Clarisse and her buddies ran in with another banner, of identical size, but gaudy red, painted with a bloody spear and a boar's head.**

Ares: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

Ares roared echoing 

**I turned to Luke and yelled over the noise, "Those are the flags?"  
**

Ares: no those are there for you to wipe your ass, when you win * rolls eyes*

Hera: that was very inappropriate Ares

Hermes and Apollo snickered

Aphrodite: not to mention Disgusting and Filthy!

Ares: whatever

A shoe sailed through the air and hit a certain War god in the face

**"Yeah."**

"Ares and Athena always lead the teams?"

"Not always," he said. "But often."

"So, if another cabin captures one, what do you do - repaint the flag?"

He grinned. "You'll see. First we have to get one."

"Whose side are we on?"

He gave me a sly look, as if he knew something I didn't. The scar on his face made him look almost evil in the torchlight. "We've made a temporary alliance with Athena. Tonight, we get the flag from Ares. And you are going to help."

The teams were announced. Athena had made an alliance with Apollo and Hermes, the two biggest cabins. 

Said Gods smirked

**Apparently, privileges had been traded - shower times, chore schedules, the best slots for activities - in order to win support.**

Ares had allied themselves with everybody else: Dionysus, Demeter, Aphrodite, and Hephaestus.

Hephaestus had a weird look on his face ' why on earth would my cabin be allied with Ares?' he thought

**From what I'd seen, Dionysus's kids were actually good athletes, but there were only two of them.**

Dionysus: my kids can do some damage

He said with pride

**Demeter's kids had the edge with nature skills and outdoor stuff but they weren't very aggressive**

Demeter: never be mean plants, it hurts their feelings

Hades rolled his eyes

**. Aphrodite's sons and daughters I wasn't too worried about. They mostly sat out every activity and checked their reflections in the lake and did their hair and gossiped.**

Aphrodite: Of course! My kids are doing what they were born to do, look beautiful and flaunt it

She said flicking her hair to the side

**Hephaestus's kids weren't pretty, and there were only four of them, but they were big and burly from working in the metal shop all day. They might be a problem.**

Hephaestus smirked ' go get em ' he thought as his kids were mentioned as being tough

**That, of course, left Ares's cabin: a dozen of the biggest, ugliest, meanest kids on Long Island, or anywhere else on the planet.**

Ares: that kid is signing his death warrant!

Poseidon: no hes not and it woulnt be from you!

He glared at Ares  
**  
Chiron hammered his hoof on the marble.**

"Heroes!" he announced. "You know the rules. The creek is the boundary line. The entire forest is fair game. All magic items are allowed. The banner must be prominently displayed, and have no more than two guards. Prisoners may be disarmed, but may not be bound or gagged. No killing or maiming is allowed. I will serve as referee and battlefield medic. Arm yourselves!"

He spread his hands, and the tables were suddenly covered with equipment: helmets, bronze swords, spears, oxhide shields coated in metal.

"Whoa," I said. "We're really supposed to use these?"

Luke looked at me as if I were crazy. "Unless you want to get skewered by your friends in cabin five. Here - Chiron thought these would fit. You'll be on border patrol."

My shield was the size of an NBA backboard, with a big caduceus in the middle. It weighed about a million pounds. I could have snowboarded on it fine, but I hoped nobody seriously expected me to run fast. My helmet, like all the helmets on Athena's side, had a blue horsehair plume on top. Ares and their allies had red plumes.

Annabeth yelled, "Blue team, forward!"

We cheered and shook our swords and followed her down the path to the south woods. The red team yelled taunts at us as they headed off toward the north.

I managed to catch up with Annabeth without tripping over my equipment. "Hey."

She kept marching.

"So what's the plan?" I asked. "Got any magic items you can loan me?"

Her hand drifted toward her pocket, as if she were afraid I'd stolen something.

"Just watch Clarisse's spear," she said. "You don't want that thing touching you. Otherwise, don't worry. We'll take the banner from Ares. Has Luke given you your job?"

"Border patrol, whatever that means."

"It's easy. Stand by the creek, keep the reds away. Leave the rest to me. Athena always has a plan."

She pushed ahead, leaving me in the dust.

"Okay," I mumbled. "Glad you wanted me on your team."

It was a warm, sticky night. The woods were dark, with fireflies popping in and out of view. Annabeth stationed me next to a little creek that gurgled over some rocks, then she and the rest of the team scattered into the trees.

Standing there alone, with my big blue-feathered helmet and my huge shield, I felt like an idiot. The bronze sword, like all the swords I'd tried so far, seemed balanced wrong. The leather grip pulled on my hand like a bowling ball.

There was no way anybody would actually attack me, would they? I mean, Olympus had to have liability issues, right?

Far away, the conch horn blew. I heard whoops and yells in the woods, the clanking of metal, kids fighting. A blue-plumed ally from Apollo raced past me like a deer, leaped through the creek, and disappeared into enemy territory.

Great, I thought. I'll miss all the fun, as usual.

Then I heard a sound that sent a chill up my spine, a low canine growl, somewhere close by.  


Poseidon: oh no!

**I raised my shield instinctively; I had the feeling something was stalking me.**

Then the growling stopped. I felt the presence retreating.

On the other side of the creek, the underbrush exploded. Five Ares warriors came yelling and screaming out of the dark.

"Cream the punk!" Clarisse screamed.  


Ares: Hell yeah, Get em!

**the slits of her helmet. She brandished a five-foot-long spear, its barbed metal tip flickering with red light. Her siblings had only the standard-issue bronze swords - not that that made me feel any better.**

They charged across the stream. There was no help in sight. I could run. Or I could defend myself against half the Ares cabin.

I managed to sidestep the first kid's swing, but these guys were not as stupid the Minotaur. They surrounded me, and Clarisse thrust at me with her spear. My shield deflected the point, but I felt a painful tingling all over my body. My hair stood on end. My shield arm went numb, and the air burned.

Electricity. Her stupid spear was electric. I fell back.  


Poseidon: ARES!

Ares: uh oh

Poseidon beat the shit out of Ares for a couple minutes then regained posture to his throne

Ares: owww**  
**

**Another Ares guy slammed me in the chest with the butt of his sword and I hit the dirt.**

They could've kicked me into jelly, but they were too busy laughing.

**"Give him a haircut," Clarisse said. "Grab his hair."  
**

Aphrodite: NOOOOOOOOO!

**I managed to get to my feet. I raised my sword, but Clarisse slammed it aside with her spear as sparks flew. Now both my arms felt numb.**

"Oh, wow," Clarisse said. "I'm scared of this guy. Really scared."

"The flag is that way," I told her. I wanted to sound angry, but I was afraid it didn't come out that way.

"Yeah," one of her siblings said. "But see, we don't care about the flag. We care about a guy who made our cabin look stupid."

"You do that without my help," I told them. It probably wasn't the smartest thing to say.  


**Athena: you think?**

Poseidon shot a stream of water at her and hither in the face

Athena: Poseidon!

Poseidon just smirked

**Two of them came at me. I backed up toward the creek, tried to raise my shield, but Clarisse was too fast. Her spear stuck me straight in the ribs. If I hadn't been wearing an armored breastplate, I would've been shish-ke-babbed. As it was, the electric point just about shocked my teeth out of my mouth. One of her cabinmates slashed his sword across my arm, leaving a good-size cut.**

Seeing my own blood made me dizzy - warm and cold at the same time.

"No maiming," I managed to say.

"Oops," the guy said. "Guess I lost my dessert privilege.

Hermes: seriously, a person breaks the rules and they lose a dessert privilege

He looked scrunchy

Zeus: you better make better punishments Dionysus

Dionysus: Okay dude

Zeus: don't call me dude, I am your father

Dionysus: ok Darth Vader

Zeus: I am not Darth Vader!

Dionysus:okay Zeusy Poo

Everyone bursted out laughing at that one including the Titans**  
**

Zeus scowled ay Dionysus

**He pushed me into the creek and I landed with a splash. They all laughed. I figured as soon as they were through being amused, I would die. But then something happened. The water seemed to wake up my senses, as if I'd just had a bag of my mom's double-espresso jelly beans.  
**

Poseidon beamed ' here it comes' he thought smiling wide

**Clarisse and her cabinmates came into the creek to get me, but I stood to meet them. I knew what to do. I swung the flat of my sword against the first guy's head and knocked his helmet clean off. I hit him so hard I could see his eyes vibrating as he crumpled into the water.  
**

Ares: Nooooooo!

Dionysus: I take that back, Ares is Darth Vader

Ares marched in front of Dionysus and got in his face

Ares: DO I LOOK LIKE A ROBOT IN SPACE!

Hermes: actually Ares Darth Vader isn't a robot hes man, or rather more Machine than man.

Ares: I don't need a Briefing on Star Wars!. Although I admit, it was a very interesting movie

He swept fast to his seat.

**Ugly Number Two and Ugly Number Three came at me. I slammed one in the face with my shield and used my sword to shear off the other guy's horsehair plume. Both of them backed up quick. Ugly Number Four didn't look really anxious to attack, but Clarisse kept coming, the point of her spear crackling with energy. As soon as she thrust, I caught the shaft between the edge of my shield and my sword, and I snapped it like a twig.**

"Ah!" she screamed. "You idiot! You corpse-breath worm!"

She probably would've said worse, but I smacked her between the eyes with my sword-butt and sent her stumbling backward out of the creek.

Then I heard yelling, elated screams, and I saw Luke racing toward the boundary line with the red team's banner lifted high. He was flanked by a couple of Hermes guys covering his retreat, and a few Apollos behind them, fighting off the Hephaestus kids. The Ares folks got up, and Clarisse muttered a dazed curse.

"A trick!" she shouted. "It was a trick."

They staggered after Luke, but it was too late. Everybody converged on the creek as Luke ran across into friendly territory. Our side exploded into cheers. The red banner shimmered and turned to silver. The boar and spear were replaced with a huge caduceus, the symbol of cabin eleven. Everybody on the blue team picked up Luke and started carrying him around on their shoulders. Chiron cantered out from the woods and blew the conch horn.

The game was over. We'd won.

I was about to join the celebration when Annabeth's voice, right next to me in the creek, said, "Not bad, hero."

I looked, but she wasn't there.

"Where the heck did you learn to fight like that?" she asked. The air shimmered, and she materialized, holding a Yankees baseball cap as if she'd just taken it off her head.

I felt myself getting angry. I wasn't even fazed by the fact that she'd just been invisible. "You set me up," I said. "You put me here because you knew Clarisse would come after me, while you sent Luke around the flank. You had it all figured out."

Annabeth shrugged. "I told you. Athena always, always has a plan."

"A plan to get me pulverized."  


The Titans snickered

**"I came as fast as I could. I was about to jump in, but ..." She shrugged. "You didn't need help."**

Then she noticed my wounded arm. "How did you do that?"

"Sword cut," I said. "What do you think?"

"No. It was a sword cut. Look at it."

The blood was gone. Where the huge cut had been, there was a long white scratch, and even that was fading. As I watched, it turned into a small scar, and disappeared.  


Oceanus: he..he can be healed by water?

He said astounded

Poseidon: yep, all my kids can**  
**

**"I - I don't get it," I said.**

Annabeth was thinking hard. I could almost see the gears turning. She looked down at my feet, then at Clarisse's broken spear, and said, "Step out of the water, Percy."

Prometheus: and its just gonna come back when hes out of the water correct?

Poseidon grunted and nodded  
**  
"What - "**

"Just do it."

I came out of the creek and immediately felt bone tired. My arms started to go numb again. My adrenaline rush left me. I almost fell over, but Annabeth steadied me.

"Oh, Styx," she cursed. "This is not good. I didn't want ... I assumed it would be Zeus... ."

Before I could ask what she meant, I heard that canine growl again, but much closer than before. A howl ripped through the forest.

The campers' cheering died instantly. Chiron shouted something in Ancient Greek, which I would realize, only later, I had understood perfectly: "Stand ready! My bow!"

Annabeth drew her sword.

There on the rocks just above us was a black hound the size of a rhino, with lava-red eyes and fangs like daggers.  


Ares: ACTION!

He was hit by, and he was struck by Lightning

Zeus: shut the Tartarus up!

**It was looking straight at me.**

Nobody moved except Annabeth, who yelled, "Percy, run!"

She tried to step in front of me, but the hound was too fast. It leaped over her - an enormous shadow with teeth - and just as it hit me, as I stumbled backward and felt its razor-sharp claws ripping through my armor, there was a cascade of thwacking sounds, like forty pieces of paper being ripped one after the other. From the hounds neck sprouted a cluster of arrows. The monster fell dead at my feet.

By some miracle, I was still alive. I didn't want to look underneath the ruins of my shredded armor. My chest felt warm and wet, and I knew I was badly cut. Another second, and the monster would've turned me into a hundred pounds of delicatessen meat.

Chiron trotted up next to us, a bow in his hand, his face grim.

"Di immortales!" Annabeth said. "That's a hellhound from the Fields of Punishment. They don't ... they're not supposed to ..."

"Someone summoned it," Chiron said. "Someone inside the camp."

Luke came over, the banner in his hand forgotten, his moment of glory gone.

Clarisse yelled, "It's all Percy's fault! Percy summoned it!"  


''Idiot, stupid girl, moron, dumby'' were all heard around the room even from the Titans

Ares growled and glared at everyone

**"Be quiet, child," Chiron told her.**

We watched the body of the hellhound melt into shadow, soaking into the ground until it disappeared.

"You're wounded," Annabeth told me. "Quick, Percy, get in the water."

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not," she said. "Chiron, watch this."

I was too tired to argue. I stepped back into the creek, the whole camp gathering around me.

Instantly, I felt better. I could feel the cuts on my chest closing up. Some of the campers gasped.

"Look, I - I don't know why," I said, trying to apologize. "I'm sorry..."

But they weren't watching my wounds heal. They were staring at something above my head.

"Percy," Annabeth said, pointing. "Um ..."

By the time I looked up, the sign was already fading, but I could still make out the hologram of green light, spinning and gleaming. A three-tipped spear: a trident.

"Your father," Annabeth murmured. "This is really not good."  


Poseidon: Excuse me!

Demeter: relax she probably thought it would be Zeus

Zeus: Excuse me!

Hera: oh don't you dare try denying it, you know its true

She glared at her husband who shrunk back into his seat

**"It is determined," Chiron announced.**

All around me, campers started kneeling, even the Ares cabin, though they didn't look happy about it.

"My father?" I asked, completely bewildered.

"Poseidon," said Chiron. "Earthshaker, Stormbringer, Father of Horses. Hail, Perseus Jackson, Son of the Sea God."

Hermes: makes you sound powerful uncle Po

Poseidon: yes it does and I am and don't call me uncle Po!

Coeus: okay who's next

''How about me'' a voice said from behind the chairs behind the titans

Aphrodite: EOS!

She ran to her and hugged her cause they bond so much and are the best of friends

Eos: im sorry do I know you

Aphrodite: Eos its me im…..oh your from the Golden Age

Eos looked at her weirdly

Eos: yes im from the Golden Age , speaking of which where are we, and when are we

Athena: you are on Mount Olympus, and it is January

Eos eyes widened

Eos: oh my….its like….wha….How….

Athena: the fates wanted the Titans and us to read about the Chaos and corruption that they brung upon the present life Demigods and how they turned then and poisoned their minds against their parents….us.

Eos :oh okay, well I guess ill start reading

Hestia: you may sit with your Brother and Father

At their mention, Hyperion and Helios smiled so brightly at her, she had to cover her eyes

Eos: alright alright shut those pearly whites off and let me read

Hyperion: as you wish ma'am

Helios snickered

Eos started reading


	10. Chapter 10

**I AM OFFERED A QUEST**

Eos read

**The next morning, Chiron moved me to cabin three.**

I didn't have to share with anybody. I had plenty of room for all my stuff: the Minotaur's horn, one set of spare clothes, and a toiletry bag. I got to sit at my own dinner table, pick all my own activities, call "lights out" whenever I felt like it, and not listen to anybody else.  


Helios: doesn't sound too bad

Hyperion: no it doesn't my boy

They smiled at eachother. While Eos snickered**  
**

**And I was absolutely miserable.**

Just when I'd started to feel accepted, to feel I had a home in cabin eleven and I might be a normal kid - or as normal as you can be when you're a half-blood - I'd been separated out as if I had some rare disease.  


Hestia frowned

**Nobody mentioned the hellhound, but I got the feeling they were all talking about it behind my back. The attack had scared everybody. It sent two messages: one, that I was the son of the Sea God; and two, monsters would stop at nothing to kill me. They could even invade a camp that had always been considered safe.  
**

The Gods looked worried for their children, at least the ones who had some

**The other campers steered clear of me as much as possible. Cabin eleven was too nervous to have sword class with me after what I'd done to the Ares folks in the woods, so my lessons with Luke became one-on-one. He pushed me harder than ever, and wasn't afraid to bruise me up in the process.**

"You're going to need all the training you can get," he promised, as we were working with swords and flaming torches. "Now let's try that viper-beheading strike again. Fifty more repetitions."  


Athena: isn't that a little much?

Ares scoffed

Ares: nonsense you need all the practice and training you can get

Athena: but there are limits Ares as to how much you body can take a day and how much you can handle before you body goes check.

Ares: well my kids never let me down, they train hardest and faster and are more fiercer Warriors because of it

He then roared in approcal of his own speech

Athena rolled her eyes

**Annabeth still taught me Greek in the mornings, but she seemed distracted. Every time I said something, she scowled at me, as if I'd just poked her between the eyes.  
**

Athenas expression turned angry

Athena: that's not very nice, and he better not have

**After lessons, she would walk away muttering to herself: "Quest ... Poseidon? ... Dirty rotten ... Got to make a plan ..."**

Even Clarisse kept her distance, though her venomous looks made it clear she wanted to kill me for breaking her magic spear. I wished she would just yell or punch me or something. I'd rather get into fights every day than be ignored.  


Ares: well my kids are more than happy to oblige that request

Ares gave and evil smirk

**I knew somebody at camp resented me, because one night I came into my cabin and found a mortal newspaper dropped inside the doorway, a copy of the New York Daily News, opened to the Metro page. The article took me almost an hour to read, because the angrier I got, the more the words floated around on the page.**

BOY AND MOTHER STILL MISSING AFTER

FREAK CAR ACCIDENT

BY EILEEN SMYTHE

Sally Jackson and son Percy are still missing one week after their mysterious disappearance. The family's badly burned '78 Camaro was discovered last Saturday on a north Long Island road with the roof ripped off and the front axle broken. The car had flipped and skidded for several hundred feet before exploding.

Mother and son had gone for a weekend vacation to Montauk, but left hastily, under mysterious circumstances. Small traces of blood were found in the car and near the scene of the wreck, but there were no other signs of the missing Jacksons. Residents in the rural area reported seeing nothing unusual around the time of the accident.

Ms. Jackson's husband, Gabe Ugliano, claims that his stepson, Percy Jackson, is a troubled child who has been kicked out of numerous boarding schools and has expressed violent tendencies in the past.  


Poseidon: that Asswipe doesn't know crip from crap

Zeus: Poseidon, calm down

Poseidon grunted in annoyance

**Police would not say whether son Percy is a suspect in his mother's disappearance, but they have not ruled out foul play. Below are recent pictures of Sally Jackson and Percy. Police urge anyone with information to call the following toll-free crime-stoppers hotline.**

The phone number was circled in black marker.

I wadded up the paper and threw it away, then flopped down in my bunk bed in the middle of my empty cabin.

"Lights out," I told myself miserably.

That night, I had my worst dream yet.

I was running along the beach in a storm. This time, there was a city behind me. Not New York. The sprawl was different: buildings spread farther apart, palm trees and low hills in the distance.

About a hundred yards down the surf, two men were fighting. They looked like TV wrestlers, muscular, with beards and long hair. Both wore flowing Greek tunics, one trimmed in blue, the other in green. They grappled with each other, wrestled, kicked and head-butted, and every time they connected, lightning flashed, the sky grew darker, and the wind rose.

I had to stop them. I didn't know why. But the harder I ran, the more the wind blew me back, until I was running in place, my heels digging uselessly in the sand.

Over the roar of the storm, I could hear the blue-robed one yelling at the green-robed one, Give it back! Give it back! Like a kindergartner fighting over a toy.  


Everyone laughed except Kronos , Zeus and Poseidon

Kronos: Rhea told me thatd what I sounded like sometimes

Zeus: well you're a big baby

Kronos: well if im a big baby, you're a tiny sperm!

Poseidon was laughing so hard the Beach of Cape Canaveral started to waver into the rocket pad site of Apollo 11

Zeus: oh that is low even for you

Kronos: well guess what I got more than that to bark for at you

Hera: lets keep reading Eos if you would

Eos obliged

**The waves got bigger, crashing into the beach, spraying me with salt.**

I yelled, Stop it! Stop fighting!  


Hera and Demeter snorted

Hera: like that's gonna make them stop

Zeus glared at her

**The ground shook. Laughter came from somewhere under the earth, and a voice so deep and evil it turned my blood to ice.**

Come down, little hero, the voice crooned. Come down!  


Everyone looked at Kronos who was smirking

Kronos: I love how this kid mentions me and how he describewhen im in it

**The sand split beneath me, opening up a crevice straight down to the center of the earth. My feet slipped, and darkness swallowed me.  
**

Poseidon: that cant be good

**I woke up, sure I was falling.**

I was still in bed in cabin three. My body told me it was morning, but it was dark outside, and thunder rolled across the hills. A storm was brewing. I hadn't dreamed that.

I heard a clopping sound at the door, a hoof knocking on the threshold.

"Come in?"

Grover trotted inside, looking worried. "Mr. D wants to see you."

"Why?"

"He wants to kill... I mean, I'd better let him tell you."  


Poseidon: like this Fatso Grapeius could kill someone

Dionysus: I take offense to that

Zeus: why you know its true

Dionysus: dad!

He whined to Zeus for 5 minutes then was conked to sleep

**Nervously, I got dressed and followed, sure that I was in huge trouble.**

For days, I'd been half expecting a summons to the Big House. Now that I was declared a son of Poseidon, one of the Big Three gods who weren't supposed to have kids, I figured it was a crime for me just to be alive.

Hera: yes yes it is

Poseidon and Zeus: SHUT UP!

Poseidons aura started glowing and Zeus' body started crackling

Hera just huffed

**The other gods had probably been debating the best way to punish me for existing, and now Mr. D was ready to deliver their verdict.  
**

Hermes: pleaaaaaaaaaaase, if they were to decide the verdict they would of sent me, the messenger of the Gods

Hera: or we could use Iris Message

Hermes glared at her

Hermes: oh so just because she is faster you automatically think im not good enough. HUMPH!

Hera looked at him weirdly

**Over Long Island Sound, the sky looked like ink soup coming to a boil. A hazy curtain of rain was coming in our direction. I asked Grover if we needed an umbrella.**

"No," he said. "It never rains here unless we want it to."

I pointed at the storm. "What the heck is that, then?"

He glanced uneasily at the sky. "It'll pass around us. Bad weather always does."

I realized he was right. In the week I'd been here, it had never even been overcast. The few rain clouds I'd seen had skirted right around the edges of the valley.

But this storm ... this one was huge.

At the volleyball pit, the kids from Apollo's cabin were playing a morning game against the satyrs. Dionysus's twins were walking around in the strawberry fields, making the plants grow. Everybody was going about their normal business, but they looked tense. They kept their eyes on the storm.  


Demeter: the plants!

Hades: shut it womane!

Demeter glared

**Grover and I walked up to the front porch of the Big House. Dionysus sat at the pinochle table in his tiger-striped Hawaiian shirt with his Diet Coke, just as he had on my first day. Chiron sat across the table in his fake wheelchair. They were playing against invisible opponents-two sets of cards hovering in the air.**

"Well, well," Mr. D said without looking up. "Our little celebrity."

I waited.

"Come closer," Mr. D said. "And don't expect me to kowtow to you, mortal, just because old Barnacle-Beard is your father."  


Poseidon snorted

Poseidon: that was lame

**A net of lightning flashed across the clouds. Thunder shook the windows of the house.**

"Blah, blah, blah," Dionysus said.

Chiron feigned interest in his pinochle cards. Grover cowered by the railing, his hooves clopping back and forth.

"If I had my way," Dionysus said, "I would cause your molecules to erupt in flames. We'd sweep up the ashes and be done with a lot of trouble. But Chiron seems to feel this would be against my mission at this cursed camp: to keep you little brats safe from harm."  


Athena: that's a form of harm**  
"Spontaneous combustion is a form of harm, Mr. D," Chiron put in.  
**

Athena groaned

**"Nonsense," Dionysus said. "Boy wouldn't feel a thing. Nevertheless, I've agreed to restrain myself I'm thinking of turning you into a dolphin instead, sending you back to your father."  
**

Poseidon: how about I turn you into a platter of bread and cheese with a glass of wine and eat you!

Hermes and Apollo bursted into laughter

Eos: you would eat your own Nephew?

Poseidon: not saying I would do it but, if he ever hurt percy or turned him into anything I would probably do so 

**"Mr. D - " Chiron warned.**

"Oh, all right," Dionysus relented. "There's one more option. But it's deadly foolishness." Dionysus rose, and the invisible players' cards dropped to the table. "I'm off to Olympus for the emergency meeting. If the boy is still here when I get back, I'll turn him into an Atlantic bottlenose. Do you understand? And Perseus Jackson, if you're at all smart, you'll see that's a much more sensible choice than what Chiron feels you must do."

Dionysus picked up a playing card, twisted it, and it became a plastic rectangle. A credit card? No. A security pass.

He snapped his fingers.

The air seemed to fold and bend around him. He became a hologram, then a wind, then he was gone, leaving only the smell of fresh-pressed grapes lingering behind.

Chiron smiled at me, but he looked tired and strained. "Sit, Percy, please. And Grover."

We did.

Chiron laid his cards on the table, a winning hand he hadn't gotten to use.

"Tell me, Percy," he said. "What did you make of the hellhound?"

Just hearing the name made me shudder.

Chiron probably wanted me to say, Heck, it was nothing. I eat hellhounds for breakfast. But I didn't feel like lying.  


Poseidon: that's good son, dont be scared to tell Chiron the truth

**"It scared me," I said. "If you hadn't shot it, I'd be dead."**

"You'll meet worse, Percy. Far worse, before you're done."

"Done ... with what?"

"Your quest, of course. Will you accept it?"

I glanced at Grover, who was crossing his fingers.

"Um, sir," I said, "you haven't told me what it is yet."

**Chiron grimaced. "Well, that's the hard part, the details."**

Thunder rumbled across the valley. The storm clouds had now reached the edge of the beach. As far as I could see, the sky and the sea were boiling together.

"Poseidon and Zeus," I said. "They're fighting over something valuable ... something that was stolen, aren't they?"  


Athena looked shocked

Athena: wow he actually figured it out

Poseidon: well yeah, he had that dream remember

Athena looked at Poseidon bewildered

'Damn he said something intelligent' she thought

' of course I would, your not the only one that can do that you know' Poseidon said in her head

She glared at him

**Chiron and Grover exchanged looks.**

Chiron sat forward in his wheelchair. "How did you know that?"

My face felt hot. I wished I hadn't opened my big mouth. "The weather since Christmas has been weird, like the sea and the sky are fighting. Then I talked to Annabeth, and she'd overheard something about a theft. And ... I've also been having these dreams."

"I knew it," Grover said.

"Hush, satyr," Chiron ordered.

"But it is his quest!" Grover's eyes were bright with excitement. "It must be!"

"Only the Oracle can determine." Chiron stroked his bristly beard. "Nevertheless, Percy, you are correct. Your father and Zeus are having their worst quarrel in centuries. They are fighting over something valuable that was stolen. To be precise: a lightning bolt."  


Zeus: WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

He looked angered

**I laughed nervously. "A what?"**

"Do not take this lightly," Chiron warned. "I'm not talking about some tinfoil-covered zigzag you'd see in a second-grade play. I'm talking about a two-foot-long cylinder of high-grade celestial bronze, capped on both ends with god-level explosives."

"Oh."

"Zeus's master bolt," Chiron said, getting worked up now. "The symbol of his power, from which all other lightning bolts are patterned. The first weapon made by the Cyclopes for the war against the Titans, the bolt that sheered the top off Mount Etna and hurled Kronos from his throne; the master bolt, which packs enough power to make mortal hydrogen bombs look like firecrackers."

"And it's missing?"

"Stolen," Chiron said.  


Zeus had bubbles forming in the corners of his mouth he was angry 

**"By who?"  
**

Athena: by Whom

**"By whom," Chiron corrected. Once a teacher, always a teacher.**

Athena blushed

While Poseidon snickered

**"By you."**

My mouth fell open.

"At least" - Chiron held up a hand - "that's what Zeus thinks. During the winter solstice, at the last council of the gods, Zeus and Poseidon had an argument. The usual nonsense: 'Mother Rhea always liked you best', 'Air disasters are more spectacular than sea disasters,' et cetera. Afterward, Zeus realized his master bolt was missing, taken from the throne room under his very nose. He immediately blamed Poseidon. Now, a god cannot usurp another god's symbol of power directly - that is forbidden by the most ancient of divine laws. But Zeus believes your father convinced a human hero to take it."

"But I didn't - "

"Patience and listen, child," Chiron said. "Zeus has good reason to be suspicious. The forges of the Cyclopes are under the ocean, which gives Poseidon some influence over the makers of his brother's lightning. Zeus believes Poseidon has taken the master bolt, and is now secretly having the Cyclopes build an arsenal of illegal copies, which might be used to topple Zeus from his throne. The only thing Zeus wasn't sure about was which hero Poseidon used to steal the bolt. Now Poseidon has openly claimed you as his son. You were in New York over the winter holidays. You could easily have snuck into Olympus. Zeus believes he has found his thief."

"But I've never even been to Olympus! Zeus is crazy!"  


Zeus looked outraged

Zeus: THAT LITTLE INFURNAL KID DARES CALL ME CRAZY!

The Throne room shook violently

Kronos stopped him in time

Everyone looked at him

Kronos: what he was getting out of control

Atlas snickered

Crius: does that remind you of anyone Kronos

He said smiling almost snickering

Kronos looked confused

**Chiron and Grover glanced nervously at the sky. The clouds didn't seem to be parting around us, as Grover had promised. They were rolling straight over our valley, sealing us in like a coffin lid.**

"Er, Percy ...?" Grover said. "We don't use the c-word to describe the Lord of the Sky."

"Perhaps paranoid," Chiron suggested. "Then again, Poseidon has tried to unseat Zeus before. I believe that was question thirty-eight on your final exam..." He looked at me as if he actually expected me to remember question thirty-eight.

How could anyone accuse me of stealing a god's weapon? I couldn't even steal a slice of pizza from Gabe's poker party without getting busted.

Hermes looked mock offended

Apollo laughed hard

Hermes: he couldn't steal a slice of pizza

Apollo: hahahaha maybe the fatass was patrolling it like it was his baby

Aphrodite: like that classless man could ever do the dance with no pants

**Chiron was waiting for an answer.**

"Something about a golden net?" I guessed. "Poseidon and Hera and a few other gods ... they, like, trapped Zeus and wouldn't let him out until he promised to be a better ruler, right?"

"Correct," Chiron said. "And Zeus has never trusted Poseidon since. Of course, Poseidon denies stealing the master bolt. He took great offense at the accusation. The two have been arguing back and forth for months, threatening war. And now, you've come along - the proverbial last straw."

"But I'm just a kid!"

"Percy," Grover cut in, "if you were Zeus, and you already thought your brother was plotting to overthrow you, then your brother suddenly admitted he had broken the sacred oath he took after World War II, that he's fathered a new mortal hero who might be used as a weapon against you... Wouldn't that put a twist in your toga?"  


Poseidon: it really sounds like they think he did it

Athena: they are pointing out possibilities Coral Corpse

Poseidon: whatever Book butt

Apollo and Hermes laughed at that last comment

Apollo: its….saying…Athena….has….a ….flat…butt

He said rolling on the ground before Artemis kicked him to get up

**"But I didn't do anything. Poseidon - my dad - he didn't really have this master bolt stolen, did he?"**

Chiron sighed. "Most thinking observers would agree that thievery is not Poseidon's style. But the Sea God is too proud to try convincing Zeus of that. Zeus has demanded that Poseidon return the bolt by the summer solstice. 

Poseidon: of course he would think that's me

Hera: well you did try to over throw him

Poseidon looked at her in disbelief

Poseidon: you do know you were the Commander and chief of that operation

Hera: oh well, I guess bigons are bigons

**That's June twenty-first, ten days from now. Poseidon wants an apology for being called a thief by the same date. I hoped that diplomacy might prevail, that Hera or Demeter or Hestia would make the two brothers see sense.**

All three sisters snorted

Demeter: believe us, we've tried

Hera: you'd have a better chance getting a monkey to eat peanut butter off its tail

Hestia giggled at her sisters comments

They smiled at her and she smiled back

**But your arrival has inflamed Zeus's temper. Now neither god will back down. Unless someone intervenes, unless the master bolt is found and returned to Zeus before the solstice, there will be war. And do you know what a full-fledged war would look like, Percy?"**

"Bad?" I guessed.

"Imagine the world in chaos. Nature at war with itself. Olympians forced to choose sides between Zeus and Poseidon. Destruction. Carnage. Millions dead. 

Hestia couldn't help but frown

'All those innocent people dying because of my brothers unwise decisions' she thought

**Western civilization turned into a battleground so big it will make the Trojan War look like a water-balloon fight."  
**

**Kronos: what in Tartarus is the Trojan War?**

Atlas: mustve been pretty huge to be compared to….um….what are Water balloons?

Apollo: oh man, they are these latex thingys that you fill with water that are fun to throw at people

Hermes fist bumped him while Artemis rolled her eyes

Atlas: is that so?

Hermes: yes

Kronos: what happened? What is the Trojan War?

Athena: well it….

Zeus: I think I will tell this tale to my father

Athena huffed

Zeus: so basically it all started when Thetis , I think Oceanus' Daughter *Oceanus thought about it* was going to marry a mortal king named Peleus the future father of the Greatest Warrior of all time, so all the gods and goddesses were invited except Eris whom I advised Hera was not a good idea not to invite but of course she has a mind of her own,*Hera glared* so for revenge she breached the ceremony party and put a golden apple down signed for the fairest so of course my wife Hera went for it, as did my Daughter, and Aphrodite * 'Oh mans' were heard all over the room* so after years of bickering they decided I should decide but I was not going to because it would cause catastrophy for the kingdom, so I decided to let the mortal Paris of Troy judge them, so I sent them down, and they all bribed him * ' yeah that's right I knew about that' and glared at them* so he chose Aphrodite * ' ah idiot, you are a moron paris, why aphrodite' was being groaned and moaned all over, while the goddess glared at them* so Hera and Athena became so angry, they decided to plot against the walled city of troy, im gonna skip over Sparta and go straight toward the end * Ares groaned in disappointment then fast forward to the fall of troy part, Hector kills who he thought was Achilles, but it was his cousin Patroclus, and so Achilles gets angry and fights Hector and Hector is tricked by Athena and so Achilles fatally kills Hector and is victorious, but then Paris take revenge and kills him through his only vulnerable spot, after a while the King Commander of the Greek Army Asks Odysseus King of Ithaca to Build a Horse and breach troy, long story short, The Trojans bought the Horse story and later that night the Greeks poured into Troy and massacred them, raped them,and took no prisoners.

The Titans looked astonished

Crius: the Greeks of Humankind are real strong willed

Zeus: yep

Eos: lets continue shall we**  
**

**"Bad," I repeated.**

"And you, Percy Jackson, would be the first to feel Zeus's wrath."

It started to rain. Volleyball players stopped their game and stared in stunned silence at the sky.

I had brought this storm to Half-Blood Hill. Zeus was punishing the whole camp because of me. I was furious.

"So I have to find the stupid bolt," I said. "And return it to Zeus."  


Zeus: my bolt isn't stupid!

Hera: your right

Zeus: really

He smiled at Hera

Hera: yeah, the one who wields it and obsesses about it is

Zeus growled at Hera

**"What better peace offering," Chiron said, "than to have the son of Poseidon return Zeus's property?"**

"If Poseidon doesn't have it, where is the thing?"

"I believe I know." Chiron's expression was grim. "Part of a prophecy I had years ago ... well, some of the lines make sense to me, now. But before I can say more, you must officially take up the quest. You must seek the counsel of the Oracle."

"Why can't you tell me where the bolt is beforehand?"

"Because if I did, you would be too afraid to accept the challenge."

I swallowed. "Good reason."

"You agree then?"

I looked at Grover, who nodded encouragingly.

Easy for him. I was the one Zeus wanted to kill.

"All right," I said. "It's better than being turned into a dolphin."

"Then it's time you consulted the Oracle," Chiron said. "Go upstairs, Percy Jackson, to the attic. When you come back down, assuming you're still sane, we will talk more."

Four flights up, the stairs ended under a green trapdoor.

I pulled the cord. The door swung down, and a wooden ladder clattered into place.

The warm air from above smelled like mildew and rotten wood and something else ... a smell I remembered from biology class. Reptiles. The smell of snakes.

I held my breath and climbed.

The attic was filled with Greek hero junk: armor stands covered in cobwebs; once-bright shields pitted with rust; old leather steamer trunks plastered with stickers saying ITHAKA, CIRCE'S ISLE, and LAND OF THE AMAZONS. One long table was stacked with glass jars filled with pickled things - severed hairy claws, huge yellow eyes, various other parts of monsters. A dusty mounted trophy on the wall looked like a giant snake's head, but with horns and a full set of shark's teeth. The plaque read, HYDRA HEAD #1, WOODSTOCK, N.Y., 1969.

By the window, sitting on a wooden tripod stool, was the most gruesome memento of all: a mummy. Not the wrapped-in-cloth kind, but a human female body shriveled to a husk. She wore a tie-dyed sundress, lots of beaded necklaces, and a headband over long black hair. The skin of her face was thin and leathery over her skull, and her eyes were glassy white slits, as if the real eyes had been replaced by marbles; she'd been dead a long, long time.  


Apollo: my Oracle, when will it change!

Hades looked down knowing what happened

**Looking at her sent chills up my back. And that was before she sat up on her stool and opened her mouth. A green mist poured from the mummy's mouth, coiling over the floor in thick tendrils, hissing like twenty thousand snakes. I stumbled over myself trying to get to the trapdoor, but it slammed shut. Inside my head, I heard a voice, slithering into one ear and coiling around my brain: I am the spirit of Delphi, speaker of the prophecies of Phoebus Apollo, slayer of the mighty Python. Approach, seeker, and ask.**

I wanted to say, No thanks, wrong door, just looking for the bathroom. But I forced myself to take a deep breath.  


Everyone laughed at that

**The mummy wasn't alive. She was some kind of gruesome receptacle for something else, the power that was now swirling around me in the green mist. But its presence didn't feel evil, like my demonic math teacher Mrs. Dodds or the Minotaur. It felt more like the Three Fates I'd seen knitting the yarn outside the highway fruit stand: ancient, powerful, and definitely not human. But not particularly interested in killing me, either.**

I got up the courage to ask, "What is my destiny?"

Hermes: oh straight to the point I see

Apollo: noted

He took out his pocket calculator and note pad and did the math

Everyone looked at him like he'd eaten a rotten piece of meat

****

The mist swirled more thickly, collecting right in front of me and around the table with the pickled monster-part jars. Suddenly there were four men sitting around the table, playing cards. Their faces became clearer. It was Smelly Gabe and his buddies.  


Poseidon: . !

**My fists clenched, though I knew this poker party couldn't be real. It was an illusion, made out of mist.**

Gabe turned toward me and spoke in the rasping voice of the Oracle: You shall go west, and face the god who has turned.

His buddy on the right looked up and said in the same voice: You shall find what was stolen, and see it safely returned.

The guy on the left threw in two poker chips, then said: You shall be betrayed by one who calls you a friend.

Finally, Eddie, our building super, delivered the worst line of all: And you shall fail to save what matters most, in the end.

The figures began to dissolve. At first I was too stunned to say anything, but as the mist retreated, coiling into a huge green serpent and slithering back into the mouth of the mummy, I cried, "Wait! What do you mean? What friend? What will I fail to save?"

The tail of the mist snake disappeared into the mummy's mouth. She reclined back against the wall. Her mouth closed tight, as if it hadn't been open in a hundred years. The attic was silent again, abandoned, nothing but a room full of mementos.

I got the feeling that I could stand here until I had cobwebs, too, and I wouldn't learn anything else.

My audience with the Oracle was over.

"Well?" Chiron asked me.

I slumped into a chair at the pinochle table. "She said I would retrieve what was stolen."

**Grover sat forward, chewing excitedly on the remains of a Diet Coke can. "That's great!"**

"What did the Oracle say exactly?" Chiron pressed. "This is important."

My ears were still tingling from the reptilian voice. "She . .. she said I would go west and face a god who had turned. I would retrieve what was stolen and see it safely returned."

"I knew it," Grover said.

Chiron didn't look satisfied. "Anything else?"

I didn't want to tell him.

What friend would betray me? I didn't have that many.

And the last line - I would fail to save what mattered most. What kind of Oracle would send me on a quest and tell me, Oh, by the way, you'll fail

How could I confess that?

"No," I said. "That's about it."

He studied my face. "Very well, Percy. But know this: the Oracle's words often have double meanings. Don't dwell on them too much. The truth is not always clear until events come to pass."

I got the feeling he knew I was holding back something bad, and he was trying to make me feel better.

"Okay," I said, anxious to change topics. "So where do I go? Who's this god in the west?"

"Ah, think, Percy," Chiron said. "If Zeus and Poseidon weaken each other in a war, who stands to gain?"

"Somebody else who wants to take over?" I guessed.

"Yes, quite. Someone who harbors a grudge, who has been unhappy with his lot since the world was divided eons ago, whose kingdom would grow powerful with the deaths of millions. Someone who hates his brothers for forcing him into an oath to have no more children, an oath that both of them have now broken."

I thought about my dreams, the evil voice that had spoken from under the ground. "Hades."  


Hades groaned 'it had to him, why him'

**Chiron nodded. "The Lord of the Dead is the only possibility."  
**

Hades glowed dark

Hades: NO I AM NOT!

Then a blast of dark energy hit everyone even the Titans

Then Hestia, walked over to him and put her hands on his hands which were clenched.

Hestia: brother, it is only natural that that be the option, and besides, it would be better if it was you than * she directed her head toward Kronos*

Hades calmed down

Hades oh okay I get it

He smiled at his sister and she smiled back

**A scrap of aluminum dribbled out of Grover's mouth. "Whoa, wait. Wh-what?"**

"A Fury came after Percy," Chiron reminded him. "She watched the young man until she was sure of his identity, then tried to kill him. Furies obey only one lord: Hades."

"Yes, but - but Hades hates all heroes," Grover protested. "Especially if he has found out Percy is a son of Poseidon... ."

"A hellhound got into the forest," Chiron continued. "Those can only be summoned from the Fields of Punishment, and it had to be summoned by someone within the camp. Hades must have a spy here. He must suspect Poseidon will try to use Percy to clear his name. Hades would very much like to kill this young half-blood before he can take on the quest."

"Great," I muttered. "That's two major gods who want to kill me."

"But a quest to ..." Grover swallowed. "I mean, couldn't the master bolt be in some place like Maine? Maine's very nice this time of year."

"Hades sent a minion to steal the master bolt," Chiron insisted. "He hid it in the Underworld, knowing full well that Zeus would blame Poseidon. I don't pretend to understand the Lord of the Dead's motives perfectly, or why he chose this time to start a war, but one thing is certain. Percy must go to the Underworld, find the master bolt, and reveal the truth."

A strange fire burned in my stomach. The weirdest thing was: it wasn't fear. It was anticipation. The desire for revenge. Hades had tried to kill me three times so far, with the Fury, the Minotaur, and the hellhound. It was his fault my mother had disappeared in a flash of light. Now he was trying to frame me and my dad for a theft we hadn't committed.

I was ready to take him on.  


Poseidon:I know what your thinking son, but trust me, you are not yet ready for that.

Hades smirked ' he is quite anxious to defeat me I nmy own domain, I cant wait to see hwo this plays out' he thought

**Besides, if my mother was in the Underworld ...**

Whoa, boy, said the small part of my brain that was still sane. You're a kid. Hades is a god.

Grover was trembling. He'd started eating pinochle cards like potato chips.

The poor guy needed to complete a quest with me so he could get his searcher's license, whatever that was, but how could I ask him to do this quest, especially when the Oracle said I was destined to fail? This was suicide.

"Look, if we know it's Hades," I told Chiron, "why can't we just tell the other gods? Zeus or Poseidon could go down to the Underworld and bust some heads."

"Suspecting and knowing are not the same," Chiron said. "Besides, even if the other gods suspect Hades - and I imagine Poseidon does - they couldn't retrieve the bolt themselves. Gods cannot cross each other's territories except by invitation. That is another ancient rule. Heroes, on the other hand, have certain privileges. They can go anywhere, challenge anyone, as long as they're bold enough and strong enough to do it. No god can be held responsible for a hero's actions. Why do you think the gods always operate through humans?"

"You're saying I'm being used."

"I'm saying it's no accident Poseidon has claimed you now. It's a very risky gamble, but he's in a desperate situation. He needs you."

My dad needs me.

Emotions rolled around inside me like bits of glass in a kaleidoscope. I didn't know whether to feel resentful or grateful or happy or angry. Poseidon had ignored me for twelve years. Now suddenly he needed me.  


Poseidon looked down

**I looked at Chiron. "You've known I was Poseidon's son all along, haven't you?"**

"I had my suspicions. As I said ... I've spoken to the Oracle, too."

I got the feeling there was a lot he wasn't telling me about his prophecy, but I decided I couldn't worry about that right now. After all, I was holding back information too.

"So let me get this straight," I said. "I'm supposed go to the Underworld and confront the Lord of the Dead."

"Check," Chiron said.

"Find the most powerful weapon in the universe."

"Check."

"And get it back to Olympus before the summer solstice, in ten days."

"That's about right."

I looked at Grover, who gulped down the ace of hearts.

"Did I mention that Maine is very nice this time of year?" he asked weakly.

"You don't have to go," I told him. "I can't ask that of you.

"Oh ..." He shifted his hooves. "No ... it's just that satyrs and underground places ... well..."

He took a deep breath, then stood, brushing the shredded cards and aluminum bits off his T-shirt. "You saved my life, Percy. If ... if you're serious about wanting me along, I won't let you down."  


Hestia smiled

Hestia: such a loyal Satyr

**I felt so relieved I wanted to cry, though I didn't think that would be very heroic. Grover was the only friend I'd ever had for longer than a few months. I wasn't sure what good a satyr could do against the forces of the dead, but I felt better knowing he'd be with me.**

"All the way, G-man." I turned to Chiron. "So where do we go? The Oracle just said to go west."

"The entrance to the Underworld is always in the west. It moves from age to age, just like Olympus. Right now, of course, it's in America."

"Where?"

Chiron looked surprised. "I thought that would be obvious enough. The entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles."

"Oh," I said. "Naturally. So we just get on a plane - "  


Zeus laughed evily

Zeus: yes come into my domain, and I will kill you painfully

Poseidon: I think you will do no such thing!

**"No!" Grover shrieked. "Percy, what are you thinking? Have you ever been on a plane in your life?"**

I shook my head, feeling embarrassed. My mom had never taken me anywhere by plane. She'd always said we didn't have the money. Besides, her parents had died in a plane crash.

"Percy, think," Chiron said. "You are the son of the Sea God. Your father's bitterest rival is Zeus, Lord of the Sky. Your mother knew better than to trust you in an airplane. You would be in Zeus's domain. You would never come down again alive."  


Zeus murmured: Got that right

**Overhead, lightning crackled. Thunder boomed.**

"Okay," I said, determined not to look at the storm. "So, I'll travel overland."

"That's right," Chiron said. "Two companions may accompany you. Grover is one. The other has already volunteered, if you will accept her help."

"Gee," I said, feigning surprise. "Who else would be stupid enough to volunteer for a quest like this?"

The air shimmered behind Chiron.

Annabeth became visible, stuffing her Yankees cap into her back pocket.  


Athena went wide eyed

**"I've been waiting a long time for a quest, seaweed brain," she said. "Athena is no fan of Poseidon, but if you're going to save the world, I'm the best person to keep you from messing up."  
**

Athena: eh shes got a point

Poseidon snorted

Poseidon: if you say so

Athena: I do say so

Poseidon: whatever floats your boat

Athena: what every flies your ride

**"If you do say so yourself," I said. "I suppose you have a plan, wise girl?"**

Her cheeks colored. "Do you want my help or not?"

The truth was, I did. I needed all the help I could get.  


Athena: good get all the help you can get

**"A trio," I said. "That'll work."  
**

Apollo's mouth watered

Apollo: ooooooooh a Trio

Artemis rolled her eyes and smacked his head

Artemis: he isn't talking about Fajitas Apollo!

Apollo: oh…um…i..i knew that I just wanted to see if you were paying attention

Artemis scowled

**"Excellent," Chiron said. "This afternoon, we can take you as far as the bus terminal in Manhattan. After that, you are on your own."**

Lightning flashed. Rain poured down on the meadows that were never supposed to have violent weather.

"No time to waste," Chiron said. "I think you should all get packing."

Eos: and done, Next?

Epimetheus: since I haven't gotten a chance ithink I will

Eos threw the book over to him


	11. Chapter 11

**I RUIN A PERFECTLY GOOD BUS**

Epimetheus was about to read when 2 flashes came into the room

Oceanus and Hyperion smiled wide

"where are we?" the two Titanesses asked

Zeus: Mount Olympus

Hyperion: Theia! My darling wife come sit by me and your kids

She smiled and did what he asked

Oceanus: Tethys, my wonderful sunset of beauty, I wish you do do the same

She did just that and also kisses him cause she missed him

Epimetheus

**It didn't take me long to pack. I decided to leave the Minotaur horn in my cabin, which left me only an extra change of clothes and a toothbrush to stuff in a backpack Grover had found for me.  
**

Hermes: yeah ''found''

Apollo laughed out loud until he accidently belched, causing everyone to roar in laughter

Apollo blushed

**The camp store loaned me one hundred dollars in mortal money and twenty golden drachmas. These coins were as big as Girl Scout cookies and had images of various Greek gods stamped on one side and the EmpireStateBuilding on the other. The ancient mortal drachmas had been silver, Chiron told us, but Olympians never used less than pure gold.**

Tethys: Gold? I thought Celestial bronze was the Metal everyone uses.

Oceanus: yes darling it is, but we are reading about the future and btw we are in the future if your wondering.

Tethys: how is that possible, and how far into the future are we, cause I left our babies unattended in the dining room in the Oceanic Palace.

A note fell down to Tethys

_Tethys your children are just fine, we told ourselves in the past to send someone to care for them, so no need to be worried my dear._

_Sincerely the fates_

Tethys: oh ok

Oceanus smiled at her and cuddled with her.

**Chiron said the coins might come in handy for non-mortal transactions - whatever that meant. He gave Annabeth and me each a canteen of nectar and a Ziploc bag full of ambrosia squares, to be used only in emergencies, if we were seriously hurt. It was god food, Chiron reminded us. It would cure us of almost any injury, but it was lethal to mortals. Too much of it would make a half-blood very, very feverish. An overdose would burn us up, literally.  
**

Hyperion: yeah you wouldn't want that

Coeus: yeah definetly and I speak from experience

Hyperion: you shouldn't have tried to take my Chariot!

Coeus: how was I supposed to know it was made of flames

Hyperion looked at him like he was an idiot

Hyperion: because im the Titan of Light and of course everything around me is Hot and Weatherly like my wife

Theia blushed and snuggled closer to him

Coeus: ugh! Fine you win

Helios gave his dad a high five

**Annabeth was bringing her magic Yankees cap, which she told me had been a twelfth-birthday present from her mom.**

Athena smiled ' she did like her gift, like I thought she would' she thought

**She carried a book on famous classical architecture, written in Ancient Greek, to read when she got bored, and a long bronze knife, hidden in her shirt sleeve. I was sure the knife would get us busted the first time we went through a metal detector.**

Grover wore his fake feet and his pants to pass as human. He wore a green rasta-style cap, because when it rained his curly hair flattened and you could just see the tips of his horns. His bright orange backpack was full of scrap metal and apples to snack on. In his pocket was a set of reed pipes his daddy goat had carved for him, even though he only knew two songs: Mozart's Piano Concerto no. 12 and Hilary Duff's "So Yesterday," both of which sounded pretty bad on reed pipes.  


Apollo cringed

**We waved good-bye to the other campers, took one last look at the strawberry fields, the ocean, and the Big House, then hiked up Half-Blood Hill to the tall pine tree that used to be Thalia, daughter of Zeus.  
**

Zeus perked up at the name of his daughter

**Chiron was waiting for us in his wheelchair. Next to him stood the surfer dude I'd seen when I was recovering in the sick room. According to Grover, the guy was the camp's head of security. He supposedly had eyes all over his body so he could never be surprised. Today, though, he was wearing a chauffeur's uniform, so I could only see extra peepers on his hands, face and neck.  
**

Hera smiled 'Argus'

**"This is Argus," Chiron told me. "He will drive you into the city, and, er, well, keep an eye on things."**

I heard footsteps behind us.

Luke came running up the hill, carrying a pair of basketball shoes.

"Hey!" he panted. "Glad I caught you."

Annabeth blushed, the way she always did when Luke was around.

"Just wanted to say good luck," Luke told me. "And I thought ... um, maybe you could use these."

He handed me the sneakers, which looked pretty normal. They even smelled kind of normal.  


Aphrodite: why would he smell the sneakers?

**Luke said, "Maia!"**

White bird's wings sprouted out of the heels, startling me so much, I dropped them. The shoes flapped around on the ground until the wings folded up and disappeared.

"Awesome!" Grover said.

Luke smiled. "Those served me well when I was on my quest. Gift from Dad. Of course, I don't use them much these days..." His expression turned sad.

I didn't know what to say. It was cool enough that Luke had come to say good-bye. I'd been afraid he might resent me for getting so much attention the last few days. But here he was giving me a magic gift... It made me blush almost as much as Annabeth.

"Hey, man," I said. "Thanks."

"Listen, Percy ..." Luke looked uncomfortable. "A lot of hopes are riding on you. So just ... kill some monsters for me, okay?"

We shook hands. Luke patted Grover's head between his horns, then gave a good-bye hug to Annabeth, who looked like she might pass out.

After Luke was gone, I told her, "You're hyperventilating."

"Am not."

"You let him capture the flag instead of you, didn't you?"

"Oh ... why do I want to go anywhere with you, Percy?"

She stomped down the other side of the hill, where a white SUV waited on the shoulder of the road. Argus followed, jingling his car keys.

I picked up the flying shoes and had a sudden bad feeling. I looked at Chiron. "I won't be able to use these, will I?"  


Poseidon: nice gesture but your crazy uncle would kill you, and then I would create a whirlpool of water , whip it through Olympus and drag him out into the open Ocean-

Oceanus cleared his throat

-Open Sea, then drag him to the deepest depths bordering the tip of the underworld.

,while Zeus looked mortified, while Hades laughed

Everyone looked shocked at Poseidons words 

**He shook his head. "Luke meant well, Percy. But taking to the air ... that would not be wise for you."**

I nodded, disappointed, but then I got an idea. "Hey, Grover. You want a magic item?"

His eyes lit up. "Me?"

Pretty soon we'd laced the sneakers over his fake feet, and the world's first flying goat boy was ready for launch.

"Maia!" he shouted.  


Hestia turned to Hermes

Hestia: I think its very nice you made your shoes respond to your mothers name in your mothers memory

Hermes nodded and smiled to Hestia

**He got off the ground okay, but then fell over sideways so his backpack dragged through the grass. The winged shoes kept bucking up and down like tiny broncos.**

"Practice," Chiron called after him. "You just need practice!"

"Aaaaa!" Grover went flying sideways down the hill like a possessed lawn mower, heading toward the van.  


Apollo suddenly screamed out of the blue, scaring everyone

Apollo: hahahahahahah boom!

Artemis: what did you do that for

Apollo: to see if I could scare you

Demeter: well you did, and that wasn't very nice

Apollo: Auntie Dem Dem

**Before I could follow, Chiron caught my arm. "I should have trained you better, Percy," he said. "If only I had more time. Hercules, Jason - they all got more training."**

"That's okay. I just wish - "

I stopped myself because I was about to sound like a brat. I was wishing my dad had given me a cool magic item to help on the quest, something as good as Luke's flying shoes, or Annabeth's invisible cap.

"What am I thinking?" Chiron cried. "I can't let you get away without this."

He pulled a pen from his coat pocket and handed it to me. It was an ordinary disposable ballpoint, black ink, removable cap. Probably cost thirty cents.  


Poseidon: Riptide

Poseidon said smiling sadly, thinking about all its been through

**"Gee," I said. "Thanks."**

"Percy, that's a gift from your father. I've kept it for years, not knowing you were who I was waiting for. But the prophecy is clear to me now. You are the one."

I remembered the field trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, when I'd vaporized Mrs. Dodds. Chiron had thrown me a pen that turned into a sword. Could this be ... ?

I took off the cap, and the pen grew longer and heavier in my hand. In half a second, I held a shimmering bronze sword with a double-edged blade, a leather-wrapped grip, and a flat hilt riveted with gold studs. It was the first weapon that actually felt balanced in my hand.

"The sword has a long and tragic history that we need not go into," Chiron told me. "Its name is Anaklusmos."

"'Riptide,'" I translated, surprised the Ancient Greek came so easily.  


Athena: as it should for all Demigods

**"Use it only for emergencies," Chiron said, "and only against monsters. No hero should harm mortals unless absolutely necessary, of course, but this sword wouldn't harm them in any case."**

I looked at the wickedly sharp blade. "What do you mean it wouldn't harm mortals? How could it not?"

"The sword is celestial bronze. Forged by the Cyclopes, tempered in the heart of Mount Etna, cooled in the River Lethe. It's deadly to monsters, to any creature from the Underworld, provided they don't kill you first. But the blade will pass through mortals like an illusion. They simply are not important enough for the blade to kill. And I should warn you: as a demigod, you can be killed by either celestial or normal weapons. You are twice as vulnerable."

"Good to know."

"Now recap the pen."

I touched the pen cap to the sword tip and instantly Riptide shrank to a ballpoint pen again. I tucked it in my pocket, a little nervous, because I was famous for losing pens at school.  


Everyone laughed at that

Apollo: famous for Klutzy things

Artemis: like you and your poems

Ares: and you with your Sexist, hypocritical no knowledged accusations about men.

Artemis: those aren't Accusations-

Ares: oh really,you haven't been around men, so how can you say that, you just assume shit,and poison little girls minds against men so they think men are bad people, so you are truly the last person who should talk about Klutzy things.

Artemis was speechless

Everyone was amazed at Ares

**"You can't," Chiron said.**

"Can't what?"

"Lose the pen," he said. "It is enchanted. It will always reappear in your pocket. Try it."

I was wary, but I threw the pen as far as I could down the hill and watched it disappear in the grass.

"It may take a few moments," Chiron told me. "Now check your pocket."

Sure enough, the pen was there.

"Okay, that's extremely cool," I admitted. "But what if a mortal sees me pulling out a sword?"

Chiron smiled. "Mist is a powerful thing, Percy."

"Mist?"

"Yes. Read The Iliad. It's full of references to the stuff. Whenever divine or monstrous elements mix with the mortal world, they generate Mist, which obscures the vision of humans. You will see things just as they are, being a half-blood, but humans will interpret things quite differently. Remarkable, really, the lengths to which humans will go to fit things into their version of reality."

I put Riptide back in my pocket.

For the first time, the quest felt real. I was actually leaving Half-Blood Hill. I was heading west with no adult supervision, no backup plan, not even a cell phone. (Chiron said cell phones were traceable by monsters; if we used one, it would be worse than sending up a flare.) I had no weapon stronger than a sword to fight off monsters and reach the Land of the Dead.

"Chiron ..." I said. "When you say the gods are immortal... I mean, there was a time before them, right?"  


All the Titans perked up at this

Atlas: of course

Kronos: the Golden Age

Crius: it was a swell time, that is until the Prophecy

The Titanesses shuddered

Coeus: it still has to be completed

Epimetheus kept silent, for he knew full well what was to come

Tethys: lets not think about what could happen and read okay

Trying to brighten the mood a little

**"Four ages before them, actually. The Time of the Titans was the Fourth Age, sometimes called the Golden Age, which is definitely a misnomer. **

Kronos: EXCUSE ME!

Coeus: I beg your pardon

Atlas: I will crush that little seaman

Hyperion: our Age is full of Republic freedoms of Man

Mnemosyne: except the fact that Kronos kept knowledge from Humanity

Kronos: that was for their own good my dear Mnemo

Prometheus: Continue shall we?

**This, the time of Western civilization and the rule of Zeus, is the Fifth Age."**

**"So what was it like ... before the gods?"  
**

All the Titans looked very interested to know what their Age is described as

**Chiron pursed his lips. "Even I am not old enough to remember that, child, but I know it was a time of darkness and savagery for mortals. Kronos, the lord of the Titans, called his reign the Golden Age because men lived innocent and free of all knowledge. But that was mere propaganda. The Titan king cared nothing for your kind except as appetizers or a source of cheap entertainment.**

Kronos raged

Kronos: I GAVE HUMANITY FOOD,SHELTER AND CLOTHING AND THIS FRIGGIN HORSE HAS THE NERVE TO CALL ME EVIL!

Hyperion; I have never once seen Kronos eat a human, so that's mere propaganda what that horsey man is saying

Helios snickered at his fathers words

**It was only in the early reign of Lord Zeus, when Prometheus the good Titan brought fire to mankind, that your species began to progress, and even then Prometheus was branded a radical thinker. Zeus punished him severely, as you may recall. Of course, eventually the gods warmed to humans, and Western civilization was born."  
**

All the Titans looked shocked

Coeus: you mean Prometheus: gave the Humans fire and that King of Gods punished him.

Zeus looked a little scared at this point

Crius: he helped or so stated in the book humanity and he is punished, that is not a reward worthy of recognition, and you Gods, what do you have to show for being supposedlty better than us Titans!

Zeus: we are taking ccare of the earth, Preserving the Knowledge Mankind has.

Athena: maintain the flow of Life in the World

Epimetheus: may I continue now

Hera: cherish Sacrifices made by Humans and Demigods

**"But the gods can't die now, right? I mean, as long as Western civilization is alive, they're alive. So ... even if I failed, nothing could happen so bad it would mess up everything, right?"**

Chiron gave me a melancholy smile. "No one knows how long the Age of the West will last, Percy. The gods are immortal, yes. But then, so were the Titans. They still exist, locked away in their various prisons, forced to endure endless pain and punishment, reduced in power, but still very much alive. May the Fates forbid that the gods should ever suffer such a doom, or that we should ever return to the darkness and chaos of the past. All we can do, child, is follow our destiny."

Kronos: this book is misrepresting us Titans

All the Gods who fought in the Titan War looked bewildered at their Outbursts

Coeus: so we get sent to Prisons, and Tartarus.

Crius: and what else, someone holds the Sky instead of the Pillars

Kronos: Crius don't be silly, they wouldn't be stupid enough to punish someone that severly.

The Gods looked nervous

'That's exactly what happened' Zeus thought****

"Our destiny ... assuming we know what that is."

"Relax," Chiron told me. "Keep a clear head. And remember, you may be about to prevent the biggest war in human history."

"Relax," I said. "I'm very relaxed."

When I got to the bottom of the hill, I looked back. Under the pine tree that used to be Thalia, daughter of Zeus, Chiron was now standing in full horse-man form, holding his bow high in salute. Just your typical summer-camp send-off by your typical centaur.

* * *

Argus drove us out of the countryside and into western Long Island. It felt weird to be on a highway again, Annabeth and Grover sitting next to me as if we were normal carpoolers. After two weeks at Half-Blood Hill, the real world seemed like a fantasy. I found myself staring at every McDonald's, every kid in the back of his parents' car, every billboard and shopping mall.

"So far so good," I told Annabeth. "Ten miles and not a single monster."

She gave me an irritated look. "It's bad luck to talk that way, seaweed brain."

"Remind me again - why do you hate me so much?"

"I don't hate you."

"Could've fooled me."

She folded her cap of invisibility. "Look ... we're just not supposed to get along, okay? Our parents are rivals."

"Why?"

She sighed. "How many reasons do you want? One time my mom caught Poseidon with his girlfriend in Athena's temple, which is hugely disrespectful. Another time, Athena and Poseidon competed to be the patron god for the city of Athens. Your dad created some stupid saltwater spring for his gift

Poseidon: better than a stupid Olive tree

Athena: not really

Poseidon: yes really, what would people do wth olives besides eat them?

Athena thought about it for a moment

Athena: i…I don't know?

Poseidon: exactly, with my gift they could Boil and cook with it, season their food with it, bath in it, drink it, and all sorts of other useful things

Athena looked confused as to why he got her on the ropes again

**My mom created the olive tree. The people saw that her gift was better, so they named the city after her."**

"They must really like olives."  


Hermes: I like Olives

Apollo: no you like Olive pizza

Hermes: so?

Apollo: you said just Olives you didn't say the whole pizza part.

Hermes: meh!

**"Oh, forget it."**

"Now, if she'd invented pizza - that I could understand."

"I said, forget it!"

In the front seat, Argus smiled. He didn't say anything, but one blue eye on the back of his neck winked at me.

Traffic slowed us down in Queens. By the time we got into Manhattan it was sunset and starting to rain.

Argus dropped us at the Greyhound Station on the Upper East Side, not far from my mom and Gabe's apartment. Taped to a mailbox was a soggy flyer with my picture on it: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY?

I ripped it down before Annabeth and Grover could notice.

Argus unloaded our bags, made sure we got our bus tickets, then drove away, the eye on the back of his hand opening to watch us as he pulled out of the parking lot.

I thought about how close I was to my old apartment. On a normal day, my mom would be home from the candy store by now. Smelly Gabe was probably up there right now, playing poker, not even missing her.

Grover shouldered his backpack. He gazed down the street in the direction I was looking. "You want to know why she married him, Percy?"

I stared at him. "Were you reading my mind or something?"

"Just your emotions." He shrugged. "Guess I forgot to tell you satyrs can do that. You were thinking about your mom and your stepdad, right?"

I nodded, wondering what else Grover might've forgotten to tell me.

"Your mom married Gabe for you," Grover told me. "You call him 'Smelly,' but you've got no idea. The guy has this aura... Yuck. I can smell him from here. I can smell traces of him on you, and you haven't been near him for a week."

"Thanks," I said. "Where's the nearest shower?"

"You should be grateful, Percy. Your stepfather smells so repulsively human he could mask the presence of any demigod. As soon as I took a whiff inside his Camaro, I knew: Gabe has been covering your scent for years. If you hadn't lived with him every summer, you probably would've been found by monsters a long time ago. Your mom stayed with him to protect you. She was a smart lady. She must've loved you a lot to put up with that guy - if that makes you feel any better."  


Poseidon: Sally is a strong woman

Hestia nodded

**It didn't, but I forced myself not to show it. I'll see her again, I thought. She isn't gone.**

I wondered if Grover could still read my emotions, mixed up as they were. I was glad he and Annabeth were with me, but I felt guilty that I hadn't been straight with them. I hadn't told them the real reason I'd said yes to this crazy quest.

The truth was, I didn't care about retrieving Zeus's lightning bolt, or saving the world, or even helping my father out of trouble. The more I thought about it, I resented Poseidon for never visiting me, never helping my mom, never even sending a lousy child-support check. He'd only claimed me because he needed a job done.  


Poseidon looked down

**All I cared about was my mom. Hades had taken her unfairly, and Hades was going to give her back.  
**

Hades: good luck with that

He smirked evily

**You will be betrayed by one who calls you a friend, the Oracle whispered in my mind. You will fail to save what matters most in the end.**

Shut up, I told it.

The rain kept coming down.

We got restless waiting for the bus and decided to play some Hacky Sack with one of Grover's apples. Annabeth was unbelievable. She could bounce the apple off her knee, her elbow, her shoulder, whatever. I wasn't too bad myself.

The game ended when I tossed the apple toward Grover and it got too close to his mouth. In one mega goat bite, our Hacky Sack disappeared - core, stem, and all.  


**Everyone hysterically laughed this time, including the Titans**

Oceanus: this Goat dude is really funny

Tethys kissed his cheek and he blushed

**Grover blushed. He tried to apologize, but Annabeth and I were too busy cracking up.**

Finally the bus came. As we stood in line to board, Grover started looking around, sniffing the air like he smelled his favorite school cafeteria delicacy - enchiladas.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said tensely. "Maybe it's nothing."

But I could tell it wasn't nothing. I started looking over my shoulder, too.

I was relieved when we finally got on board and found seats together in the back of the bus. We stowed our backpacks. Annabeth kept slapping her Yankees cap nervously against her thigh.

As the last passengers got on, Annabeth clamped her hand onto my knee. "Percy."

An old lady had just boarded the bus. She wore a crumpled velvet dress, lace gloves, and a shapeless orange-knit hat that shadowed her face, and she carried a big paisley purse. When she tilted her head up, her black eyes glittered, and my heart skipped a beat.

It was Mrs. Dodds. Older, more withered, but definitely the same evil face.

I scrunched down in my seat.

Behind her came two more old ladies: one in a green hat, one in a purple hat. Otherwise they looked exactly like Mrs. Dodds - same gnarled hands, paisley handbags, wrinkled velvet dresses. Triplet demon grandmothers.  


Athena: OH NO!

Poseidon: seriously Hades, all three!

Hades: what he must have something of mine

Poseidon just glared at him with Athena

**They sat in the front row, right behind the driver. The two on the aisle crossed their legs over the walkway, making an X. It was casual enough, but it sent a clear message: nobody leaves.**

The bus pulled out of the station, and we headed through the slick streets of Manhattan. "She didn't stay dead long," I said, trying to keep my voice from quivering. "I thought you said they could be dispelled for a lifetime."

"I said if you're lucky," Annabeth said. "You're obviously not."

"All three of them," Grover whimpered. "Di immortales!"

"It's okay," Annabeth said, obviously thinking hard. "The Furies. The three worst monsters from the Underworld. No problem. No problem. We'll just slip out the windows."

"They don't open," Grover moaned.

"A back exit?" she suggested.

There wasn't one. Even if there had been, it wouldn't have helped. By that time, we were on  
Ninth Avenue  
, heading for the Lincoln Tunnel.  


Poseidon: no no no no no

Athena: im sure they will get safely away after all we have many books to read

Poseidon: okay

**"They won't attack us with witnesses around," I said. "Will they?"**

**"Mortals don't have good eyes," Annabeth reminded me. "Their brains can only process what they see through the Mist."**

"They'll see three old ladies killing us, won't they?"

She thought about it. "Hard to say. But we can't count on mortals for help. Maybe an emergency exit in the roof ... ?"

We hit the Lincoln Tunnel, and the bus went dark except for the running lights down the aisle. It was eerily quiet without the sound of the rain.

Mrs. Dodds got up. In a flat voice, as if she'd rehearsed it, she announced to the whole bus: "I need to use the rest-room."

"So do I," said the second sister.

"So do I," said the third sister.  


Aphrodite: Gross!

She got whacked

Aphrodite: Artemis!

They wrestled for 5 minutes till Hera took her shoes off and threw one at each of them.

Hera: STOP THAT FIGHTING AND GET BACK IN YOUR THRONES!

**They all started coming down the aisle.**

"I've got it," Annabeth said. "Percy, take my hat."

"What?"

"You're the one they want. Turn invisible and go up the aisle. Let them pass you. Maybe you can get to the front and get away."

"But you guys - "

"There's an outside chance they might not notice us," Annabeth said. "You're a son of one of the Big Three. Your smell might be overpowering."

"I can't just leave you."  


Athena: Fatal flaw: Loyalty

**"Don't worry about us," Grover said. "Go!"**

My hands trembled. I felt like a coward, but I took the Yankees cap and put it on.

When I looked down, my body wasn't there anymore.

I started creeping up the aisle. I managed to get up ten rows, then duck into an empty seat just as the Furies walked past.

Mrs. Dodds stopped, sniffing, and looked straight at me. My heart was pounding.

Apparently she didn't see anything. She and her sisters kept going.

I was free. I made it to the front of the bus. We were almost through the Lincoln Tunnel now. I was about to press the emergency stop button when I heard hideous wailing from the back row.

The old ladies were not old ladies anymore. Their faces were still the same - I guess those couldn't get any uglier - but their bodies had shriveled into leathery brown hag bodies with bat's wings and hands and feet like gargoyle claws. Their handbags had turned into fiery whips.

The Furies surrounded Grover and Annabeth, lashing their whips, hissing: "Where is it? Where?"  


**Athena scrunched her eyebrows**

Athena: it? Not he?

Everyone else wondered this too

**The other people on the bus were screaming, cowering in their seats. They saw something, all right.**

"He's not here!" Annabeth yelled. "He's gone!"

The Furies raised their whips.

Annabeth drew her bronze knife. Grover grabbed a tin can from his snack bag and prepared to throw it.

What I did next was so impulsive and dangerous I should've been named ADHD poster child of the year.  


Apollo and Hermes bellowed in approval

Zeus: SIT DOWN!

Apollo: yes father

Hermes: Sorry father

**The bus driver was distracted, trying to see what was going on in his rearview mirror.**

Still invisible, I grabbed the wheel from him and jerked it to the left. Everybody howled as they were thrown to the right, and I heard what I hoped was the sound of three Furies smashing against the windows.

"Hey!" the driver yelled. "Hey - whoa!"

We wrestled for the wheel. The bus slammed against the side of the tunnel, grinding metal, throwing sparks a mile behind us.

We careened out of the Lincoln Tunnel and back into the rainstorm, people and monsters tossed around the bus, cars plowed aside like bowling pins.

Somehow the driver found an exit. We shot off the highway, through half a dozen traffic lights, and ended up barreling down one of those New Jersey rural roads where you can't believe there's so much nothing right across the river from New York. There were woods to our left, the Hudson River to our right, and the driver seemed to be veering toward the river.

Another great idea: I hit the emergency brake.

The bus wailed, spun a full circle on the wet asphalt, and crashed into the trees. The emergency lights came on. The door flew open. The bus driver was the first one out, the passengers yelling as they stampeded after him. I stepped into the driver's seat and let them pass.

The Furies regained their balance. They lashed their whips at Annabeth while she waved her knife and yelled in Ancient Greek, telling them to back off. Grover threw tin cans.

I looked at the open doorway. I was free to go, but I couldn't leave my friends. I took off the invisible cap. "Hey!"

The Furies turned, baring their yellow fangs at me, and the exit suddenly seemed like an excellent idea. Mrs. Dodds stalked up the aisle, just as she used to do in class, about to deliver my F- math test. Every time she flicked her whip, red flames danced along the barbed leather.

Her two ugly sisters hopped on top of the seats on either side of her and crawled toward me like huge nasty lizards.

"Perseus Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said, in an accent that was definitely from somewhere farther south than Georgia. "You have offended the gods. You shall die."

"I liked you better as a math teacher," I told her.  


People snickered at that

**She growled.**

Annabeth and Grover moved up behind the Furies cautiously, looking for an opening.

I took the ballpoint pen out of my pocket and uncapped it. Riptide elongated into a shimmering double-edged sword.

The Furies hesitated.

Mrs. Dodds had felt Riptide's blade before. She obviously didn't like seeing it again.

"Submit now," she hissed. "And you will not suffer eternal torment."

"Nice try," I told her.

"Percy, look out!" Annabeth cried.

Mrs. Dodds lashed her whip around my sword hand while the Furies on the either side lunged at me.

My hand felt like it was wrapped in molten lead, but I managed not to drop Riptide. I stuck the Fury on the left with its hilt, sending her toppling backward into a seat. I turned and sliced the Fury on the right. As soon as the blade connected with her neck, she screamed and exploded into dust. Annabeth got Mrs. Dodds in a wrestler's hold and yanked her backward while Grover ripped the whip out of her hands.

"Ow!" he yelled. "Ow! Hot! Hot!"  


Hades bursted out laughing

Hades: did you think it would be cold

Then everyone started laughing once again

****

The Fury I'd hilt-slammed came at me again, talons ready, but I swung Riptide and she broke open like a pinata.

Mrs. Dodds was trying to get Annabeth off her back. She kicked, clawed, hissed and bit, but Annabeth held on while Grover got Mrs. Dodds's legs tied up in her own whip. Finally they both shoved her backward into the aisle. Mrs. Dodds tried to get up, but she didn't have room to flap her bat wings, so she kept falling down.

"Zeus will destroy you!" she promised. "Hades will have your soul!"  


Poseidon: I don't think so

**"Braccas meas vescimini!" I yelled.**

I wasn't sure where the Latin came from. I think it meant "Eat my pants!"

Thunder shook the bus. The hair rose on the back of my neck.

"Get out!" Annabeth yelled at me. "Now!" I didn't need any encouragement.

We rushed outside and found the other passengers wandering around in a daze, arguing with the driver, or running around in circles yelling, "We're going to die!" A Hawaiian-shirted tourist with a camera snapped my photograph before I could recap my sword.

"Our bags!" Grover realized. "We left our - "

BOOOOOM!

The windows of the bus exploded as the passengers ran for cover. Lightning shredded a huge crater in the roof, but an angry wail from inside told me Mrs. Dodds was not yet dead.

"Run!" Annabeth said. "She's calling for reinforcements! We have to get out of here!"

We plunged into the woods as the rain poured down, the bus in flames behind us, and nothing but darkness ahead.

Epimetheus: okay done

Prometheus: I will read

Epimetheus: you can?

Everyone laughed

Prometheus: gimme the damn book!

He snatched it

Then proceded to read


	12. Chapter 12

**WE VISIT THE GARDEN GNOME EMPORIUM**

Prometheus read

**In a way, it's nice to know there are Greek gods out there,**

The Gods smiled

**because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong.**

The Gods frowned

**For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some divine force really is trying to mess up your day.**

So there we were, Annabeth and Grover and I, walking through the woods along the New Jersey riverbank, the glow of New York City making the night sky yellow behind us, and the smell of the Hudson reeking in our noses.  


Poseidon: yeah im gonna talk to him about that

Zeus: doesn't he listen to you

Poseidon: not since the everlake flood a while back

Zeus: oh

**Grover was shivering and braying, his big goat eyes turned slit-pupiled and full of terror. "Three Kindly Ones. All three at once."**

I was pretty much in shock myself. The explosion of bus windows still rang in my ears. But Annabeth kept pulling us along, saying: "Come on! The farther away we get, the better."  


Athena: good plan good plan

**"All our money was back there," I reminded her. "Our food and clothes. Everything."  
**

Apollo:well that sucks

Hermes: all the merchandise given without paying for it

Athena: my daughter will come up with a way to get everything they need

Zeus: and I bet that satyr will probably just wet himself and stutter, like he did when he failed Thalia!

Hera scowled at the name

**"Well, maybe if you hadn't decided to jump into the fight - "  
**

Poseidon: is your daughter seriously blaming him for saving them

Athena: I think she is just saying she could of handled it without his help

Poseidon rolled his eyes

Poseidon: I doubt that

Athena just glared at him

**"What did you want me to do? Let you get killed?"  
**

Athena: she would've been fine

Poseidon: learn to accept help it will get you so far

Athena: you're an expert in that department

Poseidon: no ive just been observing your radagast behavior

Hermes: hahahaha hey uncle Poseidon isn't Radagast from that movie the hob-

Poseidon: I DON'T CARE HERMES!

Hermes: okay just asking

**"You didn't need to protect me, Percy. I would've been fine."**

"Sliced like sandwich bread," Grover put in, "but fine."  


Everyone laughed hysterically

**"Shut up, goat boy," said Annabeth.**

Grover brayed mournfully. "Tin cans ... a perfectly good bag of tin cans."

We sloshed across mushy ground, through nasty twisted trees that smelled like sour laundry.  


Aphrodite shrieked in disgust, then pinched her nose

**After a few minutes, Annabeth fell into line next to me. "Look, I..." Her voice faltered. "I appreciate your coming back for us, okay? That was really brave."**

"We're a team, right?"

She was silent for a few more steps. "It's just that if you died ... aside from the fact that it would really suck for you, it would mean the quest was over. This may be my only chance to see the real world."  


Ares: so shes only on the quest just to see the world and not because of the war that could be if they don't reach the solstice in time.

Gods and Titans murmured to eachother

Athena: my daughter is just speaking her mind, and I know she cares for both of them and is dedicated to the quest, not just to see the real world

**The thunderstorm had finally let up. The city glow faded behind us, leaving us in almost total darkness. I couldn't see anything of Annabeth except a glint of her blond hair.**

"You haven't left CampHalf-Blood since you were seven?" I asked her.  


Athena looked saddened by this

'Fredrick what did you do to our daughter' she thought

**"No ... only short field trips. My dad - "**

"The history professor."

"Yeah. It didn't work out for me living at home. I mean, CampHalf-Blood is my home." She was rushing her words out now, as if she were afraid somebody might try to stop her. "At camp you train and train. And that's all cool and everything, but the real world is where the monsters are. That's where you learn whether you're any good or not."

If I didn't know better, I could've sworn I heard doubt in her voice.

"You're pretty good with that knife," I said.

"You think so?"

"Anybody who can piggyback-ride a Fury is okay by me."  


Apollo and Hermes smiled at eachother then looked at Hades

Hades: NO!

Apollo: come on just one time

Hermes: yeah whats the wor-

Hades radiated black energy around him and his eyes started glowing a real dark shade of black *if possible* and Bellowed

Hades: I SAID NO!

Apollo and Hermes shrunk back into their seats while Hades recovered his strength. 

**I couldn't really see, but I thought she might've smiled.**

"You know," she said, "maybe I should tell you ... Something funny back on the bus ..."

Whatever she wanted to say was interrupted by a shrill toot-toot-toot, like the sound of an owl being tortured.  


Athena gasped

Athena: HEY!

**"Hey, my reed pipes still work!" Grover cried. "If I could just remember a 'find path' song, we could get out of these woods!"**

He puffed out a few notes, but the tune still sounded suspiciously like Hilary Duff.

Instead of finding a path, I immediately slammed into a tree and got a nice-size knot on my head.  


Ouch!

**Add to the list of superpowers I did not have: infrared vision.**

After tripping and cursing and generally feeling miserable for another mile or so, I started to see light up ahead: the colors of a neon sign. I could smell food. Fried, greasy, excellent food. 

The Gods drooled while the Goddesses rolled their eyes

**I realized I hadn't eaten anything unhealthy since I'd arrived at Half-Blood Hill, where we lived on grapes, bread, cheese, and extra-lean-cut nymph-prepared barbecue. This boy needed a double cheeseburger.  
**

Apollo: as does this one

Hermes: and this one

Ares: and thi-

Artemis: OKAY WE GET IT, YOU ALL WANT GREASY FRIED FOODS!

They all smiled at Artemis

' she gets it' they thought

**We kept walking until I saw a deserted two-lane road through the trees. On the other side was a closed-down gas station, a tattered billboard for a 1990s movie, and one open business, which was the source of the neon light and the good smell.**

It wasn't a fast-food restaurant like I'd hoped. It was one of those weird roadside curio shops that sell lawn flamingos and wooden Indians and cement grizzly bears and stuff like that. The main building was a long, low warehouse, surrounded by acres of statuary. The neon sign above the gate was impossible for me to read, because if there's anything worse for my dyslexia than regular English, it's red cursive neon English.

To me, it looked like: ATNYU MES GDERAN GOMEN MEPROUIM.  


Everyone looked at Prometheus

Prometheus: what! That's what it says!

Athena walked over and took a look and confirmed

Prometheus muttered something about dinchy gods

**"What the heck does that say?" I asked.**

"I don't know," Annabeth said.

She loved reading so much, I'd forgotten she was dyslexic, too.

Grover translated: "Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium."  


'OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH'

Everyone suddenly got it

Prometheus rolled his eyes

**Flanking the entrance, as advertised, were two cement garden gnomes, ugly bearded little runts, smiling and waving, as if they were about to get their picture taken.**

I crossed the street, following the smell of the hamburgers.

"Hey ..." Grover warned.

"The lights are on inside," Annabeth said. "Maybe it's open."

"Snack bar," I said wistfully.

"Snack bar," she agreed.  


Ares,Hermes and Apollo: SNACK BAR!

They made one appear and pretty soon the male gods and titans were grabbing food off it and went back to their seats before Zeus struck the cart and made it explode.  
**"Are you two crazy?" Grover said. "This place is weird."**

We ignored him.  


Athena facepalmed

Athena: Annabeth!

**The front lot was a forest of statues: cement animals, cement children, even a cement satyr playing the pipes, which gave Grover the creeps.**

"Bla-ha-ha!" he bleated. "Looks like my Uncle Ferdinand!"

We stopped at the warehouse door.

"Don't knock," Grover pleaded. "I smell monsters."

"Your nose is clogged up from the Furies," Annabeth told him. "All I smell is burgers. Aren't you hungry?"

"Meat!" he said scornfully. "I'm a vegetarian."  


Zeus: that farking Satyr eats nothing b ut Enchiladas and Tin Cans

**"You eat cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans," I reminded him.  
**

Zeus nodded in approval

**"Those are vegetables.**

Zeus: BULLSHIT!

Ares and Apollo snickered while Hermes took a photo of Zeus with a crosseyed expression of anger

**Come on. Let's leave. These statues are ... looking at me."**

Then the door creaked open, and standing in front of us was a tall Middle Eastern woman - at least, I assumed she was Middle Eastern, because she wore a long black gown that covered everything but her hands, and her head was completely veiled. Her eyes glinted behind a curtain of black gauze, 

Athena and Poseidons eyes widened

' no…it couldn't be' they thought

**but that was about all I could make out. Her coffee-colored hands looked old, but well-manicured and elegant, so I imagined she was a grandmother who had once been a beautiful lady.  
**

Athena:Beautiful my ass!

**Her accent sounded vaguely Middle Eastern, too. She said, "Children, it is too late to be out all alone. Where are your parents?"**

"They're ... um ..." Annabeth started to say.

"We're orphans," I said.  


Athena facepalmed

**"Orphans?" the woman said. The word sounded alien in her mouth. "But, my dears! Surely not!"**

"We got separated from our caravan," I said. "Our circus caravan. The ringmaster told us to meet him at the gas station if we got lost, but he may have forgotten, or maybe he meant a different gas station. Anyway, we're lost. Is that food I smell?"  


Apollo and Hermes smirked

Apollo: excusing the chatter,so you can eat the platter

Hermes: cutting out the middle jargen and straight to the point I see

Apollo and Hermes looked at eachother then bursted out laughing

**"Oh, my dears," the woman said. "You must come in, poor children. I am Aunty Em. Go straight through to the back of the warehouse, please. There is a dining area."**

We thanked her and went inside.  


Poseidon and Athena: NOOOOOO!

**Annabeth muttered to me, "Circus caravan?"**

"Always have a strategy, right?"

"Your head is full of kelp."

The warehouse was filled with more statues - people in all different poses, wearing all different outfits and with different expressions on their faces.

The others caught on to what Athena and Poseidon were worried about

Apollo: I thought she was killed by Perseus?

Athena: she was but she reformed

Poseidon paled

**I was thinking you'd have to have a pretty huge garden to fit even one of these statues, because they were all life-size. But mostly, I was thinking about food.  
**

Artemis: of course

All the gods snickered

Artemis rolled her eyes

**Go ahead, call me an idiot for walking into a strange lady's shop like that just because I was hungry, but I do impulsive stuff sometimes.**

Apollo: I can relate to that

Artemis snorted

Apollo glared at her

**Plus, you've never smelled Aunty Em's burgers. The aroma was like laughing gas in the dentist's chair - it made everything else go away. I barely noticed Grover's nervous whimpers, or the way the statues' eyes seemed to follow me, or the fact that Aunty Em had locked the door behind us.  
**

Athena: that should've been clue number 1

Poseidon: get out of there son!

Athena glared

Athena: and my daughter!

Poseidon: OF COURSE HER TOO!

Athena: I didn't know you liked my daughter

Poseidon: why, I don't hold grudges against peope and I certainly don't hate people on account of who their parents are unlike you

Athena: why you-

Prometheus: MOVING ON!

**All I cared about was finding the dining area. And sure enough, there it was at the back of the warehouse, a fast-food counter with a grill, a soda fountain, a pretzel heater, and a nacho cheese dispenser. Everything you could want, plus a few steel picnic tables out front.  
**

Apollo: that's paradise

Artemis: ugh brother, what is it with you and food

Apollo: I only eat when-

Artemis interrupted him

Artemis: your hungry yes I already know that

Ares:then why did you ask if you already knew

Artemis: because I wanted to find out why he is hungry all the time

Apollo: well its not Apollos found hes hungry, its his stomach

Helios: why are you talking about yourself in third person?

Apollo: makes things much more interesting

Helios looked dumbfounded

**"Please, sit down," Aunty Em said.**

"Awesome," I said.

"Um," Grover said reluctantly, "we don't have any money, ma'am."  


Zeus snorted

Zeus: when the satyr is the only one thinking straight theyre in trouble

**Before I could jab him in the ribs, Aunty Em said, "No, no, children. No money. This is a special case, yes? It is my treat, for such nice orphans."**

"Thank you, ma'am," Annabeth said.

Aunty Em stiffened, as if Annabeth had done something wrong, but then the old woman relaxed just as quickly, so I figured it must've been my imagination.  


Poseidon shook his head

Poseidon: its not your imagination son

**"Quite all right, Annabeth," she said. "You have such beautiful gray eyes, child." Only later did I wonder how she knew Annabeth's name, even though we had never introduced ourselves.**

****

Our hostess disappeared behind the snack counter and started cooking. Before we knew it, she'd brought us plastic trays heaped with double cheeseburgers, vanilla shakes, and XXL servings of French fries.

I was halfway through my burger before I remembered to breathe.  


Kronos: whats a burger?

Epimetheus: a part of cow that is ground up cooked on what I don't know what humans call it but we call it ξύλο πάνω από τη φωτιά το μαγείρεμα των τροφίμων

Apollo bursted out laughing at that

Hermes: is that seriously what you call it

Crius: why are your laughing about it

Apollo: it just sounds funny

Kronos: WHATS A BURGER!

Epimetheus: as I was saying its grilled on that and is shaped like a circle and put on to what is known as a bun, with vegatables and some kind of red sauce

Athena: how do you know what it is?

Epimetheus: Titan of afterthought remember.

Athena: mmm…ok

**Annabeth slurped her shake.  
**

Aphrodite: hehe cute

Athena looked at Aphrodite bewildered

**Grover picked at the fries, and eyed the tray's waxed paper liner as if he might go for that, but he still looked too nervous to eat.**

"What's that hissing noise?" he asked.

I listened, but didn't hear anything. Annabeth shook her head.

"Hissing?" Aunty Em asked. "Perhaps you hear the deep-fryer oil. You have keen ears, Grover."

"I take vitamins. For my ears."  


Apollo: okay that's a start with the realization process

**"That's admirable," she said. "But please, relax."**

Aunty Em ate nothing. She hadn't taken off her headdress, even to cook, and now she sat forward and interlaced her fingers and watched us eat.

All the Guys groaned

Demeter: what is it

Hermes: I don't like when people watch me eat, makes me feel uncomfortable

Apollo: yeah and you start feeling self consciousness in some sort of way

Demeter: I see

Apollo: hehehehhe

Demeter looked at Apollo

Demeter:what?

Apollo: you said Icee

Athena getting what he was saying

Athena: no Apollo, she meant she got what was said not Icee as in the frozen treat drink

Apollo:oooooooooooooooh

Artemis rolled her eyes

**It was a little unsettling, having someone stare at me when I couldn't see her face, but I was feeling satisfied after the burger, and a little sleepy, and I figured the least I could do was try to make small talk with our hostess.**

"So, you sell gnomes," I said, trying to sound interested.

"Oh, yes," Aunty Em said. "And animals. And people. Anything for the garden. Custom orders. Statuary is very popular, you know."

"A lot of business on this road?"

"Not so much, no. Since the highway was built... most cars, they do not go this way now. I must cherish every customer I get."  


Athena: by killing them by turning them to stone

**My neck tingled, as if somebody else was looking at me. I turned, but it was just a statue of a young girl holding an Easter basket. The detail was incredible, much better than you see in most garden statues. But something was wrong with her face. It looked as if she were startled, or even terrified.  
**

The Goddesses looked sad

**"Ah," Aunty Em said sadly. "You notice some of my creations do not turn out well. They are marred. They do not sell. The face is the hardest to get right. Always the face."**

"You make these statues yourself?" I asked.

"Oh, yes. Once upon a time, I had two sisters to help me in the business, but they have passed on, and Aunty Em is alone. I have only my statues. This is why I make them, you see. They are my company." The sadness in her voice sounded so deep and so real that I couldn't help feeling sorry for her.

Annabeth had stopped eating. She sat forward and said, "Two sisters?"  


' Now she gets it' Athena thought relieved

**"It's a terrible story," Aunty Em said. "Not one for children, really. You see, Annabeth, a bad woman was jealous of me, long ago, when I was young. I had a... a boyfriend,**

Hermes: *cough* UNCLE P*cough*

Poseidon just glared at him

**you know, and this bad woman was determined to break us apart. She caused a terrible accident. **

Athena: you deserved every moment of that torture you witch!

Poseidon: I don't know about that, I mean you could of just punished her with chores or something, but never would I have ever thought you'd actually turn her into a monster

Athena: I was Angry with both of you, but I couldn't harm you so she got the whole punishment

Poseidon stayed silent

**My sisters stayed by me. They shared my bad fortune as long as they could, but eventually they passed on. They faded away. I alone have survived, but at a price. Such a price."**

I wasn't sure what she meant, but I felt bad for her. My eyelids kept getting heavier, my full stomach making me sleepy. Poor old lady. Who would want to hurt somebody so nice?

"Percy?" Annabeth was shaking me to get my attention. "Maybe we should go. I mean, the ringmaster will be waiting."

She sounded tense. I wasn't sure why. Grover was eating the waxed paper off the tray now, but if Aunty Em found that strange, she didn't say anything.

"Such beautiful gray eyes," Aunty Em told Annabeth again. "My, yes, it has been a long time since I've seen gray eyes like those."  


Athena growled

**She reached out as if to stroke Annabeth's cheek, but Annabeth stood up abruptly.**

"We really should go."

"Yes!" Grover swallowed his waxed paper and stood up. "The ringmaster is waiting! Right!"

I didn't want to leave. I felt full and content. Aunty Em was so nice. I wanted to stay with her a while.

"Please, dears," Aunty Em pleaded. "I so rarely get to be with children. Before you go, won't you at least sit for a pose?"  


Poseidon: get out of there!

**"A pose?" Annabeth asked warily.**

"A photograph. I will use it to model a new statue set. Children are so popular, you see. Everyone loves children."  


Athena: and you love to murder them Bitch!

Zeus: Athena!

Athena: sorry father

**Annabeth shifted her weight from foot to foot. "I don't think we can, ma'am. Come on, Percy - "**

"Sure we can," I said. I was irritated with Annabeth for being so bossy, so rude to an old lady who'd just fed us for free. "It's just a photo, Annabeth. What's the harm?"

"Yes, Annabeth," the woman purred. "No harm."

I could tell Annabeth didn't like it, but she allowed Aunty Em to lead us back out the front door, into the garden of statues.

Aunty Em directed us to a park bench next to the stone satyr. "Now," she said, "I'll just position you correctly. The young girl in the middle, I think, and the two young gentlemen on either side."

"Not much light for a photo," I remarked.

"Oh, enough," Aunty Em said. "Enough for us to see each other, yes?"

"Where's your camera?" Grover asked.  


Hades: good question

People looked at him forgetting he was there

**Aunty Em stepped back, as if to admire the shot. "Now, the face is the most difficult. Can you smile for me please, everyone? A large smile?"**

Grover glanced at the cement satyr next to him, and mumbled, "That sure does look like Uncle Ferdinand."

"Grover," Aunty Em chastised, "look this way, dear."

She still had no camera in her hands.

"Percy - " Annabeth said.

Some instinct warned me to listen to Annabeth, but I was fighting the sleepy feeling, the comfortable lull that came from the food and the old lady's voice.

"I will just be a moment," Aunty Em said. "You know, I can't see you very well in this cursed veil..."

"Percy, something's wrong," Annabeth insisted.

"Wrong?" Aunty Em said, reaching up to undo the wrap around her head. "Not at all, dear. I have such noble company tonight. What could be wrong?"

"That is Uncle Ferdinand!" Grover gasped.

"Look away from her!" Annabeth shouted. She whipped her Yankees cap onto her head and vanished. Her invisible hands pushed Grover and me both off the bench.

I was on the ground, looking at Aunt Em's sandaled feet.  


Aphrodite looked green

Aphrodite: ewww feet!

Athena rolled her eyes at her childishness

**I could hear Grover scrambling off in one direction, Annabeth in another. But I was too dazed to move.**

Then I heard a strange, rasping sound above me. My eyes rose to Aunty Em's hands, which had turned gnarled and warty, with sharp bronze talons for fingernails.

I almost looked higher, but somewhere off to my left Annabeth screamed, "No! Don't!"

More rasping - the sound of tiny snakes, right above me, from ... from about where Aunty Em's head would be.

"Run!" Grover bleated. I heard him racing across the gravel, yelling, "Maia!" to kick-start his flying sneakers.

I couldn't move. I stared at Aunty Em's gnarled claws, and tried to fight the groggy trance the old woman had put me in.

"Such a pity to destroy a handsome young face," she told me soothingly. "Stay with me, Percy. All you have to do is look up."

I fought the urge to obey. Instead I looked to one side and saw one of those glass spheres people put in gardens - a gazing ball. I could see Aunty Em's dark reflection in the orange glass; her headdress was gone, revealing her face as a shimmering pale circle. Her hair was moving, writhing like serpents.

Aunty Em.

Aunty "M."  


All: Medusa

**How could I have been so stupid?**

Think, I told myself. How did Medusa die in the myth?

But I couldn't think. Something told me that in the myth Medusa had been asleep when she was attacked by my namesake, Perseus. She wasn't anywhere near asleep now. If she wanted, she could take those talons right now and rake open my face.

"The Gray-Eyed One did this to me, Percy," Medusa said, and she didn't sound anything like a monster. Her voice invited me to look up, to sympathize with a poor old grandmother. "Annabeth's mother, the cursed Athena, turned me from a beautiful woman into this."  


Athena: you deserved it!

Zeus: Athena please be quiet

**"Don't listen to her!" Annabeth's voice shouted, somewhere in the statuary. "Run, Percy!"**

"Silence!" Medusa snarled. Then her voice modulated back to a comforting purr. "You see why I must destroy the girl, Percy. She is my enemy's daughter. I shall crush her statue to dust. But you, dear Percy, you need not suffer."  


Apollo: looks like she still loves the sea charm you put on her Uncle P

Poseidon looked at him like hes crazy

**"No," I muttered. I tried to make my legs move.**

"Do you really want to help the gods?" Medusa asked. "Do you understand what awaits you on this foolish quest, Percy? What will happen if you reach the Underworld? Do not be a pawn of the Olympians, my dear. You would be better off as a statue. Less pain. Less pain."

"Percy!" Behind me, I heard a buzzing sound, like a two-hundred-pound hummingbird in a nosedive. Grover yelled, "Duck!"  


Hermes: THE RED BARON!

Demeter conjured up some vines to keep him quiet for the time being

**I turned, and there he was in the night sky, flying in from twelve o'clock with his winged shoes fluttering, Grover, holding a tree branch the size of a baseball bat. His eyes were shut tight, his head twitched from side to side. He was navigating by ears and nose alone.**

"Duck!" he yelled again. "I'll get her!"

That finally jolted me into action. Knowing Grover, I was sure he'd miss Medusa and nail me. I dove to one side.

Thwack!

At first I figured it was the sound of Grover hitting a tree. Then Medusa roared with rage.

Everyone cheered

Get her!

Kill her

Rip her head off

Was heard in the room

****

"You miserable satyr," she snarled. "I'll add you to my collection!"

"That was for Uncle Ferdinand!" Grover yelled back.  


Dionysus smiled

'satyrs' he thought

**I scrambled away and hid in the statuary while Grover swooped down for another pass.**

Ker-whack!

"Arrgh!" Medusa yelled, her snake-hair hissing and spitting.

Right next to me, Annabeth's voice said, "Percy!"

I jumped so high my feet nearly cleared a garden gnome. "Jeez! Don't do that!"

Annabeth took off her Yankees cap and became visible. 'You have to cut her head off."

"What? Are you crazy? Let's get out of here."

"Medusa is a menace. She's evil. I'd kill her myself, but..." Annabeth swallowed, as if she were about to make a difficult admission. "But you've got the better weapon. Besides, I'd never get close to her. She'd slice me to bits because of my mother. You - you've got a chance."

"What? I can't - "

"Look, do you want her turning more innocent people into statues?"  


Poseidon and Athena looked down guilty

**She pointed to a pair of statue lovers, a man and a woman with their arms around each other, turned to stone by the monster.**

The Goddesses looked pained

The Gods looked Hardened (hehehe)

**Annabeth grabbed a green gazing ball from a nearby pedestal. "A polished shield would be better." She studied the sphere critically. "The convexity will cause some distortion. The reflection's size should be off by a factor of - "  
**

Ares: what the hell is she talking about?

**"Would you speak English?"  
**

Ares: thank you

**"I am!" She tossed me the glass ball. "Just look at her in the glass. Never look at her directly."**

"Hey, guys!" Grover yelled somewhere above us. "I think she's unconscious!"

"Roooaaarrr!"

"Maybe not," Grover corrected. He went in for another pass with the tree branch.

"Hurry," Annabeth told me. "Grover's got a great nose, but he'll eventually crash."

I took out my pen and uncapped it. The bronze blade of Riptide elongated in my hand.

I followed the hissing and spitting sounds of Medusa's hair.

I kept my eyes locked on the gazing ball so I would only glimpse Medusa's reflection, not the real thing. Then, in the green tinted glass, I saw her.

Grover was coming in for another turn at bat, but this time he flew a little too low. Medusa grabbed the stick and pulled him off course. He tumbled through the air and crashed into the arms of a stone grizzly bear with a painful "Ummphh!"

Medusa was about to lunge at him when I yelled, "Hey!"

I advanced on her, which wasn't easy, holding a sword and a glass ball. If she charged, I'd have a hard time defending myself.

But she let me approach - twenty feet, ten feet.

I could see the reflection of her face now. Surely it wasn't really that ugly. The green swirls of the gazing ball must be distorting it, making it look worse.

"You wouldn't harm an old woman, Percy," she crooned. "I know you wouldn't."  


Athena looked ready to take down a herd of Water buffalos

**I hesitated, fascinated by the face I saw reflected in the glass - the eyes that seemed to burn straight through the green tint, making my arms go weak.**

From the cement grizzly, Grover moaned, "Percy, don't listen to her!"

Medusa cackled. "Too late."

She lunged at me with her talons.

I slashed up with my sword, heard a sickening shlock!, then a hiss like wind rushing out of a cavern - the sound of a monster disintegrating.  


Poseidon and Athena cheered so loud, people I nthe Minor God district thought it was a screaming harpy from Hades

**Something fell to the ground next to my foot. It took all my willpower not to look. I could feel warm ooze soaking into my sock, little dying snake heads tugging at my shoelaces.**

"Oh, yuck," Grover said. His eyes were still tightly closed, but I guess he could hear the thing gurgling and steaming. "Mega-yuck."  


Aphrodite: ill say

**Annabeth came up next to me, her eyes fixed on the sky. She was holding Medusa's black veil. She said, "Don't move."**

Very, very carefully, without looking down, she knelt and draped the monster's head in black cloth, then picked it up. It was still dripping green juice.

"Are you okay?" she asked me, her voice trembling.

"Yeah," I decided, though I felt like throwing up my double cheeseburger. "Why didn't ... why didn't the head evaporate?"  


Ares: Spoil of War, they are great

**"Once you sever it, it becomes a spoil of war," she said. "Same as your minotaur horn. But don't unwrap the head. It can still petrify you."**

Grover moaned as he climbed down from the grizzly statue. He had a big welt on his forehead. His green rasta cap hung from one of his little goat horns, and his fake feet had been knocked off his hooves. The magic sneakers were flying aimlessly around his head.

"The Red Baron," I said. "Good job, man."  


Everyone snickered at the comment made by Hermes earlier

**He managed a bashful grin. "That really was not fun, though. Well, the hitting-her-with-a-stick part, that was fun. But crashing into a concrete bear? Not fun."**

He snatched his shoes out of the air. I recapped my sword. Together, the three of us stumbled back to the warehouse.

We found some old plastic grocery bags behind the snack counter and double-wrapped Medusa's head. We plopped it on the table where we'd eaten dinner and sat around it, too exhausted to speak.

Finally I said, "So we have Athena to thank for this monster?"  


Athena looked irritated

**Annabeth flashed me an irritated look. "Your dad, actually. **

Poseidon looked angry

Poseidon: Excuse me!

Athena: it was your fault

Poseidon: no I was with heri n your temple, but you were the one who turned her into the monster. Remember

Athena: made necessary by your going into my temple

Poseidon: it was your fault Accept it and move on

Athena: I wil-

Prometheus kept reading

**Don't you remember? Medusa was Poseidon's girlfriend. They decided to meet in my mother's temple. That's why Athena turned her into a monster. Medusa and her two sisters who had helped her get into the temple, they became the three gorgons. That's why Medusa wanted to slice me up, but she wanted to preserve you as a nice statue. She's still sweet on your dad. You probably reminded her of him."  
**

Poseidon smiled then frowned

**My face was burning. "Oh, so now it's my fault we met Medusa."**

Annabeth straightened. In a bad imitation of my voice, she said: "'It's just a photo, Annabeth. What's the harm?'"  


Everyone laughed at that

Poseidon looked grim

**"Forget it," I said. "You're impossible."**

"You're insufferable."

"You're - "

"Hey!" Grover interrupted. "You two are giving me a migraine, and satyrs don't even get migraines. 

Dionysus: HA!

Zeus looked at him questioningly

Dionysus: what I can be participated if I wanna be

**What are we going to do with the head?"**

I stared at the thing. One little snake was hanging out of a hole in the plastic. The words printed on the side of the bag said: WE APPRECIATE YOUR BUSINESS!

I was angry, not just with Annabeth or her mom, but with all the gods for this whole quest, for getting us blown off the road and in two major fights the very first day out from camp. At this rate, we'd never make it to L.A. alive, much less before the summer solstice.  


Hades: that's Zeus for ya

Zeus glare at him

**What had Medusa said?**

Do not be a pawn of the Olympians, my dear. You would be better off as a statue.

I got up. "I'll be back."

"Percy," Annabeth called after me. "What are you - "

I searched the back of the warehouse until I found Medusa's office. Her account book showed her six most recent sales, all shipments to the Underworld to decorate Hades and Persephone's garden. According to one freight bill, the Underworld's billing address was DOA Recording Studios, West Hollywood, California. I folded up the bill and stuffed it in my pocket.  


Hermes: good good get the info you need

**In the cash register I found twenty dollars, a few golden drachmas, and some packing slips for Hermes Overnight Express, each with a little leather bag attached for coins. I rummaged around the rest of the office until I found the right-size box.  
**

'hes not gonna do what I think he is' Poseidon thought

**I went back to the picnic table, packed up Medusa's head, and filled out a delivery slip:**

The Gods

Mount Olympus

600th Floor,

Empire StateBuilding

New York, NY

With best wishes,

PERCY JACKSON  


Zeus: that little sea brat!

Hera: I think its quite brave on his part

Ares: that punks got balls

He said while laughing

Athena: stupid boy

Poseidon: son that wasn't very smart of you

Hermes: this kid is alright with me

Demeter: maybe a flower with brighten his day

Hades groaned

**"They're not going to like that," Grover warned. "They'll think you're impertinent."**

I poured some golden drachmas in the pouch. As soon as I closed it, there was a sound like a cash register. The package floated off the table and disappeared with a pop!

"I am impertinent," I said.  


Ares nodded in approval ' this punks not bad' he thought

**I looked at Annabeth, daring her to criticize.**

She didn't. She seemed resigned to the fact that I had a major talent for ticking off the gods. "Come on," she muttered. "We need a new plan."

Prometheus: and DONE! WHO NEXT

Tethys; I will

Apollo: wait! Lets eat,

Zeus: sounds good

He snapped his fingers and food appeared in front of everyone


End file.
